Everything needs to come to an end. I need to start something new.

Do you still remember me? Who am I? An insane person that you can't trust? Can't get in my car.....i will always remember that for the rest of my life....after all these years you can trust me. I am not going to hurt anybody and it's strictly your fault....oh my god.......

one last time...one last time i want to write anything out about this. Out of all possible choices that was the worst that can ever happened. I don't want it to end that way. I don't want to make things ugly. I think Christine Ellingsen is right, girls always try to make the guy looks and feels bad, even though they have done nothing wrong. Christine Lau said it was unbelievable that a mature person will involve other people in it. Is the purpose just to make me look like a crazy guy out there to hurt somebody. She said i deserve a formal apology addressing all the people involved, so I wouldn't get blame for something that i have done nothing wrong.

I tried to not think about these things, I am soooo amazed at how others can get over things and live a super happy life and pretend nothing happened. I wish i can do that, maybe I was too in to it, but wait, am i supposed to be doing that? I gave eveything that i would give, but it just didn't help.

Don't get me wrong, I wish we will meet up again, talk about how we've been, and encourage each other and all that good stuff. But that would only happen if i am still a normal person to you. And I am still waiting for my momories in the mail, like i said, it's probably worth nothing for you.

I am so immature, why am i writing all this stuff online, I guess i just don't give a shit anymore. Fuck this!

I almost forgot about my own xanga since i always just read other ppl's. Well, what is new? um..... I guess the fact that I start going to MPPC ( Menlo Park Presbyterian chruch with Alice. MPPC is so great and huge at the same time. It sits about a 1000 ppl per sermon, and they have 6 sermons each weekend. I really like the teaching pastor John Ortberg, who is actually a author with three bestselling Christian books.It feels kinda like a concert at the sunday service since I can finally see the "person in real life".haha..

School is going great, it's actually not too bad this quarter but i need to figure out what concentration i need to go into very soon. Either analog or digital, I think i will most likely to do analog but it seems kinda boring tho....I am really excited to finish my last 30 units in Cal Poly, then i can finally stop going to school after being in school for almost 15 years.

It's great to have friends in my life, hanging out with ppl from SVAC is great. I am glad to meet some ppl in joseph, I hope you guys will do good for the rest of the year in school and fellowship la. I have to take a nap ASAP since i just got back from the bay and i am soooo tired from driving, Thanks McDonald's #2 for keeping me awake :)

He was trying to ask me for direction, and i told him he shouldn't be driving!

School really sucked today as i took almost a week off. I had a great time in the bay for the past week. Had fun playing b-ball with the guys, went to a really cool car show, and had free meals....actually four free meals, and two of them were hotpot! Both of the hotpots were good, thank you jocelyn and uncle sam.

So one more week of regular lecture and finals week. I always get sick after finals week, maybe i am too stress during that time. This sunday is going to be the game, I wonder how the josephers will do. Hopefully we will add oil and play good la.

I have been in L.A the past two thanksgiving, i haven't had thansgiving dinner at SVAC and hang around with church people during thanksgiving for a long time.It's fun and i am glad i came back for it.

Personal statements....As i look around joseph and seeing people writing their personal statements.....um...it's such a long time ago when i go around and ask for help for mine. And after all the work I finally got into some college that didn't need a PS....how ironic!