Oh, and by the way,if one day you should happen to wake up and find yourself in an existential quandary, full of loathing and self-doubt, and wracked with the pain and isolation of your meaningless existence, at least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that somewhere out there in this crazy old mixed up universe of ours, there's still a little place...
I just had a two-hour phone conversation with home, in which numerous things were brought up and discussed, not the least of which being coming home today!!! Also mentioned were the My Chemical Romance concert I went to with a couple friends a while back and the current bleached state of my hair. (Soon to be green. Yes, I celebrate Christmas in my own way, it's true, but that doesn't mean I don't have a merry spirit. OH! All youse guys from home reading this, we should have a ceremonial ritual kind of thing for it. You know, gather round a volcano with a lovely virgin and chant "Oooma-Chaka, Oooma-Chaka" as we prepare to throw her in... that kind of deal. And Ben, if you say anything that even remotely resembles the word "Sharkbait," or utter a single "Oo-ha-ha," we get to dye yours too.) The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air came up as well, and cell phones for me, muhahaha, and then Mike and I spent about an hour talking about random things most of which I shan't mention. One of the reccuring things we discussed was advertising. We are of the opinion that beer commercials are probably the best commercials out there today. Not only are they the most randomly funny commercials out there, they totally and completely accomplish their goal. I mean, we don't even drink the stuff, but already we like Bud Light because their line of radio ads are hilarious and empathetic. If I was going to try a beer, I would probably try that one first, just because my mental associations with the product are ones of happiness and laughter. And the people that work for their company have to be great too, right? They came up with such geat commercials they have to be!
This led us to the conclusion that we should work in advertising. So Mike and I, along with AJ and Ben, we decided, should be the creative genius behind some major corporation and make oodles of noodles. You know, so just in case they drop the gold standard and adopt pasta as the new one we'll be sittting pretty. We already have a great ad for Verizon, are you ready? Okay, picture this: A bunch of teenagers are at a party around a pool or something, and as they meet and schmooze with one another, they whip out their cell phones and inquire..."Hey dude, you cellin'?" To which they all reply in groovy tones, "Oh, you know it!", "Yeah man!", and "Dude, I'm cellin' like a felon!" And eventually a mildly geeky guy walks up to their smiling clique, holds out his Tracfone and says hesitantly, "Hey...I'm cellin'.." And they're all like "Dude, you are SO not cellin'!" At which point the screen goes black and the words "Tracfones Suck." fall out of the sky and land in bold yellow print, follwed by "Get Verizon." follwed by "Fo'shizzle." We put that last bit in just to appeal to our black veiwers. That'll probly earn us a few boxes of uncooked lasagna noodles. Or maybe Fettuchini, even... Ooooo, Fettuchini...
We also think that Christopher Walken should star in a comedy movie with Bill Murray. I mean, Chris always plays dour roles in movies, stereotypically Jacob from Sarah, Plain and Tall. But he is actually funny to amazing proportions. "Gene, this time I want you to explore the studio space... I mean really Explore the Space!!" Like in aforequoted SNL skit with Will Ferrel. And Bill Murray is just...Bill Murray. Yeah, yeah, see? You know. And then we could throw Stewie Griffin in there somehow for a random cameo or something... The possibilies are endless. But now I must away with me, and catch up on all the sleep I missed while with Sean, bleaching hair at 3:30 in the morning and walking-thru the drive-thru at Sonic.
Adieu.
P.S. If you write 040404 on a calculator and turn it upside-down, it says hohoho. Just thought you might like to..Ahem, hear that, you know? I just ate a three-foot long Pixie Stick; for the love of Pete, get me a mattress, I'm gonna crash...
P.P.S. Also, Please, for the love of Pete, DO NOT feed the Huuuuuuuudge.
