aliciac's Xanga

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Sun, 01 Jan 2006 23:18:07 GMT

Meh-Meh.

Bored. Restless. Wanderlust. Need to escape. Go somewhere, anywhere. Stagnating, getting incredibly fat. Feel like crap all the time.

Made decent money at freelance web stuff, through sheer luck some how. Don't know if it'll hold up, os pursueing opportunities in the job market.

Unresistable urge to sell everything and head for the hills. No stupid people, everyone takes it easy, and just ride for the rest of my life, or until I get a really crappy injury. Some place I could do it cheaply. Cold and snowy. Should have done it this year. Should have done it like I promised someone I would afterwards. Got caught up in the rat race, and got cornered by people with sharp claws and terrible motives.

I have no idea what I want to do. It's terrible.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Mon, 31 Oct 2005 19:07:23 GMT

"Thomas Merton wrote, 'There is always a temptation to diddle around in the contemplative life, making itsy-bitsy statues.' There is always an enormous temptation in all of life to diddle around making itsy-bitsy friends and meals and journeys for itsy-bitsy years on end. It is so self-conscious, so apparently moral, simply to step aside from the gaps where the creeks and winds pour down, saying, I never merited this grace, quite rightly, and then to sulk along the rest of your days on the edge of rage. I won't have it. The world is wilder than that in all directions, more dangerous and bitter, more extravagant and bright. We are making hay when we should be making whoopie; we are raising tomatoes when we should be raising Cain, or Lazarus." -Annie Dillard

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Thu, 27 Oct 2005 15:22:12 GMT

I'm so suprised this hasn't been deleted. Sigh. Stress makes me psycho. I think literally.

I got fired. Blam.

Best/Worst thing that ever happened to me. Terrible betrayal by the company I can't stop thinking about, but I'm stressed out no more. Originally, I told myself I would only do it for as long as I needed to. I should have quit the instant I came back.

Being nice to Jen. Can't believe she stands by me through all the crap I put her through. However, we are now just drifting through life, aimless, driftless, etc. I have no idea what I want to do. Still waiting for my last check and severence, have to return some stuff, get some stuff from the office, that kind of shit. God I hate those assholes.

I'm starting to think the only winning move in the rat race is not to play. I'm tired, and looking foward to going to college this fall for... something. I honestly don't know what.

Have a crazy idea of hiking the appalachian trail to find my purpose, deal with some things. Not going to happen though... too much many, to much of this or that. Fucking "Yeahbuts" that crop up all the time.

I guess we could move out west as well. Really should do that even though it will be hard. Sometimes the right things to do are the hardest.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Wed, 06 Jul 2005 07:46:20 GMT

Random smut. Stop reading now if offended

My trainee of the day steps in the door. I've been waiting for 10 minutes. She is late.

"Stop right there. Turn around." I say. Quickly I get off the couch and move over to her. "Your late"

"Sorry Ma'am" she says.

"Not yet your not. But we'll fix that." I announce through my grin. "Today’s training is about realizing your place as a submissive, doing what your trainer, owner, or others above you want to go, irregardless of whether you want to or not. Do you understand?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"Good." I say. I pick the leg and arm cuffs off the table. Unbuckling them, I drew the first arm cuffs slowly from her elbow all the way to her wrist, letting her feel the fur on the inside before fastening it and locking it on her wrist. I repeated the same on the other wrist and both ankles, and began to hear a subtle change in her breathing. I traced my hands from her wrist down to her armpit and inside her shirt. Sigh. A bra strap. I move my hands down her body over her stomach and hips. I slowly travel the hem of her short skirt and she shudders ever so slightly. I brush my hand up her thighs and feel the elastic at the leg holes of her panties. "We've done something we shouldn't have, haven't we?"

"What?" Her nervous voice says.

I take a double clip from my belt, pulled her hands down and clipped them behind her back, and spun her around. I smacked her face sharply. "A. You forgot Ma'am. That's disrespectful. B. You are wearing both panties and bra. What did my email say?"

Her eyes cast down she says, "Not to wear bra or panties, Ma'am."

"And why did you do that?" I ask

"Because I was embarrassed, and the skirt was so short Ma'am, and the top cut low, Ma'am"

Grabbing her hair I look into her eyes and say, "That was the point. Don't worry, we'll make sure you go out later shopping, and get plenty embarrassed to make up for it." Luckily, I'm prepared. I reach into my back pocket and grab my shears. I hold them in front of her face and open and close them. "You aren't really attached to those underwear are you?" Her eyes go wide. "Sshh. Not a word." I slid them underneath her top and clip both bra strap, and pull her top up enough to see her breast poking out of the cups. I slowly cut between the cups until her breasts spring out, and pull the bra free from the back.

Working down, I pull up her skirt up and expose her panties. "You know, if you don't start following directions, you are going to run out of things to wear!" Slowly I cut along her hips on both sides and pull the delicately through her crotch. I unclip her arms. "Now, lets try this again. When you enter the house to train, you will not wear bra or panties, or we can repeat this exercise till you have nothing to wear slut. Upon entering you will take off your shoes, place them neatly on the floor, and take off all your clothes. Your clothes will then be folded neatly and placed on top of your shoes. Then kneel on the doormat. Understand?"

"Yes Ma'am" she says, eyes cast downwards.

"Good. Now go outside, come in, and do it right. I would do it quickly before one of your neighbors notices your interesting wrist and ankle accessories."

"Yes Ma'am" She goes outside closes the door, and comes right back in. Shoes come off gracefully and are set on the floor. Her top is pulled off, exposing her exquisite breasts, and folded on top of the shoes. Finally she wriggles of out her skirt and places it neatly folded on her top. She kneels, and places her hands behind her head.

"Good girl" I pat her head the way you would pet and obedient dog. I unclip the leash I had around my waist like a belt and hook it to her collar. "Follow. On all fours." I lead her to the center of the living room. Reaching into my toy bag I extract a set of nitrile gloves and put them on. "Usually I don't need these, but your an especially dirty girl" Making someone feel like an object is an art. Few things do it better than an inspection. "Inspect" She stands up and places her hands at her neck. I run my hands through her hair, touch her ears. My left hand reaches out and grabs the hollow of her cheeks and forces her mouth open. I look inside, stick a finger in and brush it over her teeth like she is a farm animal up for sale. I move my hands down, feel her arms and move to her breasts, cupping them in my hands, and rubbing my thumbs over the nipples, elicited a sharp intake of breath. I move down to her hips, and run a finger across her pussy lip before feeling her legs.

"Everything seems to be in order,” I proclaim. "However, you've been very, very bad, and I will have to punish you for this. Do you understand?"

"Yes Ma'am"

"What are you being punished for?" I ask

"For being late, and wearing underwear when told not to Ma'am" She says

"Good girl. Get on all fours facing the couch." I say on my way to the fridge. I pull my Kroger bag out of the fridge and grab a paring knife and some plastic wrap. I sit on the couch and face her, taking my surprise out of the plastic wrap. "Do you know what this is?"

"No Ma'am" She says, confused.

I start to carve it with a knife, not even looking at her. "It's ginger. It's your punishment. I have a small plug of ginger completed, and start on the second one. "You'll love it" I wink. The second plug is completed. I get behind her and slowly work the first plug into her anus. It's small, so it slips right in. The second one I slid into her waiting cunt. "Someone is wet." I grab her hair. "Dirty, Dirty slut." as I slide it home. I rolled the plastic wrap around her hips a couple of times, and then in between her legs to hold everything in. "Does it hurt?"

"No Ma'am"

"Good". I love the time delay effect of ginger. I take a minute to get going. I use the time to gag her in a secure head harness with interchangeable gags (Using the ball gag at this time). I have her roll over and connect her arm and leg cuffs to spreader bars. I can see her start to squirm. "Starting to burn a little?"

"Mmrmmphh!"

"Great! You just stay right there" I snicker. Reaching into my bag of tricks I pull out a jar Vicks, a pair of clover clamps, and a elastic strap. I rub my hands gently over her nipples, slowly brushing them against until I see her back slowly arch towards my hand when I pull away. Slowly I attach the clover clamps to her nipples. I attach the elastic strap to the leg spreader bar to put some downward tension, and her whimper into the gag. "Oh, we aren't done yet!" I scoop some Vicks out of the jar and coat her nipples, working around the clamps. I set my timer for 10 minutes.

At 3 minutes in the gentle moans start turning into screams, her face contorting. I place a pillow on top of the top spreader bar, and sit on it, cradling her head in my lap. "I know, I know it hurts. It hurts because you disobeyed, and did what I told you not to. Understand?" Her head nods in between sobs. "That's my good girl. It's going to be o.k., and you are going to learn you lesson, and never do that again.

5 minutes. Gentle whimpers. I take a few slivers of ginger and slide them under the plastic wrap and directly on to her clit, the plastic wrap pressing them into place. I hold her head and she tries to writhe away. The screaming starts again soon, and I pet her head, whispering in her ear the whole time, telling her why she is punished, and how she won't have to go through this again if she is a good girl.

8 minutes. Back to low moans. I take the tension off the nipple clamps, and look into her eyes. "Ready?"

"Mmpphrr !!!!!" She shakes her head violently.

"Too bad. I am!" I release the nipple clamps suddenly. She screams as her back arches and she jerks up, and the tears flow again and fad into whimpering.

Finally it's time. I use my shears to cut off the plastic wrap, remove the ginger, and use soothing cortisone wipes over her tortured pussy and ass. I can see she is dazed, floating. "There, it's all better. You where a very good girl, and took your punishment well."

My bag of tricks isn't done yet. I pull out my special toy. It's a Hitachi magic wand with a dildo fitted onto a rod that is strapped to the side of the magic wand. It's her dildo, bought for her so I don't have to worry about perpetually cleaning things. I put a cover on the magic wand, and plug it in. "Good girls get rewards." She is deliciously wet, and the dildo slides right into her. I hit the switch on the magic wand, and she jumps. Her eyes start to roll back in her head, and suddenly I can't tell whether the purring is coming from her, or the vibe pushed against her clit. I unclip her feet, and place the rod between the soles of her feet, so she can push it in and out. Instantly she starts to do so, and I smile.

I can't let her have all the pleasure. I straddle her and unbutton my top. Reaching back, I turn off the magic wand.

"Aaammmphhh!!" She grinds against the Hitachi.

I smack her face lightly. "You aren't getting off the pleasure, slut". Unfastening the front clip on my bra, I push my tits in her face, and she begins licking. At least she remembered that lesson: Anything put to you lips must be kissed, licked, or sucked, depending on what it is. I start to moans, and reach back to turn on the vibe. She is an expert, rolling her tongue around my nips exquisitely, and sucking while licking the tips. I feel her thrusting against the dildo with all her might. She was close...

I shut off the vibrator and got up. "Enjoy?"

"MmAAA!!!"

I unclip the gag.

"Please Ma'am! Please turn it back on!?!?? Please !?!?" She pleads.

"Nope, sorry. I want you nice and horny for what's to come."

Next part two... shopping

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Sun, 26 Jun 2005 10:56:15 GMT

Feeling much better today. Raring to go, and swelling has decreased quite a bit, life is getting easier. Watched the last samuari and top gun. Usually can't stand Tom cruise. But I don't have anything else today. Tommorrow stitches get removed. looking forward to that like a root canal. But hopefully I'll be able to get around more.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Thu, 23 Jun 2005 07:18:36 GMT

Got unpacked. I'm in my hotel. Tired, but can't sleep. Homesick. I miss you baby, more than I can express. Once I thought I saw something that was miki (orange towel) and I cried.

Peeing is hard. I don't know when I'm about to pee until I do it. And I'm so swollen it runs everwhere, over sensitive parts. No pain, but like someone ran a spray of cold water over your clit and lips times 100. I pretty much open my mouth and go "woooowww, and stare at the ceiling.

As soon as my legs mend, and i get my final checkup, I'm going to call delta and brow beat them into giving me an earlier flight home.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Thu, 23 Jun 2005 07:15:19 GMT

Trip log:
(I kept this on a temp live journal account for easy access)

Not dead yet. Last 24 hours in hospital, I think. Tommorrow I get "unpacked", and get the second drain pulled out. Walking down the hallway I'm pretty weak. I've lost 8 pounds as well (Yah) out of 288 (Boo!) I haven't been eating as much. I now associate being overweight with a tremendous amount of unimaginable nerve pain dulled into submissive barely by narcotics. i'm going to eat ramen noodle at the hotel, and work out in the pool, and then move on to other things when I can. Oh, getting the first drain pulled out? I can only describe it as WTF feeling of the century... like a long plastic line snake alongside you vagina, yanked , pain for a second, and then the weirdest feeling of 8" or so pulled out. I'm sure the second one will be worse. Oh, and I've been having the most erotic dreams. I think it's the painkillers. Not the hard must have lust of testosterone, more of a warm rosy Mmmmmm.... Just a little fucking annoying when you can't do anything about it. Tommorrow's todo: Get unpacked. Hit bank, if alive Get cotton balls, naproxen sodium/brufen and water at the store. Pass out in hotel after taking 800mg of anti-inflamatories.
Tuesday, June 21st, 2005
2:41 pm	Eek The last few days have been a blur. The first day lulled me into a false sense of security. Lot's of pain in my legs, and then they started giving me the pain killers when the pain hit. Oh, my god. The beginning of a 2 day lichenstien/picasso nightmare. I swear... the halucinations. The pain faded, and the room flew apart into many different pieces and rejoined impossibly. .... Scenes from the room seperated into seperate colors and dots. That would fade, the pain would come back, and the nurse would come, repeat several times. What a fucking trip. Off them for now. Had a drain removed and tommorrow, i can get up and wander around the room !!! The next day I get to leave unless something unexpected happens. Right leg still hurts. Dr. Just thinks it's swelling from the operation table bruising not a blood clot, so I'm glad, and excercising it. Very sensitive too when he's been cleaning things, so glad there as well. (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 19th, 2005
7:15 am	At last Post op at last. They came and took me up for surget about 4:30, and I started to get really, really nervous. My teeth were chattering, I was trying to small. Went went down the O.R. after they reversed my gown. The Anesthesioligist that was there, some older guy, was replaced with a younger women I felt more comfortable with. At the last minute they agreed to go with epidural, and sedation. She had me roll over on my side for the epidural and said, now I will put you to sleep. One syringe, then another, both clear. Nothing happened Then a syringe larger than well, anything, was hooked up, white, and it was connected. I don't even remember going out. I just woke up, and the room was spinning and I felt really ,really drugged. Nauseous but not sick. They gave me medicine for everything, and Penthadine (Synthetic morphine) that's like alot more powerful than the real thing but feels like ass. And benydril, and tylenol. Lot's of itches. My feet are still numb from the lithotomy position putting pressure on my nerves since I am a bit overweight. Eventually I was moved into my room at about 12:00 after falling in and out of conciousness. Jaruwan and the nurse from the clinic came and took a look at me, and checked up to make sure I was doing well. I have a bougqet of flowers that say happy birthday Jessica. I'll treasure those forever. I feel pretty good... most of the bad feeling was the pain killers... at 6:00 last night the anesthesialogist came in, and checked my feet, and said it would fade, and would check on them again tommorrow... I can feel things, like pain and tingly, but nothing else She will take another look at them tommorrrow, then seem to be getting better incrimentaly. She also gave me epidural morphine that was cold... This was the weirdest thing ever... I just started to get this feeling of peace and no pain thorought my body starting from the bottom to the top, and when it hit me brain, boy... I was completely high drifting in and out of warm sleep and conciousness. The pain isn't that bad. More of a dull ache, and i think they kept me medicated for the worst of it. Lot's of itching, but I guess that means it's healing. (4 Comments \|Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 15th, 2005
5:54 pm	Shopping I found a plus size clothing shop, and was able to get some miniskirts, and a long skirt, and a couple of loose tops to deal with the heat. It's killer. Killer, killer. I have made a semi-organized retreat to my hotel room, and have dialup internet going. I do need an extension cord, so i'll have to find one around somewhere. I have power adapters as well, as long as the hotel doesn't have 240V power... I'll need something special for that, but my laptop charges just fine off of the hotel power. I also purchases a small money purse. Eek. 48 hours to go. Exactly. 40 some till hospital checkin. Crazy. Crazy, Crazy. (Comment on this)
5:50 pm	Homesick or something. I was going to cry. I feel alien here... well I am, LOL. But it's really starting to hit home. All the girls here are impossibly thin... size 2 really as big as they get. I can't find any clothes here, but i'm looking yet again at the MBK market in a few minutes with Jaruwan... I feel better around her because she knows her way around, and can speak the language as well. I need to get an alarm clock, and hopefully we'll find one there. i need a tailor still. I'll find one later If I can't get anything at mBK. Really need that wire of money from Jen... I'll have to make sure I send that email. Also need dialup internet, but the ones I say where on floppies for the clients, so I need to do that etc. I'm a bit scared to. I met the Dr., he was young, but knowledgable, and has a good technique to handle the scars, and says that I can get 5 inches. Fuck... I really hope this isn't the last post I'm going to write. He knew about the Malignant Hyperthermia, and is having the anesthesiologist prepare the dantrolene, and is giving me the full G.A. 48 hour. Fark. Less than that till I check in. I can just feel a major cry coming on tonight. Six days in bed... I need a power adapter. I brought video games as well for the computer... I hope my hospital room has a tv like the one here... they have HBO, and shuffle through a few other american channels as well. Might find a showing of Mr. and Ms. Smith and take that in if I can find one of the six places they are shown in english without dubbing. There might be one around the corner.... Did I mention that everyone her is thin? If I wasn't so addled on learning languages, i would become a motorcycle messenger, and sweat off 100 pounds in a month. I think the process of becoming motorcycle taxist/delivery person, they graft on an extra large set of balls, and lobotomize the part of the brain that feels fear, and hype them up on speed. They are truely insane. I've only seen a couple of women doing this work, and I think they are "Thom" - Butch Dykes. Oh, did I mention that all the little size 2 girls run around in miniskirts and tight tops? And most of them are uniforms? And I have plenty of T flowing through my system? Jeez I wish someone would just cut my balls off... oh, wait (Comment on this)
5:38 pm	To those about to drive, I salute you !! Driving in Bangkok is much like a sort of valium laced road rage, only without the decreased reactions time. I will attempt to explain the process of becoming a taxi driver: 1. Get a taxi driving permit. I'm pretty sure the permits are actually a contagious disease... stand around long enough and one will just fly into your car and paste itself onto the dash, regardless of your abilities. There is no known cure, except for fatal vehicular accident. 2. Watch the "Road Warrior", "Bullit", and "Ronin" for driving tips. If on a motorcycle, take note of the chase in "The great escape" This knowledge will prove invaluable later. 3. Meditate, and hone your mind to the point where you can ignore any, and all lane makers. Oh, and if there is no one in the oncoming lane at this exact second, feel free to use the right most one. Sidewalks will also do in a pinch if your a motorcyclist. 4. Actually, any ridable surface will do if you are a motorcyclist, and there is enough room for you. 5. Enough room means that you can physically squeeze the vehicle in the space, don't worry about things like safe following distance, etc. If you get to close, you'll feel it. 6. Buy a few gold images/statues of Buddha to place in the vehicle, because you are going to need his help ! 7. Lights are more of a suggestion than a rule. 8. Remains calm at all times, and smile. Remember, you are having "Sanook!" -ed: Fun. 9. Forcing drivers and motorcyclist out of the lane is Sanook! Repeat as often as possible. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 14th, 2005
12:12 pm	Thailand I'm at the MTf surgery center typing this on my laptop They have free wifi. A person picked me up at the airport... I can't remember her name, but she was really nice, at the front of the line, and had a sign with my name on it and everything. It was really cool. They helped me with my bags to the car, and we talked about shopping, and the schedule. In about 2 hours I should be seeing the Dr. for my consult, sign over checks etc. And then I wait until Friday morning to check into the hospital about 10:00, and surgery will be at about 5:00 depending on if the others run longs, etc. It's very hot and humid here. It's o.k., I have plenty of water, but I am going out with the person (Need to get her name) and finding some sarongs later today, the heat is just killer. Make sure you drink plenty of water if you come here. Oh, and don't even think about driving without a sanction from God, blessing from a cadre of buhddist priest and a will filled out. I admire the skill of the driver that picked me up at the airport last night... he really did well to navigate the traffic with all the motorcycles, cars, and other... things on the road. The city is different. Kinda of a Central line of tall bulding (probably following the coast) with endless urban sprawl. Slums jut right up against very nice buildings. All banks, etc, hotel, have security guards outside of them... I don't notice an violence, but it makes me feel safer. Eek. I was just told that I will go to the bank now to pay for the rest of my surgical fee. Goodbye money !!!! (6 Comments \|Comment on this)
11:12 am	Oh, and the the long haul flight The 747 was great. Roomy, had a seat between myself and a lady that claimed she worked for the military. Slept a fair bit... They sure do take an odd route here... It goes up to alaska, over, and down over the kamchatka penninsula. I guess it's a shorter distance there than at the equator? Inchon was very , very nice. clean, no armrest so I could lay down. Everyone was very courteous. 777 out of Inchon I arrived in Thailand and cleared passport control, got my bags, and cleared customs in short order. After clearing customs, the heat came down on me like a million pound soggy heated towel. It's hot, and humid. You are always sweating lightly, and drinking water. I have been drinking water like mad and haven't had to pee, so I know it's going into the air. I'm starting to like it. The sun is out, it's warm, the city smells nice, and I should be able to do some sightseeing. There are outlets in my hotel room with combo style american and and thai plugs... they say 240 and 120 respectively. I'm not near brave enough to plug anything into it until I get a converter. Especially since they have the same plug type. Oh, and the outlet for the TV, hairdryer doesn't work. I'll talk to the hotel about that when I get back, and pay them. I also need to go to the store and get a few things, and go shopping with Jarawan when I get back for some looser clothing, and take stock of the cash I have left ($400 I think and some change. ) (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 12th, 2005
12:58 pm	SRS Diary June 11th: I'm in Detroits Mcnamera terminal. Very nice, very new. I wouldn't want to bag out here, the chairs have armrests, but they are comfy. They do loose major points for not having Wifi at B20, so that's a mark down, but It could be worse. I'm excited about the trip.. very excited. A little scared. I've been waiting for this all my life, and I'm making the first part of my journey. I think that the hardest part will be L.A. It will take all my strength to not get a hotel. i've decided if I can get a hotel for $35 or less, and the ride there is free, I'll do it. I have to pick up my bags at L.A., so I'll have to check them anyways. Atlanta: Decent Restrooms, no moving walkways. They moved my plane.... in an insanely long terminal that delta takes up A terminal, B terminal, and god knows what else. Oh, and the moving walkways in the tunnel from terminal to terminal ? Broke on my side half the way. Delta does have a cool rest and recharge area where you can charge your gizmo's and use t-mobile wifi. Yogurt from the oasis was good, but the blueberries were a little under ripe. I was hoping for a widebody jet for the trip to atlanta, now I regret this, totally. This widebody... well, semi widebody 2-3-2 setup, is cramped. Less leg room than the other jet. The other jet was cozy compared to this. I hope I'm not stuck on one of these overseas. Million dollar baby is on... It seems pretty good. Day 2: LA sucks. It's smells, and looks like a neglected carnival that exists to trap people for nefarious purposes. Someone asked my questions at my hotel aimed at seeing if I was alone, and grabbed my tit. I tossed them against the elevator wall by there throat and out into the lobby where the koreans behind the desk proceeded to open a can of whoopass on him until he agreed to wait until the cops arrived... not all asians know martial arts, but I'm thankful that these did. Cops were nice, and it was resolved after a statement and an arrest. Took a lorazapam to sleep and drown out the continuous noise of the cop cars. This whole coastal area needs to be nuked. Endless urban sprawl and crime, it's a real shithole. I can't wait to get the hell out of here. Note to self: I no longer desire to go to Southern Cali, ever, ever, every fucking again. Complete shithole. I can't understand why everyone is dying to get here... LAX, as well sucks. Free wifi, but it's really run down in most places, and just plain badly layed out. I am however waiting for a nice 747-400 to begin boarding where I will taken to Inchon, Seoul one of the worlds cleanest and most beutifal airports.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Sun, 15 May 2005 00:57:00 GMT

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you."

She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

He says, "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have anal sex with a nun."

She responds, "Well, I can probably help you with that. Are you single? And you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!"

The nun says, "OK, pull into the next alley."

He does and the nun fulfils his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?" "Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin, and I'm on my way to a Halloween party."

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Sat, 06 Nov 2004 07:51:41 GMT

It is difficult to keep a house or apartment clean, but a lot of it is simple maintainence. For example, if one spills cat food, get out the vacuum. When you leave a room, look around for any dishes or trash and take them to the kitchen or put them in the trash. If there a lot of dishes in the sink, put them in the dishwasher. If the dishwasher is full, find a towell and dry them. If you empty a container, throw it out instead of leaving it on the counter or putting it back in the refridgerator.

"
Don't play high and might now... you drop everything you put your hands on, and leave fast food wrappers all over the place, and work stuff that hasn't been used in weeks. I was getting to the cat food... btw, you left the sweeper out so I could trip over it, so it's one step forward, one step back for you.

Sunday, October 31, 2004

Sun, 31 Oct 2004 04:09:34 GMT

We had a party. I really liked helping, even though I was tired. Cats kept me up, and I couldn't sleep for no reason. So I was tired. No one played with me, but I have future play dates... I'm not all there, mentally due to no sleep.

One person hurt her foot. Paz was a dear and took her to the hospital. They hurt it coming in. Someone else car was missing/towed. I don't know. It's there fault, they didn't park where I told them to.

Everyone had a good time, and that was the most important part. I can throw a kick ass party !