|
alkaline3rocks
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Country: United States
State: Minnesota
Gender: Female
Interests: Hanging out with my friends, watching Sex and the City, pong, kings, flip cup...
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
12/3/2003
|
|
| So yeah... its a Thursday night... I actually had a really fun night just hanging out last night. There is something about a drink on a Wednesday that makes the week seem that much more bearable. And only a week and a half until Thanksgiving and then two weeks after I go home and this semester is almost over!!! What can I say, its been a great time, maybe the third best on record (after this summer and fall of freshman year). I am, therefore, kind of sad that this semester is ending... I mean... I'm sure next semester will be fun too, but it won't be the same. I think that I have a problem in dealing with change. I just can't let things end and I cannot say good bye to things. I get too attached to the way things once were and I spend a lot of time wishing that things were like that again. But they can never be like that again, they can never be the same. Its time to move on and embrace what the future holds... and I have done this more and more. I'm not saying that I do not still think about things, because I still do way to often than I would like to admit, and I still cry about things, again a little too often. But at least now, I'm at that point where I can move on, where I can be interested in other people and where I can see that maybe something good can happen to me again... maybe the future isn't hopeless. Maybe I can find the ever elusive thing called happiness. However, I have decided that if I am to ever be happy, that it must come from within me. Looking to others to find value in myself can only lead to disappointment and unhappiness. I really cannot control anything that happens to me externally I have decided, what I can control though, is how I react internally to it and therefore, that is where I need to start. So, its a project that I am working at and that I will continue to work at for a while. I might just need to totally change my attitude to myself. That might be a first step. But I am looking forward to a couple of fun weekends... I live for the weekend... really... that is definitely the focal point of my week. The weekdays just give me time to recover. | | |
| This is from Andrea's live journal and I'm bored... so I'm filling it out instead of studying for philosophy...
1. What color pants are you wearing? khaki
2. What are you listening to right now? the general by dispatch and cute without the e by taking back sunday
3. What are the last 4 digits of your phone number? which one? 1124, 1161 or 6871 depending
4. The Last thing you ate? mini hershey's kisses and diet pepsi
5. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? red-orange
6. What is the weather right now? i haven't been out in a while... i think its nice out
7. Last person you talked to on the phone? my daddy just called
8. Do you like the person who sent you this? stole it from andrea's LJ... but i love andrea... yay!
9. How are you today? well... i have been up for all of four hours... but its gone well so far... a little stressed possibly
10. Favorite Drink? beer or diet coke, maybe apple juice
11. Favorite Alcoholic Drink? beer, bud light or mgd... but i'm not picky
12. Favorite sport? cheerleading to participate in, hockey to watch
13. Hair Color: blonde
14. Eyes? greenish/bluish/grayish
15. Do you wear contact lenses? no... i have glasses that i never wear though
16. Siblings and their ages? Ted, 22, Charlie, 15
17. I don't know what #17 is so make it up! I could go for a bagel right now...
18. Favorite Day of the Year? Christmas because my entire family comes over and its fun
19. Are you too shy to ask someone out? it depends how much i have been drinking... usually no
20. Summer or Winter? summer
21. Relationships or one night stands? damn... i dunno... ideally relationships... but things don't usually work out that way... how about long-term hookups? I'm not a one night stand type of person either...
22. Chocolate or vanilla? depends on my mood... usually chocolate
23. Do you want your friends to write back? yes... why would i write to them if I didn't?
24. Occupation? i'm a full time student
25. What books are you reading? I'm reading two books right now... The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera and Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman
27. What's on your mouse pad? don't have one
28. Favorite board game? Life or Monopoly... but Mall Madness is really fun to play too when I'm at Vick's house
29. What did you do last night? I hung out with people in Ben's room... it was fun... drank some... listened to Jeff play the guitar... he was really good... it was a fun night.. real chill...
30. Favorite smell: burning matches/candles... its odd I know...
31. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? I just tried and failed miserably
32. What inspires you? the beauty in the world...
33. Buttered, plain or salted? i take it we are talking about popcorn... lots of butter and some salt
34. Favorite Car? Jaguar 1956 Roadster... the one in Cruel Intentions
35. What time do you wake up in the a.m.? ideally never in the a.m.... but usually 10
36. GOLD OR SILVER? silver or platinum
37. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA? such a funny movie... Harold and Kumar go to White Castle...
38. FAVORITE TV SHOWS? What Not To Wear, Family Guy, X-Files back in the day when it was good, Newlyweds, Simple Life, pretty much any reality dating type show... (ie. for love or money, who wants to marry my dad... i'm a sucker for those)
39. WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST? diet coke and maybe skittles
40. YOU HATE TO BE LEFT IN A ROOM WITH: candy... i buy three bags a day and eat them...
41. WHAT'S YOUR MIDDLE NAME? Alice... My full name is actually elizabeth alice
42. BEACH, CITY, OR COUNTRY? beach
43. FAVORITE ICE CREAM? phish food... or vanilla with hot fudge, strawberries and whipped cream on top... strawberry ice cream is good too when it has hot fudge on top... I really don't like ice cream as much as hot fudge...
44. FAVORITE COLOR? pink, red, orange and black
45. FAVORITE SANDWICH? peanut butter and jelly... I get it every time I go to panera or jason's deli...
46. BELIEVE IN LOVE? i have to hope so... otherwise... there isn't really much purpose in life
47. CHARACTERISTICS YOU DESPISE? dishonesty and not standing up for one's convictions
48. HAD A BIG WIN IN THE LOTTERY, HOW LONG WOULD YOU
WAIT TO TELL PEOPLE? the moment I found out a choice group would know... and then I would go into to a private island and party...
49. DRINK FIZZY WATER OR STILL WATER? i like cold water with no ice
50. WHAT IS YOUR BATHROOM LIKE? the one here is disgusting... I'm sharing it with 8 people so it smells and i prefer to spend as little time as possible in it... at home... its off white and quite nice with large mirrors
51. WHERE WOULD YOU RETIRE TO? the Florida keys
52. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? Saturday
53. WHITE OR RED WINE? white
54. DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD? I used too... I know I'm the universal donor... but I can't give blood because I gave it once and passed out... I don't weigh enough to give blood
55. WHAT DID YOU DO ON YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? i had a stomach ulcer so I watched sex and the city and ate chocolate cake that I wasn't susposed to have...
Last Alcoholic Drink: cranberry juice and absolut vanilla
Last Car Ride: on the way back from Midtown with Rachel
Last Kiss: a few hours ago...
Last Good Cry: Wednesday night
Last Library Book: Mahatma Gandhi (it was for religion class)
Last book bought: Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs (its a critique of pop culture...)
Last Book Read: Fathers and Sons by Turgenev, I'm a sucker for 19th century Russian novels
Last Movie Seen in Theatres: Harold and Kumar go to White Castle
Last Movie Rented: i have no idea...
Last Cuss Word Uttered: damn...
Last Beverage Drank: diet pepsi
Last Food Consumed: mini hershey kisses
Last Crush: i think that everyone knows... so I'm not going to put that... because he might read this later...
Last Phone Call: my daddy
Last TV Show Watched: some music videos on MTV
Last Time Showered: this afternoon when after I woke up
Last Shoes Worn: my black flip-flops
Last CD Played: dispatch bang-bang
Last Item Bought: dinner last night
Last Download: the early november or taking back sunday
Last Annoyance: studying philosophy sucks
Last Disappointment: I'm not going to say...
Last Soda Drank: diet pepsi
Last Thing Written: philosophy study guide
Last Key Used: to get into my room
Last Words Spoken: 5922 (the code storage...)
Last Sleep: i got nine hours of sleep last night in a certain someone's room... (I sleep better with others)
Last Ice Cream Eaten: maggie moo's when I went there on monday with rachel and kathleen
Last Chair Sat In: the chair at my desk
Last Webpage Visited: andrea's LJ | | |
| Well... hmm... what has happened since Wednesday... I had a really good conversation that needed to happen and although I'm not the biggest fan of the outcome of it, I realized from the start that it was what was going to happen, so I am not suprised... I appreciate honesty... I think that it is the best quality that a person can have. Maybe because so many people are not honest...
Anyways, classes are over!!! So sad... I really enjoyed printmaking and that means that the summer is quickly coming to a close. Damn. This has been the best summer ever... thanks everyone for helping make that happen. I really dread having to go home, not because I don't like my home, I really do... but because I dread having to say goodbye. Goodbyes have never been easy for me... and this one might be particularly hard... however, I wouldn't change any of it if I could do it over... so that is a good thing. Maybe because goodbyes and endings seem so final and permanent...
Last night was fun.... the cheeseburger was excellent... I was so... I dunno... in an altered state. It was fun though... and I got an excellent nights sleep last night... I got twelve hours of sleep... how often does that happen? Well... I do always sleep better with someone else... so thanks letting me spend the night... I don't sleep very well by myself... that is not good.
Hmm... what else is newsworthy? I have two final exams, a take home and a portfolio due before I leave Tuesday... damn. I have been making progress is the packing area... hopefully I'll get it all done by Tuesday. If anyone wants to help me in the packing effort by driving me to storage... I would love you forever and probably buy you lunch or dinner of whatever... - - | | |
| Well... that last post was interesting... I got a 100 on my philsophy midterm... who does that? Like honestly... and he called me out in class and told me how long-winded his comments were on mine so I was flipping out that I did poorly... but his comments were like "you should have mentioned this... oh wait... further down the paragraph here it is..." and then I got it back and it made the 4.5 pages I wrote single-spaced worth it. I'm so proud of myself. I studied really hard.
Dinner with Stevie tonight... that was some interesting conversation... I don't know what to think or do... why is life so complicated? But I appreciate his concern and his advice... he is one of my best friends for a reason... he is that one person that I know I can call if I ever needed anything and he would drop everything and run. So, thanks Stevie... I appreciate the fact that you care cuz it seems like you are one of the few who truely do sometimes... I hope that you have a good time in Shanghi and don't worry about me... I'll be fine... I always manage somehow.
On another note, I really like June Spirit... check them out... I guess my favorite songs of theirs are Lost in Translation, On the Eighth Day and Waiting for Blue... its quality.
Well... the thought of three finals, one final portfolio and packing up my room is a scary thought. But more than that... I don't want the summer to end... I have had so much fun hanging out with everyone... its been quite the summer.
Life is complex and confusing... I'm not so sure that I like it. But I'm also not so sure what to do about it... so maybe I will sleep it off... sleep... that is a nice thought... but it can be overrated sometimes. I have decided that I don't feel like pouring my heart out in my xanga post tonight... maybe tomorrow tonight... but we'll have to see. - | | |
| It was a pretty good weekend... it was a lot of fun. I saw the village on Friday night and then hung out with Katie and Kathleen. Saturday brought harold and kumar's trip to whitecastle, a cookout and going clubbing in Greensboro. That was ridiculous! Sunday was breakfast with the girls at Midtown and then off to Greensboro again for shopping and a three hour dinner at a fondu restaurant. It was absolutely great! We tried on mumus at the shopping center and our waiter made the most sarcastic comments to us at the restaurant... we were acting like we were insane. I licked the bowl on a dare... it was such a good dinner with such great company... I love you guys!
I'm going to miss Rachel and Kathleen so much next semester, it has been such a great summer and it is quickly coming to an end. But all things must end at some point. I ended something else tonight as well... I mean... I know that some people don't like it when I get emotional in my posts or when I talk about things and they like to comment to me about it and they think I'm insane or whatever... I know that I am slightly crazy.... but who isn't? This is my online journal and I can write what I want. I need to figure out some things... I'm sad that it had to end, but it was time for it to be over. Things change, situations change, people change and life moves on and things fade away. I have to live life without regrets and I don't regret anything... I live for the moment and take what is dealt. And it no longer seems right, I need to move on. After four and a half months of being single, I am finally ready to move on. I need to move out of the crazy I'm single again stage and be a bit more rational. I need to find someone who makes me happy because I deserve to be happy. But life is complicated and it fucks you sometimes... some things are just ironic. The timing of things are evil sometimes... but you have to live for the moment, life is too short not to take in every moment as it comes. I'm not sure what exactly is going on with another situation... I just know how I feel and that is really all I can come to know as true. I feel like I have to take risks in order to find happiness... even if that means a lot of pain. I feel like I am about to get hurt, and I probably will... but that is a chance I will have to take... I'll get hurt either now or later so I might as well enjoy it while it lasts. I just wish that life was easier or I knew how it was going to end so I wouldn't worry about it now.
This sounds so stupid... but I worry that I will never find anyone who makes me happy... well... I believe that I have found people that have made me happy... but for some reason or other things never work out. Usually it has to do with timing, but that is life. I refuse to marry someone who doesn't make me happy, but I'm worried that I will become one of the cat ladies who never gets married. What if I never find anyone... that is really scary to me. I guess its really scary cuz I know people who are getting married or who have found that right person... what if that right guy has already missed me... damn... I sound way to psychotic. Oh well... if things are susposed to work out they will... otherwise... I have to have faith. Its funny that I try to have faith aht I will find the right guy, but I don't work as hard at having faith in God... kinda sad actually.
Well... I think that is enough of that for tonight... if you think that you were being referenced... don't assume anything... maybe you were and maybe you weren't... but there is a lot going on in my life right now and for the most part it is vague so don't assume that you know what I am talking about. | | |
|
