Okay, so.. As some of you may know, I had pretty much decided about the "for-now job thing", which means I had decided to remain part time. The only downfall would have been.. no health insurance because as a part timer, you can't get it at the job, and we can't seem to be lucky (or blessed) to find an agency that will accept me due to my head injury back in 2005. They figure, I guess, "what if everything's not okay with her? We're to make money, not hand it out.. So, no." kind of thing. Not trying to sound mean at all. If you were an insurance agency, would you want to cover someone who had a lot of hospital bills to pay? Yeah.. Thought not. So, anyways. As a part timer, I could get way more income (it seems so far.. as of this Friday, I would have worked a little over 90 hours in the past two weeks, I believe..) because I could be free to get as many hours as I needed/wanted, and also have free time when I wanted, for the most part. I'm a pretty dedicated worker, so when they call me in, unless I absolutely have something I can't back down from or get out of, I come in. (I'm a great part-timer for a place like this.. ;) haha) But yeah.. Anyways.. One of the supervisors called me in yesterday to let me know she had an opening on her shift.. And guess what.. It's a full-time position in the ONLY way POSSIBLE I'd be willing to take it at this place.. The only way I wouldn't feel like I was going insane, I guess! haha. But yeah.. If I accept it, I would be working with the night shift supervisor I like best, AND be on the dorm that I seem to work best with! How neat is that? I'm like "Alright, God.. Is this you trying to tell me this is for me? How do I know?" So, I asked the lady if I could have the weekend to discuss all the pros and cons with my parents, dealing with finances, bills, etc.. And DEFINATELY pray about it, for sure! ..And get back with her on Monday, to which I would let her know whether or not I'd be accepting the position. Also, she is to let me know by no later than Monday if that means I will no longer be able to get the time off coming up that I had requested to travel up to north GA to visit my boyfriend and go job hunting, and not to mention be free to visit other people. So, yeah.. I had requested off August 8-18th.. So, I hope and pray I can still get those days off if I accept this position. I've worked HARD to be able to earn some time off. n.n; It sure would be nice. So, yeah.. Anyways. And I just remembered this morning that this would interfer with the hours I've already been signed up to work for other people. n.n; haha. So, I'll have to check on that stuff too. Anyways.

     But yeah, if you could.. Just be in prayer for me! I've got a lot going on, and some decisions to make by Monday, obviously. Pray for me especially this Saturday, because I had already planned to sit down with my Dad and discuss finances. I'm tired of asking him to talk about them EVERY weekend I go home, to have him tell me "Not right now. We will later" to which I say "Alright Dad. Just come get me as soon as you're ready. I'm free until I go to bed." And then, finding out from Mom he makes it seem like it's my fault, because about the time I get ready for bed, I go back to his living room and am like "Alright Dad.. We seriously need to discuss my finances" and he replies "What?! It's TOO late now. You should have come earlier". Excuse me? I told you I was READY the WHOLE night. YOU were the one who wasn't. It was YOUR job to come and get ME when YOU were ready! It's not my fault. I intentionally didn't get involved in anything I couldn't break away from immediately. It is SO not my fault. It's been this same (above) conversation for the past like.. month's worth of weekends in a row. And somehow it's my fault. Ugh. So, yeah. I took it upon myself to be a little pushy. Called him up to see if he has any plans this Saturday morning. Found out he doesn't, so, I told him to not plan ANYTHING. Told him to be ready to discuss finances as soon as I get home that morning, and I plan to be there around probably no later than 11 AM. (Aiming for around 10 AM their time so I can make it there by about 11. Haha. You know me. ;) ) So, yeah.. Called him up last night to include this job possibility in the mix. Asked them to be in prayer about it, and we'll discuss it more Saturday. So, be in prayer for US this Saturday morning! Haha.

     I forgot what else I was about to say.. The whole reason I started a new paragraph even. :p Oh well. Go me! haha. Anywho. Here's what my new work schedule will be, on average:

Working: Monday & Tuesday, Friday Saturday and Sunday -- 6 PM to 6 AM. Have off: Wednesday and Thursday. So, the next week would be this:

Working: Wednesday & Thursday -- 6 PM to 6 AM. Have off: Monday & Tuesday, Friday, Saturday, & Sunday.

     At this job, we have a "long week" (at least 60 hours) and a "short week" (24), for a grand total of 84 hours in a two week period. I'd have every other weekend off, presumably (so long as we have enough part-time help), and every other Wednesday night, so at least I'd be able to go to church about once a week, hopefully. That's encouraging! I'm not garuanteed that right now as a part-timer. haha. I need my church time! Desperately. It helps to keep me going on weeks that feel like they have no end (are bad beyond belief, etc).. haha. :) It means I'll only be able to go to my church twice a month, which is sad.. Even sadder on months when I visit Jeremy on a weekend off, because I'll only get to go to my home church ONCE a month. :( But, I guess I'll manage if this is what God has called me to. So, yeah. It will also give me some time to work on my appartment, at cleaning everything. When I move out in December, I plan to have this thing be TONS cleaner than what it was when we first moved here! YEAH boy! I'm already well on my way. :) My first task right now is tackling my room.. Putting all old school stuff into little things to help me organize, and putting other stuff into labled boxes and such, so I can keep up with everything. My room will look AMAZING when I'm done. I have high hopes, at least. ;) hehe. It may take me FOREVER to accomplish that, but yeah! It WILL be done! You know? :) So, anywho..

     I'm sure you all are getting tired of reading by now, so, yeah.. I'll let you go! Hope you read it all. :) Much info. :)

Love you guys, sincerely,

~*Akarui Mitsukai*~

   ...Curling up in a hole and dying? Yeah, well. That's how I feel as of last night. I HATE feeling like everytime I try to be open about stuff I care about, crap hits the fan and goes flying (to put it mildly). I want to just close myself off from a certain someone again. I'm tired of aching a little every day, and each time I try to help fix it, making it worse. Maybe this is God trying to tell me it's not His will? Heck if I know. I haven't known much as of late dealing with this area of my life. Don't get me wrong. I really care about this individual.. But if things don't change, I don't see myself ever being truly happy in this friendship. If things won't change, I want to give up. I think I should. I'm trying to hold out for a little longer though, God. You know me.. I'm not a quitter. But why is it that on the things that matter MOST to me, I can never seem to be on the same level as this individual friend. I won't fall by the wayside any more.

   God, I'm seeking you out. I need answers. Please hear me calling, and help me to seek you. I'm tired of putting my quiet times off until night time, and only spending a FEW minutes in your word right before going to bed, filling like "Oh, I've done my Christian duty for the day." Excuse the language, but seriously. "To Hell with that!" That's the only place the old me belongs. God, I want you. I need you! Help me to find you and your will in all of this. Where is my next step? Can I at least see that, Lord? I have no clue where to go. Help me. Guide me.

   Help me to find a job in GA. I'm beginning to not care where it is or what it is, so long as it's in GA. I saw one on the east coast earlier today that interested me. Oh well. Life goes on, though. Trying to find one near the Buford/Cumming/Atlanta area. (If any of you guys know of any place hiring around there for full-time, let me know! Thanks!!) We'll see how all of that works out. Perhaps I could get my friend, Janice, to help me at least find a full-time job to hold me over until I at least get my Master's, since that's what I need to get the job I want.

   Pray for me, friends. Let me know you care right now. I need good friends words of encouragement more than anything right now. I need strength. I'm feeling weak, and like I'm about to crumble. I want to get on with the rest of my life. We'll see how that goes.. But God, I'm coming back to you regardless. If that pushes people away, I've got to be okay with that. I refuse to live as I did any longer. Help me, God, to stand strong for you.

Run in fear if you don't want to hear about Him,

~*Akarui Mitsukai*~

Hi there,

Just posting real quick while I'm sitting at work, watching a lady's class while she's in PAR re-training. I hope I can attend a PAR re-training thing soon. I feel like I've forgotten most of it already. Anywho! Yeah, so... Keep me in your prayers as I am searching for a job in GA, preferably near the Cumming or Buford area. I could use prayer big-time. Just sent my resume to my brother this morning to have him proof-read it for me.. One ministry-related one, and one not ministry related. Anywho.

My brother and sister-in-law are moving in just a while long.. At the end of June. It's bittersweet for me. I'm excited for them, and so sad to see them going, you know? It's like.. If I need to call someone up to go to any time, day or night, they were the one's, you know? Haha, not that I ever needed to do that.. But just the thought of them being there for that was a comfort. You know? So, I'm sad to see them go. They're part of my support group. I don't think they'll ever know how much they have helped me through. Anywho. Yep. So, be praying for them too. I can imagine it's kind of bitter-sweet for them also. Anywho.

I had best be signing off pretty soon. I can't wait to see Jeremy in about a little over a month. Each time I get to see him seems to make it harder and harder to leave him. Can anyone relate to this feeling? n.n; haha. Anywho.

Love you guys! Pray for me! Working 12 hour today, from 12PM to 12AM. Yay, right? ;) Haha. I'll be fine if I can make it to about 9:30 PM. ;P

With Love,

~*Akarui Mitsukai*~

John 16:33

P.S. Kara, remind me to return a cup and a wash-rag to you! I still have some of your's. Thanks!

Yep, I had one.. I read my daily devotional tonight, and felt inspired when I got done reading it. It was on prayer, and about how we need to be childlike in our faith, and the writer mentioned not only in our faith -- but also in our prayers. He mentioned the verse in I Thessalonians where it says we are to pray without ceasing. He had a lot of good things to say on the topic, but to save on time and space, I will give the brief. We need to pray as we breath.. as our heart pumps blood. Normally, people do not think about taking their next breath to take it, or their heart pumping its next pump.. But it does. Our prayer needs to be like that. One where it happens without us really having to stop and think and set aside only special time for it. Yes, special time for prayer is good by all means. However, you should never limit your prayers to that. Understand? Anywho.. So, yeah.. The author's words about this really inspired me. I need to learn how to pray more to where it becomes natural second nature to me, just like breathing and having my heart pumping. A comparison I thought of to add to this guy's was this -- Just like how your body begins to suffer and can not funtion well or even survive with prolonged periods of absences of these two functions, such is the story of our lives without prayer.. They can never live up to their full par without prayer! No questions asked. :) Lacking something? Try seeking God out on the matter, and await an answer. Don't just assume He won't answer or some such. Trust Him.

Anyways, before I start typing out complete jibberish, I need to go to bed! I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow, and I need to be up in around 4 hours. n.n; haha. Pray for me! (Continue speaking to me, Jesus.)

Love you guys immensely,

~*Akarui Mitsukai*~

It sure is. According to my countdown, it is (roughly) 2 days, 19 hours, and 38 minutes away! Wow. That means I have two papers to finish by noon on Thursday.. So, yay that. :p But yeah. And.. That's all I have left to do! I have news about three of my classes that is really good, but I still have a person I want to deliver the news to via myself, so I'm holding off on posting about it until I talk to her. Just wanted you all to know where I was standing.. I'm still slightly stressed, and have had a KILLER headache ALL day.. But.. It's almost over, hopefully. Work has been stressful these past 2 weeks, so I could use some prayer for dealing with all that stuff tonight while I have a headache. n.n; Haha. Can't ask for it off, even though I have a serious headache.. Took some advil. I've got bills to pay, and need to start setting aside for paying off student loans. Yep.

Pray for Me, My Dearest Friends,

~*Akarui Mitsukai*~

The Cheerful Angel