I’m so fuckin confused! As dumb as this sounds I really don’t know myself, my needs, what makes me happy and what I need in my life… feeling hella lost right now… I need some guidance! There’s just been a question constantly on my mind and it’s got me endlessly searching for a damn answer… the question that keeps replaying in my mind is why do I push the people that care for me away? Like I keep telling myself I want to find someone that truly cares for me, but when that someone is standing before me I turn them away… and I don’t know why? Am I scared of commitment, Am I just too closed minded, am I still hurting off of my past heartache? I don’t know what makes me turn them away… But all I do know is if I don’t change I’m going to miss out on being with someone that has more than enough to offer me… But another thing that leaves me in a state of confusion is I feel torn between two people that care for me… And I could never choose one over the other because I care for each of them equally and would never want to do anything to hurt either one of them, and that’s why I would rather be alone then to hurt anyone… but its so fuckin hard because a huge part of me would like to be in a relationship, but then deep down inside I know it’s wrong… I just feel so guilty! But I don’t know what I did to make them like me… it’s stressing me out…because it’s not just happening with one person, there’s two people involved and it adds to the stress because I get caught up trying not to hurt one of them … Shit I don’t know it’s confusing as fuck! err I’m using the “F,” word too much… I just hate the situation I’m in right now, I just need time away from people…but anyways I’m not in the best mood right now…