I can't beleive how horrible today went. I really can't. Nothing could have possibly been so bad but it was. Not even the fact that RJ bought me Fatal Frame 2: Crimson Butterfly (Director's Cut) for the XBox. I'll get into that later. So let me get into detail about the problems.

I got to school early again. This is because my sister insists on being there before anyone else is and the school is still dark. Well, anyway, Jenna, Alex, and Tisha were already there so I didn't have to wait for them. I was really excited to tell them that RJ had gotten me the game. So I started blurting out how cool it was and how he didn't have to do it, etc. Tish must have been really jealous of me or something because she started giving me these dirty looks. Alex just whined constantly saying how I should have asked him for 100 dollars for her own selfish needs. I wasn't having any of that at all so I snapped at them.

Then the two started saying Leslie wanted to go out with RJ. Well that's not true at all so I started to tell them that she only liked him as a friend. Tisha gave me a fucking smart ass look and said,"If you want my opinion (Which I DID NOT) I think you're jealous. You probably are in love with RJ!" Then Alex was like,"Mhm Yeah!" Jenna was just...out there. I don't think she wanted to get into it but she joked with me about it later. I really don't understand what the fuck was wrong with them. It's not like I started anything. I just told them the truth. Tisha is just freaking jealous that I got something and she didn't. Her and Alex really need to grow the fuck up.

When I got to art there must have been something wrong with Mrs. Brown!! That woman went off on me because of my Alice in Wonderland water color painting. That really really stressed me out. She basically took over it and started painting shit on it that I didn't want on there. It was my painting she had no right to do that! Then I just MANAGED to fucking spill water all over it. It was way too much for me. I've been too stressed to deal with things like that so I just started crying. Alex kept telling people I was crying and moping cause I had spilled the water. I corrected her stupidity by noting I had been really stressed out lately and I didnt need her or Tisha's bullshit.

I guess other then that though I've been sort of okay...Everything kind of went downhill from there at a really fast pace. Jenna tried to comfort me by telling me that Fatal Frame 2 would make up for that. It sort of did. I'm excited to own it but I have to get my XBox from Luis first <3! Well...I suppose that's it. Oh!! Jenna is comming over this weekend! You don't know how excited I am. It's nice to have someone you actually like come over and spend time with you. I'm going to introduce her to Fatal Frame and Fatal Frame 2! She thinks she's going to be scared but I'm sure she'll like it. I really like talking to her about the games 'cause she doesn't make me feel stupid like some people (ALEXTISHACOUGH). I guess (Like Jenna has told me before) that the good things even out the bad things.

For some reason I feel a lot like Tifa. No that's not a good thing either. I feel like the friend who puts herself on the line to make other people happy even though I can't be happy myself. I really could just tell everyone to drop dead but I don't have it in me to do it. Why can't people do for me what I do for them? Is it too much to ask?

I'm sorry I'm "complaining" but i'm always bothered by these thoughts. What would it be like if I just started to act as if no one mattered? If it was all about me? Maybe it would be better then how I feel right now. Wouldn't it? Wouldn't it?!

Jessi is the only one who hasn't made me feel bad for how I feel. I think she understands that I feel no matter how hard I try there's something I can do better, even though people step on me as a thank you. Even when I try to hold myself higher with more pride they walk all over me. I don't know what to do anymore...