I don't know how long has it been since I last have the time to drag myself to view my investment returns on the computer. It's something that I always want to avoid because I know for a fact that I have way more losses than gains, which is true. Ah ha, I need to learn to stop investing out of impulse or simply based on what people say.

A few weeks back, my colleagues and I had a discussion over what to investment in for the next couple of months. Steven, being the nonchalant Steven, blurted out "books." He insisted that books generate the greatest return because knowledge is something that is always with us once gained, you will be open up to a whole new world when you read about a new subject that may seemingly be irrelevant to you. This guy always has some wise words to say. It took me a few weeks to spring into action. Currently I am reading about the new rich in the US, which are known as Richistans. i'm not in the mood of typing a blog post now. I'll be back

I haven't been blogging for the longest time. I once enjoyed updating my blog on a daily basis. As time goes by, I don't really see the point of doing so anymore. Perhaps I've been a lot happier and that's why I no longer need to vent on my blog? Friend once told me that only people undergoing complicated phases in lives are inclined to blogging. As much as I want to invalidate his crude assumption, yet, I am finding myself accepting it. Perhaps, I am stubborn, I like to argue for the sake of disagreeing with him.

Life has never been boring for me. There may be a moment last week when I was really molded from boredom, but it went away after I seek pleasure from my old friend, youtube. Unlike before, I am not so much into makeup videos anymore. While I still like to indulge myself every now and then by adding a few goodies to my vanity corner, I just find that there are better things to focus on aside from physical appearance.  We tend to get bogged down on the unimportant details and neglect the big picture. Recent etiquette classes have reiterated the significance of composure, confidence and manners and I certainly am embodying them day by day, little by little. What's more encouraging is, instructor Katie complimented me to be the best performer in class. I am determined to act like an elegant lady. It sounds old school, but I am really loving the transformation in myself, I feel that's more like me.

Work has been treating me really well. Despite the recent departures of my best friend, along with several others, it's not compelling me to move on at all. I value the relationships I have with my managers, colleagues and external mentors who are so supportive of me, especially after I indicated my interest to pursuing the team leader role...

Something quite out of the ordinary happened to me this week. Somehow, my ex boyfriend's wife sent me a strange email out of the blue. I was shocked and clueless as to why she would do this. She was very polite in the email, but perhaps a bit too polite that it got kind of strange. The impression I get is she is very insecure about her relationship with her husband, perhaps because Aunty thinks highly of me? I'm someone who values relationships a lot, I always want to stay in touch with those who have genuinely kind to me in the past, examples include my high school teacher Ms. Meder whom I am still in touch with after 13 years, my professor from university and Aunty is no exception. I am only interested in keeping in touch with her and I have no intention nor interest whatsoever in getting involved in their marriage. Why? Because I've moved on ages ago. I am still looking for my Mr. Right, one who would stay true to me all the time, one who has fire burning in them to strive for a better future together. Hah, I thought I ran into him last year, but it didn't work out. Sometimes life is like this. The more you intentionally chase after a dream, the less likely you will get it. The vacation to Canada next week is a good getaway for me from this bustling city.

1 hour later, I'll be flying back home. It feels like I've been away for so long, even though it has just been about 2 weeks. Last Monday, I flew over to Shanghai for the first ever business trip in my life. One word sums up my experience there - fascinating. I don't think I'll ever forget it. Most of us bear a negative impression of mainland Chinese for their crude, uncivil, immoral behavior, especially those who come over to HK to take advantage of our welfare system. This opportunity to work there has opened up my eyes. I got to see that the working people generally carry a proactive attitude in learning. I was so pleased with them for being so respectful towards me, giving me the most undivided attention as I was teaching and calling me Teacher Cheung. Work aside, I got to try the most amazing food, that are unique to Shanghai city, such as sheng jian bao, jiu yang wan zi etc.

Immediately after the Shanghai trip, I flew over to Singapore, the tropical city that I've been to 26 times in my life already. While I thought I was not going to be here for quite a while, but what keeps me coming back is weddings and my friends, especially Joyce. Out of the new friends I made after school, I consider her to be my best friend, she's someone whom I can talk about anything under the sun with, someone whom I would confide in when I have problems (vice versa) and most importantly, someone who bears the same attitude as me when it comes to traveling. The Korea trip in January was fantastic, but my patience level tends to run out with girls who spend 2 hours getting ready in the morning and who whine about first world problems, like oh my nails are chipped!!!!!!! Anyway, I am honored to have my first emcee (She refused to let me be the Mandarin emcee due to my HK accent :/)and jie mei experience for Yiqi's wedding. I was very moved by the clips I watched at the banquet and I wish them happily ever after from the bottom of my heart. I'm very happy for this friend of mine whom I've known for 5 years! Time really flies.

Over the past year, I got to discover things that I should have known back then, little by little, bit by bit, leaving me with a heavy heart for the night. The good news is, it only bothers me for a second, probably 1 minute tops. It's the past anyway, why bother looking back and ask what if questions, am I right? What upsets me the most is when people are dishonest to me. Don't manipulate the trust that I have on you. Don't try to fool me with a fake story. Even if the truth hurts, tell me, I'll have a way to deal with it.

I can tolerate being made fun of, but I can never tolerate being lied to. Don't call me childish when you're the one who has major issues in making up a proper lie.

I am still trying to understand what I am going through right now. It's not painful to a point where I need to cry, yet it's not so trivial that it is not affecting my daily life. Forget about all the sweet talking that happened a few weeks ago, they're simply words from a drunkard which cannot be taken seriously. But what I absolutely cannot let go is the fact that he freaking lied to me as if I was a dumbass.

Yes, I may be childish, simple minded, however you call it. But I am dumb enough to believe the childish lie you told me.

For the longest time, I was a firm believer in platonic friendship between female and male. As time goes by, my life experiences are proving myself wrong.

Awkwardness kicked in after the night of the kissing at the club. I tried hard to restore our normal friendship but it rather seemed unnatural to me that I was trying so hard. After a few weeks of mundane chat about stocks I just decided to completely stop replying. It's non sense to me. I'm not here to cultivate a trader sales relationship!

First forward to last night at Sean's farewell, we managed to get normal again, we were so into talking about what we've learned in 2013 that we didn't know everyone else left! Our hands were laced together naturally almost immediately after we entered the club. One thing led to another, we found ourselves kissing passionately again at a corner where nobody we know could see us.

He was responsible enough to send me home. During our taxi ride back, we discussed about how risk reversals work.. yes... what a topic.. and what surprised me the most was he called me up to wake me up to go to work. That's very sweet. but uh what the heck is this.

1 month ago, good friend and I were having a discussion on passion over coffee. Without hesitation, he instantly blurted out finance and me? I simply could not provide an answer at all. I started questioning myself of my likes and interests. Over the years, I've had a variety of lessons, ranging from music, culinary, languages and what not. The major flaw in myself is I tend to give up too quickly, or I am just too lazy to practice to keep up my interest level. Just a few days after meet up, I was invited to my colleague Steven's for a house warming party, I was so fascinated by the pictures on his closet, the colours, the angle, the lighting combined together tell intricate stories about Hong Kong. Since then, I was drawn to photography. Then the next week, I borrowed a camera from good friend to begin for the quest to search for my passion.

It wasn't until this afternoon that I met up with Steven to take pictures on the street. I went from being unsure of my work, to freely snapping interesting constructions, sights and people. The great thing is, I can sit down and appreciate the photos I took even though I still suck at it. I'm going to play with it a few times and I might consider buying a reasonably priced camera myself. Hehe, I'm a photographer in training.

I think I'm a bit overdosed on Christmas carols. By the time Christmas comes, the festive spirit will be gone.

This week has been excellent, apart from the news from the doctor. It happened on the day when my team threw me a surprise belated cake cutting party. It kind of ruined my mood for it, but I still forced a smile my face because I really love my team. I didn't want them to worry. On the same day, I went home telling my parents and siblings calmly and warned them not to worry! Instead of sitting around and not knowing what the f is going on, I decided that I would take ownership of my life, my body and my rebellious blood vessel, I did some research on the web on the treatment that the doctor vaguely explained to me over the phone. It turns out that, it's not that much of a big deal. It can be done in a minimally invasive manner. Phew.

Maybe because of the Christmas season, I've been in such a good mood this week. I even told my team leader that I feel no stress at work at all. Same as the previous week, everyday was packed with global com practice, presentations on unseen topics, FX homework which I have absolutely no clue what's going on. Unlike before, I didn't even bother staying back at work to work on it, I just spend 1 hour at home watching some Youtube videos to grasp the concepts. Ah well, I can care less. I'm just going to smilee!

Friday was Kathy's birthday. 18 of us headed to this super local hot pot place in North Point for her party.

By the way, I am really excited about next Saturday. My sister and I are going to watch my childhood idol's concert 黎瑞恩! I'm so going to screammm my lungs out!!! I can't wait!!

I'm a greedy person who is attention seeking at times. Why do I enjoy attention so much? I blame it on being the second child. Whatever it is, I just want to say that I am so grateful to have a bunch of great friends/colleagues who celebrated my birthday twice. The first one was a joint one with Verrine a week before my birthday. We couldn't go too crazy because she's a married mom now. The second one was all mine which took place almost 3 weeks after my birthday, because I had to work around Sean's calendar. Seany, Seany.

The night began with a feast at a Thai restaurant in Wan Chai. They really swept my feet off with their efforts in arranging a surprise birthday cake, a Thai birthday song sung by the host.. and also getting me a sexy (not something I would usually wear) at my all time favourite store, Zara. As planned, we walked over to Dusk Till Dawn for the live band and a few drinks. More and more people joined as the night went on. It began with Alex (that was totally unexpected. I never thought he would come to ordinary places like such given his posh background) joining in the middle of dinner. Later on, Andrew from Cummer (he's still a kid after all these years), Sharyn & her boyfriend and Fred gor all came.

It got quite boring after a while. Sean, being the playful hardcore partying Sean suggested LKF. Initially I was not happy with the idea, but I just went along. I even wrinkled my nose as we were entering the club, because I just knew I wouldn't enjoy it at all. But who would have thought it was the highlight of the night! That's when all the jokes and randomness came about. If I were to use 2 big words to describe the night, they would be extravagant (I swiped $1800 away on alcohol alone) and debaucherous (not to that extent, no drugs or sex involved). I got quite wasted and have no recollection of what exactly happened. In the middle of the night, good friend and I spun off the crowd, going on our missions to find each other kissing partners. Somehow, when it was supposed to be his turn to kiss others, he dared me to kiss him, I then gave him a peck on the lips and it gradually progressed into a long French kiss. I don't know how he felt about it, but I felt great . We're both single. We're both at the peak of our golden years, if we don't try daring things now, then when should we do it? After we're married? No way.  Anyway, I made him promise me that there's nothing awkward between us and he must continue to chat to me.

There was also a very interesting experience. The lights were on in all of a sudden, I was like what! Why is it closing down at 2! But it turned out to be a sudden police inspection. Smart me, I brought my ID before I dashed out. While they were checking IDs, I was asked to quiet down twice cos I was talking too loud. I remember teasing him for being a wannabe when he's really a nerd deep down, he also taught me how to talk like a Brit and I shared my experience fitting in to the CBC group as a high school kid. Maybe there was more crap that we talked about, but my memory stops here.

The Amy today VS the Amy earlier this year are so drastically different. In a mere few months, I went from a overly principled, protective and conservative girl, to an adventurous, feminine woman who acts like her age. Thanks to good friend for opening me up (I don't agree everything he says), my dad and my friends for supporting me. Sometimes, we need a bit of stimulation and excitement to spice up our stressful lives. Looking back, I wonder why I was so darn rigid before. It all boils down to my loyalty and love for the ex boyfriend. He loved me for the fact that I was a simple girl. I also loved him for who he was. However, times have changed. I'm 27 this year. I'm no longer a little girl. I'm exposed to a more realistic world, where human relations are not as simple as I thought they were. Therefore, I need tweak a bit of my character to fit into the modern world. I'm still happy. I'm still who I am in the core. I know where my boundaries are. Nothing silly, nothing reckless.

All in all, the makeover experience has been so liberating, so exhiliarting. I'm loving every moment of it. Its effects even extends to other aspects of my life. I guess, somehow or rather, he is the one who also encouraged me to change my attitude towards my mom, we're definitely on better terms now.

Finally, I'm able to blog again.

I miss blogging so dearly. I'll come back later on to write more. There're a few watchful eyes behind me, better do it when I'm freer.

I stopped using Whatapp for one whole week. Initially I had the constant urge to click on the icon but eventually I got over it. During this seemingly tough week, I was actually a lot happier and more carefree, at least I'm not so much of an emotional wreck who would unknowingly get upset over people's heartless responses or even unresponsiveness. After all, human face to face interaction sends the most genuine message across.

Over the past week, I've had friends who SMS-ed me, emailed me and called me to ask what I was going through. The concerns are definitely appreciated. I think, I can pretty much live without it. While messaging technology offers us convenience, but it can never take over the importance of human interaction. 

Who did I talk to the most? My emo stylist, who was having difficulties getting over with his ex girlfriend, poor thing. No matter how "cool" he appears to be, he's still an emo wreck deep down. This experience also trained up my patience and listening skills, normally I would dominate the conversation and fire away my despicable comments. But I guess I've matured and have learned to appreciate people coming to me for advice or a listening ear. I let him do most of the talking and acknowledged whatever he had to say then offered my 2 cents. So I won the bet! Apart from the emo wreck, I also spoke to one of the guys who got me emo on the phone 2 times just about anything under the sun. They were great conversations, didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable. 

Saturday was surely a blast. Went to Macau for a day with my colleagues + friends. I lost $100 argh argh argh! It was a fun adventure, running around to get taxis and rushing back to the terminal to get a ferry back to HK. 

I think it's about time that I ditch messaging technology for a longer period. I reckon I should keep it, but only look at it at 3 hour intervals. 

I admit that I was quite desperate 2 weeks ago about boys, but after this week, I dare to say I don't care anymore. Let it be. Let it be.