All my life I wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
- Jane Wagner
It's been a damn long time I've written anything in this Xanga. Life's been kicking me in the groin. I write this under the influence of two drugs that lightly use every few days. Heavier on some days others none at all, there are things making me think about the stupid things I do and other stuff I tend to forget about. I say things under this influence that I don't mean, or totally regret. The things that come to mind are always important in my mind - Work, life & love. I may over analyze things but I also see situations in a different light, those won't don't participate in these types of activities can't relate as much as me. So I believe it is rather unfair to judge me based on what society says but to see things from my eyes.
Wrote that a few weeks back, I usually have trouble writing in my xanga due to... I guess myself. Things haven't been going so well, mentally I'm exhausted. I've been racking my brain trying to figure out where my life is at and constantly question where I should be. I feel like my life is not where I want it to be at this age, I'm starting to gain some flabbage around the gut area and that doesn't help my confidence level. Cigarettes, I want to kick the habit but I keep buying packs. Mary Jane... I have cut down a fair amount but seem to use it excessively on the weekends. There's a large list to help improve my own quality of life and I keep taking baby steps toward where I would like to be. It would be just a matter of time to be contempt with where I stand. I will be posting more frequently with the garbage of my brain.
I ride the 7 train pretty often on the way home to hit up the library and see the sights. One sight I've been seeing when passing by Shea Stadium is the new Citi Field that is being built. They are building it at a pretty fast rate, people have been telling me that they will finish it in 2 years. Parts of the frame are being put together and is visible from the 7 train. What's more important is the apple, the apple that lights up when someone hits a homerun. Anyone who's been at Shea and has seen a homer would know what I'm talking aboot. My friend Tiff, just sent me an email with the following link; http://www.savetheapple.com/index.php. It pretty much proposes to keep the old apple from shea and not build a new one for Citi field. This little bit of nostolgia should be preserved for the new stadium so support the site!
I keep spelling Tomorrow, Tommorow. I guess I got that wrong on spelling tests.
The emptiness in your gut. Flashback memories that result in tears. Goosebumps that seem to never go away.
I may over analyze things but I also see situations in a different light, those won't don't participate in these types of activities can't relate as much as me. So I believe it is rather unfair to judge me based on what society says but to see things from my eyes. 
What's more important is the apple, the apple that lights up when someone hits a homerun. Anyone who's been at Shea and has seen a homer would know what I'm talking aboot. My friend 
