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Name: Deborah
Country: United States
State: Georgia
Metro: Atlanta


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Member Since: 8/11/2005

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Friday, November 11, 2005

This is my last post to this blog.  I guess it's my xanga suicide note. 

A chapter of my life has ended, and so shall this blog.  I'll be starting a new one somewhere, and if you've been a faithful reader and xangan, I'll be sure to visit your weblog and leave you a comment.  But for here and now it's farewell! 

Blessings attend thee.


Saturday, November 05, 2005


In Country, U.S.A.

I arrived early Thursday morning in ATL asking myself "what now?" as I sat in the baggage claim area for several hours waiting for a friend to pick me up. It was good to be back in the state of Georgia in some ways, but I was in not a good state physically or mentally.  I suppose so many hours of travel and crossing so many time zones could have that effect on anyone, especially coming out of the culture and situation I had been in for the last eight months.

Amazingly enough, I got a good night's sleep Thursday (last) night, and today made phone calls to a few people to let them know my whereabouts and my general state of being.  The whereabouts are good, the general state of being is not so good.  But, I'm alive.  And God is still on the Throne. 


Friday, October 28, 2005


UPDATED with photo and more info below....


What would you (or Jesus) do?

I'm in a situation where I'd like some serious feedback from those of you who read me.  I believe I'm at a place where I need to confront an issue by action and it is uncomfortable for me. 

I have a contract with the school where I work and the private school that hired me.  Together they represent Party A.  Anna is the person who is my direct boss and the leader of the private school.  She speaks English and communicates everything between Party A and me.  Party A is supposed to pay my salary, provide necessary living and working conditions, provide two hours of Chinese lessons per week among other things.  I, as Party B, am supposed to teach whatever they require of me up to 24 hours a week. 

Now, the situation is this:  Party A has not been providing Chinese lessons for me for over three months.  I don't think this is a serious violation, but none the less it is a violation or a breach of some sort.  I have brought it to the attention of Anna but nothing has been done to correct it.  All she can do is talk to the school leaders about it since this is ultimately the school's responsibility.  She is responsible for the private school end of things.  Now, since the beginning of October, I have had no consistent running water.  To me, this seems like a violation of the contract again.  Party A is not providing necessary living conditions.  That's how I see it.  So, here are two violations of the contract.  Anna is aware of the situation and even says she is disappointed with the school for not doing many of the things they said they will do when they say they will do it.  (There are other minor things I won't go into in addition to the above.)  It's now the nearing the end of October and most of the month I have not had running water. 

Last night and this morning, I mulled over the idea that I should not teach on the days when I wake up and find I have no running water.  I had thought about it before, but I had a bad attitude about it so I didn't really consider it.  I thought I should be willing to sacrifice running water.  I'm willing to sacrifice, but that's not the real issue here.  I made sacrifices just to be here.  The real issue is about justice and righteousness and how to allow justice and righteousness to prevail.  My daily Bible reading this morning confirmed this. 

The decision to not teach when I have no water seems like my only recourse at this point since I have brought the situation to Party A's attention.  That, or else take Party A to court and I really don't want to go there.  So, I'm trying this approach to see if anything will be done now.  I really feel very uncomfortable with this because I love teaching the students, first of all, and secondly, it is confrontational and may inconvenience the other English teachers.  But maybe this will motivate them to confront the leaders, too.   My hope is by taking this stance that justice and righteousness will prevail.

This morning, I woke up to no running water.  I notified Anna via email and called the lead teachers and told them I wouldn't be teaching today.  Only one of them had already made other plans and begged me to teach today.  So for her class I went to the classroom and we had a brief discussion about contracts. I got the students to try to verbalize (in English, of course) their ideas about what they would do if they were in my situation.  Most of them were clueless.  One of them said I should go to the public shower (where there is no privacy at all.)  One of them said I should talk to the leaders and wait a few days.  I asked him how many days I should wait, but he had no idea. One of them said it is a serious problem but they (the students) don't have a solution. One of them said Party A should pay me more money.  One of them said I should take Party A to court.  After this brief discussion, I let them just have the rest of the period as a study hall and told them what to prepare for next week in the event I have running water.  The other lead English teachers covered the other classes.

Anyway, my question to my readers is this:  what would you do if you were in my situation or what do you think Jesus would do?   If you answer from Jesus' perspective, please provide scripture references.  Also, keep in mind I'm in China and don't speak the language fluently (just in case you want me to take it to court.)  Plus, if I take it to court, Anna would be negatively impacted and that's not fair to her because I believe she has done everything possible to get the school leaders to uphold their end of the contract.

I'm looking forward to hearing what you (or Jesus) has to say.

Thanks! 


Yesterday, someone brought a large container and left it outside my apartment door.  This morning, one of the workers brought the container into my bathroom and began filling it with the collected rainwater which is stored on the roof.  This is the same water which my toilet uses.  Fortunately, I have always had this water for flushing my toilet. 

Below is a photo of the large container now in my bathroom.

You can see the bathtub, my kettle and my basin which I use for bathing.  The pipes and water heating system are quite complicated, thus the extra hoses.  I have been collecting the bottled water in the kettle, heating it up, putting it in the blue basin, then collecting more so that I have two kettlefulls of water for sponge bathing.  Usually it's enough.  But it's not the same as a regular shower or bath. 

I'm not sure what I'm going to use the water in the large container for.  I was told not to bathe with it or drink it because it's not clean.  Maybe I can clean my floors with it.

I'm still hoping for more feedback here.  Prayers would be good, too.   Thanks again.


Wednesday, October 26, 2005


Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons.

I Timothy 4:1 (NKJV)

...reject profane and old wives' fables, and exercise yourself toward godliness.

I Timothy 4:8
(NKJV)


Ahh yes!  Your Word, O God, is a lamp unto my feet!  Not xanga blogs written by people who preach their own version of the gospel.

I have to tell you, I've been exposed to too many false prophets in my life and I can almost smell them.  Sometimes it takes a while to sort them out.  They come to you and say, "I understand."  "I know how it is."   It's only bait to lure you in.  No thanks.  Been there, done that.  Often they appear like gentle, loving sheep, when they are actually wolves!  (Matt. 7:15)  There's always a bit of truth to those deceivers, but if you look closely enough you'll see the lies mixed.  Usually the lies sound pretty appealing to the flesh.

All scripture is God-breathed.  Very few xanga sites are.

And October is a wonderful month for these sheep in wolves clothing to make their move.  Don't be deceived!  Be on guard!  If you know the scripture, you will be able to identify the lies, so stay in the Word!  The Word of God.  The Holy Bible.  The Good Book that preaches Christ!


OK.  I feel much better now. 

 


Monday, October 24, 2005


Scarred with Cracks

Determination to be faithful to
my God, and His higher commands: love Him
above all, and others like I do me,
which means I must love me and that's so hard.
How can I love me inspite of myself?
Take care of myself I know I must, do
all the things I need to do to keep this
earthen vessel Water filled yet stay scarred
with cracks that leak Living Water into
the soil of others' gardens upon seeds
sown, perhaps dormant, unyet sprouted through
lack of nurture or true knowledge of Thee.
The soil and the life can seem much too rough,
yet Your loving touch makes beautiful be.

© 2005 Deborah Y. Bennett



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