| I can't wait till I get out of this place (MCAS Cherry Point, NC). I like a few people, but I only see them a couple times a week, and that's if I am lucky. The rest of the people suck and make me want to kill myself - except for one dude, he's cool. I'm serious. I'll be around them, then I will go to my friends house and turn from being tired/depressed, etc to happy, energetic and lively in about 10 min flat. What frustrates me about that is when I don't have the option of going and chilling with my decent friends because I want to make phone calls or something I just kinda clam up because I'm "in the brks." It's like the barracks has some sort of negative aura surrounding it that sucks everyone who is in the vicinity down into the depths of depression. That isn't just me talking by the way - it has been confirmed by many different people who share the same belief. Interesting website I found in two seconds of searching on Google:
http://www.usmc-mccs.org/suicideprevent/stats_faqs.cfm
Download the power point
I randomly looked through about a year (2003-2004ish) of old xga posts just a minute ago. Man I talked like a friggen' nerd. I don't even know what half that crap I said means anymore. I do think I finally got a couple dates down though. Days like Sept 13th and Nov 20th (the 20th is right, right???). The days when when I thought a month was a really long time. I can't even believe that I just spent six months in Iraq, have already been home for almost three months, and I am going to a completely new place in just 2 months! I consider nothing less than a year to be a long time anymore. That doesn't mean you can read into any of that and assume it take me a really long time to figure stuff out - all it means is that I can consider myself in "limbo" for upwards of 3-4 months. Limbo sucks btw. I feel like I can't do anything, can't get to know local friends better, can't meet new people. Why bother, you know? I'll be leaving in five weeks anyway? Whats the point? Couple that with the stupid powerful barracks "aura" and a long crappy work day and you got some volatile mix on your hands.
Bah. I've written to much. Take what you want, don't read into it to much. I really am better than reading into it makes me seem though. I would be better if I could actually get decent conversations with specific people (person.). 
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| yay! finally have internet in my room! the wonders a wireless card can achieve 
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| only a few more days....then i can leave this POS country behind.... edit... i dont think i'll be on the opposite side of the world from you all the next time i'm on the internet... (i really hate all this secrecy about when i am coming home....ask my mom if you want to know) |
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| got this song stuck in my head.... No more
No more are the days that I will
Fear for I have found a strength that
None can match and I'll push forward
Never has the blood in my viens
Flowed so fiercely as when i feel this around me
I am whole
I'm not alone
With the touch of your hand
I am whole again
I'm not alone
With the touch of your hand
I am whole again
Now I feel the passion burning
This what drives me further strengthens
My resolve to push me further
(and I believe, that I am not alone)
I'm not alone!
I'm not alone
With the touch of your hand
I am whole again
I'm not alone
With the touch of your hand
I am whole again
No more are the days that I will
Fear for I have found a strength that
None can match and I'll push forward
Now I feel the passion burning
This what drives me further strengthens
My resolve to push me further
I'm not alone (I'm not alone)
With the touch of your hand
I am whole again
I'm not alone (I'm not alone)
With the touch of your hand
I am whole again
(I am whole again)
(I am whole again)
i really cant wait till i'm back in the states.... |
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