| Sometimes it's so hard I know it's been a while since i wrote in this thing, but i thought it was about time to do so. Things were going great for a while with sara and i. I mean she wasn't talking to any of her old friends and she never even mentioned them. And then out of the blue Nate sends her a message, and then all of a sudden she misses them soooo much. she never said anything to me about missing them .. never. I think i would be more understanding to this maybe if she would have talked to me about it and told me she missed them. But she didn't so the whole time i was thinking that she was fine with not talking to them. And then she tells me that i ripped them away from her .. well listen you can bring the horse water, but you can't make him drink. i didn't make her do anything .. she wanted me so she picked me. so i just want her to stop saying i ripped them away from her, becuase i didn't. And then all the shit they talked on me .. i even saved the conversations and showed sara what was said. i guess we are just very different becuase i knwo if one of my "friends" said shit like that about sara then there is no way in hell i would stay friends with them .. no one talks about the person i'm in love iwth like that. we were doing sooo much better without them in our lives. not as much fighting, not as much jealousy .. now i'm full of it again .. i hate being jealous, but i dont' feel like i can trust her when it comes to them. like i told sara that it was ok to talk to them, but then i know if they go by the house and they are out, sara's mom will stop and then sara will hang out with them for a bit. i know it .. she did it before. i want to trust her soooo bad .. becuase i love her more then anything, and i hate not trustign her. i mean she told me that she wouldn't hang out with them, becuase she doens't want to loose me, but i'm not convinced, just like she wouldn't be convinced that i didn't like her like her, if was hanging out with emma. it's just a hard thing to deal with. i want to trust her when it comes to them, but now she says she misses them which leads me to believe that she would hang out with them .. i mean i told sara that it was ok to talk to them ( i ment over the internet) and she tells me that Elisa actually called her and talked to her .. i was like what .. and my heart dropped to my belly. i love sara with all my heart adn she knows i want to trust her, and she know's how hard it is to trust .. so she shouldn't get mad if and when she reads this. i think i'm right about this .. and so does other people that i vented to about it. but that doens't matter .. awww well .. well i guess i better be going .. prepare to have a fight when she reads this. i love you sara and you know that .. so please dont' get mad. this is how i feel. and the way you feel isn't going to change so i just wanted you to know how i feel. i love you and you know taht..... i would never leave you unless you went behind my back!! love you baby mandy |
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| i love youwell i take it back .. thanksgiving didn't suck that much .. i was with the one person i can't get enough of. she is amazing and i love her with alllll my heart! thank you for an amazing holiday break honey bunny! i wish thing could always go as planed .. i wish i could do everything i wanted to do to make you happy again .. i wish i was myself, but for now i have to sit or lay alll the time .. i want to do more for you, but i promise you when i'm better we'll be doing a lot of stuff .. i love you i hope you had a wonderful break .. i know i did baby! i love you forever ..  i love sara elaine sterner
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| ???Thanksgiving Sucks .. end of story |
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| Sick, Sick .. oh godwell this sucks .. got a soar throat .. and my head hurts! but i'm going to get better so i can go with sara on saturday. i can't wait for this week to come .. can't wait! i love you sara .. this is going to be a great! i love sara elaine sterner |
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| Tired of lifeWhat can i say .. i'm getting pretty tired of everything. I'm just ready to be myself again. i want to do the things that i normal person does. and i'm getting pretty tired of EVERYONE .. sorry if i piss anyone off, but it's the truth .. just leave me alone .. i'll IM you if i wnat to talk .. i'll call you if i want to talk .. ok .. so just leave me alone! well thats good enough for now .. later .. mandy I love Sara Elaine Sterner |
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