good luck with your schedule tommorrow ... I know how u feel with the hole becoming ana to not be mia thing...it's actually working for me...but you have to take it really slow.  it takes time

***stay strong***

stay strong to your schedule! i sure you can do it. all the best!

hey...I actually haven't commented on anyone's xanga since this past summer...but I read yours and just had to comment.  I have been anorexic for about a year now...and I felt like I had no control over my life when living at home (when I was in high school)...but I did do a good job of not eating and counting calories and such.  Now, I thought when I went to college, I thought it would be SO much easier because I was on my own and could eat (not eat) whenever I felt like it with no one paying attention.  Now that I've gotten here, I find it harder to watch what I eat.  I'm meeting all new people and am in a sorority...so people always want to go out to eat and I don't want to be a social outcast, so I go.  And for some reason (maybe it's the new environment)...but I just haven't been counting calories.  But I hung out with an old friend the other day who has always been one of my closest friends because she is anorexic too and then I realized what have I been doing??  I'm totally ruining ALL that I had and all the good I had done to my body.  So now I'm back to what I was doing at home.  Diet pills and counting calories.  Anyway, I read about college in your entry and wanted you to know you're not alone in the big change.  College definitely is SO much fun for me...but not neccessarily for my body.  The ONLY reason I ever considered smoking was to lose weight, but I really don't think it's worth it.  I don't know...not being able to breath well freaks me out...so I refuse to smoke no matter what the effects are.  It's up to you though.  Anyway, let me know how it's going and you're not alone! You can email me anytime and mary.jones@tcu.edu.  Much love and support always <33

hey i am in college (freshman) and i know exactly where ur coming from with the whole bulimia->anorexia plan. Unfortunatley my plan was I would starve myself to cleanse..be pure of all the junk i once gorged this plan i made 2 summers ago and i thought i would naturally stop at my goal weight, but it just doesn't work that way. Losing weight is important for me too ive had an eating disorder for 6 years now. I ended up going from 117lbs to 85lbs and even though bulimia you feel out of control, there isn't much more sanity on the other side, its a figment of your imagination. Idk.. if someone said this to me i might just brush it off but i believe you should try to control what you eat.. but not deprive yourself. Its a matter of growing up and finding out ur feelings and getting help has really turned me around. You can eat somewhat normal and lose weight effortlessly but you first need to work on urself like whats bugging you and if you can see a therapist at college you might find you dont need to focus on eating as much....

sorry its so long but i just had to say something it hit close to home, i hope you can move away from bulimia, its hard but if i can do it.. so can you :)