whoa. its been too long on this one. kick ass.

<3

Currently Playing Room on Fire By The Strokes see related

new place...

IM me or email me for me info.

if you even care.

qhy am i only cool when im quiet and dont say how i feel? Why is it nessecary to hate me? Why cant you take my opinon into concideration? WHY AM I SUCH A FUCKING CUNT?

anyway if you wanna see the new place let me know... i still check the comments here so i will reply or whatever.

sorry about the rant. I get emotional when i cry.

Currently Watching The Virgin Suicides By Kirsten Dunst, Josh Hartnett see related

i have been a member of xanga for 155 days now. You guys have read every boring detail of my life. Actually, i guess its not that boring. It reminds me of degrassi cause everything is so dramatized and bad things happend one after another to keep you guys on your toes. Maybe i should start writing my xangas in a form of a movie script. I have always wanted to write a screen play.

O.

M.

GGGGGGGGG!G!GG!G!

you guys! i was asked to record with 2 bands this week alone! Some kids found out i play violin so i will be recording over them with my small instrument cause they all play LOUD AND BIG ones. My violin rocks WAYYYYY harder though. I will be recording with band #1 on Saturday and i dont know much about Band #2 (Underground Notes) they sound alot like Sonic Youth mixed with a million times more feedback. its awesome.

Jon and i are on good terms i guess. Im still way sad when ever i think about him but its hard to stay mad at him. Stupid kid and his cute self. If i could get outta everything i did by just standing there i would be in good shape. Instead...i lose.

Today im going to practice again nad KUHFIUHF guess what else! I finaly found out what to do with my 1st art drawing. Its a repeat of the strokes logo in boxes and in differnt bright colors. I remind myself of the next Andy warhol. Thats right. Its time for a new warhol. That would be me.

i got the pictures of my hair back. As soon as i can mingle my way to a scanner i will post them. It actually doesnt look as bad as i remember...or maybe i am lying to myself who knows.

Band- Led Zepplin....hotototototttttttttt
SOng- X-tina and The STrokes. hahah so funny.
Bad Song- im guessing the one above is bad too
Quote- Im thinking of the Riverdance one said by nick. i laughed and thats shocking cause i was in tears at the time

oh and by the way thanks to EVERYONE that left something encouraging. Im trying my hardest to comment back but its hard. I work all the time and shit...But i love you all and you guys are my best mates. Even if i cant see you or anything...i keep my love on the d.l

i dont know what that means. i wrote another poem...i will post it soon.

<<<<<<<<<<3333333333 me and i want some questions you hoes. I NEED QUESTIONSSSS I THRIVE ON THEMMMMMMMM

Currently Playing Sha Sha By Ben Kweller wasted and ready see related

Yesterday i was debating on whether or not to drive my car into a tree. I was three feet away from my drivers seat.

how did this all start you may be asking yourself....well....i know this is gonna make some people sad and upset with me but fuck it. Its my journal and if you dont like it, dont fucking read it. And its my way of telling the truth to my friends so fuck you.

1- jon. Yeah he is a wonderful kid but he lied to me, about an ex-girl friend he still has feelings for. its my buisness so i feel like i have a right to post this. but i wont go into all the gory details.

2- HUGGGE family fight. I almost SERIOUSLY murdered my brother. Im not fucking kidding. I held a knife up to his throat. Im sick of him. He punched me in the face and then twice in the arm. It really fucking hurt too.

3- friends- not all of them...just im sick off hanging out with people that have to do coke or smoke some pot when they hang out with me. I mean, am i bad company?? And besides that....im really sick of getting made fun of. Im REALLLLLY sick of that. I hate the fact that everytime i say something someone has to make a rude remark to me. FUCK THAT.

4- family in medical conditions. yeah, my cousin was in a car wreck and is under an induced coma and broke alot of shit. And my grandmother cant use her fucking arms. brilliant!!

5- car wreck. Nothing major, but i have to pay $100 bucks of a tiny scratch. You should see what it did to my car.

6- no one is intrested in the same things as i. It sucks. Besides Emily. new best friend.

7- im sick again. i havent told anyone though. Its like im coming out. It could turn into something serious.

8- My art. Im dropping the class because i have no artistic skills and i SUCK. i havent done any thing for the damn class.

meh thats enough of that. im sorry.

Thanks to everyone who left comments. It really means alot to me. Its just been hard. And ignoring it like i do isnt helping. Its making it worse. Im just sick of some people and things they do to me.

OHHHHH but i did find something that made me happy.....EXTREMLY HAPPY! there was this song i found when i was making a mix cd and

    THERE IS A STROKES SONG MIXED WITH CHRISTINA AGULERIA!!!!!!!

thats right, combine Hard to Explain and Genie in a bottle and you have got yourself a good time. And im not EVEN kidding. If i knew how to put it on my site i would. Or even get it on my computer.

i gained 2 pounds. woot woot.

alright must work....comments to everyone!!!!!!

Currently Watching Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen By Lindsay Lohan, Megan Fox see related

ch ch ch a check it out wha wha whah wha whats it all about? Fuck that song. Ok not really, i dont care that much.

i have decided steak sauce is the new ketchup and mustard. Dont try and change my mother fucking mind either. Some may say i have gone to far. I WILL TELL YOU WHEN I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!

and last nite (I said [clever eh?]) i most certainly did not have enough vodka to satisfy my craving. I almost threw up on that second chug-a-lug though. It was gross but then i just kept drinking it. Im such a fucking retard. It got the job half way done. I never ever get drunk enough though and im angry because of that. NOOOOOOOOOO

dreamsicle. bluebirds. I would give them to my friends. (the blue birds)

As you can tell this entry is very random. Alot of bad crap had happend. i wont bore you with the details, BUTTT i may just comment in some lucky peoples xangas a secret that they can naver share hhahahahahahah i cant wait i will get on that tonite!!! (im staying home tonite by the way)

i hit a car yesterday. It wasnt anything bad. damage = $100. not too bad...its money still....

New Cds.......

Adam Green- Friends of Mine...SEXXXX

The Hives- Tyrannosaurus Hives

Led Zepplin - Led Zepplin (or sex)

Sparta- Porcelain

The Stills- Logic will break your Heart

Franzy Ferdiandsy- i like to call them that

Pavement- Crooked Rain Crooked Rain

Coldplay- Rush of Blood to the Head

I think thats it. Thought i would share with you guys cause im hardcore like that.

More later i suppose?????

-----------------------------------------edit

so heres the deal. Im going to kill myself. No ifs ands or buts about this. I have no purpose here and im fucking sick of my family and my brother who beat the hell outta my arm today and im sick of my peers. Im sick of mind altering things. Im sick of pretending its all ok....so my solution? make it end so fuck life and fuck gjk rhdeitgerg

this is day 3 of crying non-stop. Dont you just love it?

Currently Playing Friends of Mine By Adam Green see related