Psalm 34:18

18 If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there;
   if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath.
-Psalm 34:18 (the message)

Today is one of those days. God must be so near to me, because I am gasping for breath. My heart is broken and I am weak. I wish I understood why days like today must happen... Why days like today hurt so much.... I just wish I could understand

couting down....

I have only 2 days left in Nutrition. I'm so excited to be moving on. I'm ready to turn the page; to begin a new chapter in my life. I'll always remember my first day in food service. First Arbys...

I went in ready for a date... 17 years old, my hair neatly fixed, make-up in order, clothes neatly ironed, perfume, all the works. Little did I know that my hair would be frizzy from the heat, my make-up melted off by the grease, my clothes drenched in the smell of grease. Being unaware I sat there ready to fill out the last few pieces of paper work and wait on my trainer. I sat in the back of the store nervous and surrounded by cigarette smoke from the people whom I would from this point consider my co-workers. They didn't speak to me, nor smile, nor really even aknowledge my presence. Sitting there nervous, minding my business, a man walked around the corner in a very stern voice and said, "why are you sitting here? why aren't you working? you on break? or is it your first day? who are you?" I was so nervous, I didn't even know which question to answer first. I said, "I'm new, it's just my first day and no one has showed me what i'm suppose to be doing." After that the mysterious man that scared me, disappeared... and soon after that my manager appeared and took me around the store and got me started. My first customer.... my boyfriend (at the time), and his family. Talk about nervous! I did okay and somehow that job turned into 4 years, team leader, shift manager, hiring manager, meeting the love of my life, and working there 2 times.

Snack Bar... really not a lot to say. I worked there for 6 months. It was something to get me into the hospital and get me some insurance, which I had been without for over a year... It enjoyed it because I made friends with a lot of volunteers. It did what it was supposed to and got me into the hospital. But working 60 to 70 hours a week and not having any days off was taking it's tole on my immune system. One day while working in the snack bar my manager called me and told me that she had recommended me for a full time job in the nutrition dept., and that the manager Mike would probably be visiting me within the next few days. I hang up the phone and turn around... there stands Mike..... a little sooner than I thought.

I bid on a job in Nurition, had my interviews, and got it. In september I left Arbys and the snack bar and went full time in the nutrition dept. My first day scared me a little. It was fast-paced, hot, and the people didn't really talk to me. I was being trained with a woman who didn't have any teeth and was getting married the next day and the other employees were trying to convince her to wear her teeth to her wedding.... I was starting to wonder if this was the place for me.... it worked for awhile... I made some friends... but honestly, I've been ready for this move for a long time.

I'm thankful for all the places I've been and how God has moved and provided for me. I'm thankful that I always had everything I needed. I'm thankful for the people I've met and the opportunities I've been given. This isn't the end of a job, it's a new chapter in the book, it's the beginning of a new job. I'm excited to see where I'm headed and to see what God has in store...He always seems to amaze me...

So for now... 2 more days!

what is it about fireworks???

What is it about fireworks that make them so magical? What is it about them that puts us in another state of mind? What about them makes you want to be in the arms of the one that you love? What about them makes you thankful that you are in the arms of the one that you love? It's a simple flash of light, colorful, loud, yet amazing.

Last year I remember standing on my moms deck and for our first year, Emmanuel and I watching the fireworks together. I don't remember the fireworks though, I just remember how it felt standing there in his arms. The same thing about this year, we went behind the floodwall and I was closer to the fireworks than I've ever been. It was still the same ol' portsmouth fireworks display, but being in the arms of the one you love turned it into something amazing and breathtaking.

I think the fireworks has become a tradition for the both of us.

Faithful

I'm learning a tough lesson right now, but honestly it's been a good one. I'm learning to trust in God to provide all my needs. Certain things are going on in my life and I've just had to learn that God is faithful and he will provide my needs when I put my pride aside and trust in Him. He is amazing.

Through the valleys, we learn to appreciate the mountain tops. Through the drought we learn to appreciate water. Through the storms we learn to appreciate the sunny weather and the nourishment that the storms provide.

Today be thankful for our freedom, not only in this country... but the freedom we receive through Christ.

~Happy July 4th, 2007!~

Sigh... of relief

Things appear to be better today. Probably because I figured out the source of the problem. Lately, I've been a slacker... I haven't been in my bible like I should, I haven't even been praying like I should... not anywhere near it. I've learned so many times throughout my life that that is the source of most of my struggles. I have so much to praise Him for, besides the fact that He's worthy and, He's God. He has blessed me with so much that I don't even deserve. In the midst of my struggles, even my distance, he provided me with a new job that I definately don't deserve. I'm so greatful and so blessed.

This morning in church we talked about love. Pastor Joe challenged us to fill our names in this scripture like this and see if we measure up... so here goes....

1 Corinthians 13:4-8... revised by me

4Amy is patient, Amy is kind. She does not envy, She does not boast, she is not proud. 5Amy is not rude, she is not self-seeking, Amy is not easily angered, she keeps no record of wrongs. 6Amy does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7Amy always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 8Amy never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Okay... I don't add up... I don't fit.... I need some change... a lot of change....