ok. so i'm home now.  i'm really happy that i'm with grayson.. but i really miss everyone too. i just keep thinking how it's possible i may never see some of those people again. it sucks.. because i just love all of them soo much.. i don't know. and i'm insanely lazy and keeping in touch can sometimes be kind of annoying?  i mean of course i want to.. i just wish they lived here. it would make hs so much better. oh well..   i always came back from tip somewhat different.. hopefully in a good way.  and this year it has been that i'm more.. i guess.. well less passive.  i know what i want. does that make since?  well i don't really know what i want.. but the few times that i do.. i go for it. hmm stupid example.. but when grayson and i go out to eat.. you know how sometimes you just like really want to go somewhere?  well most of the time.. because i wouldn't want him to be unhappy and me pick.. he would pick. i mean he would beg me to for like 10 mins and i would say i didn't care.. i'm psycho i know.. but now i'm like i wanna go here.  i know it sounds stupid.. but i don't know.

anyways.. gosh now i feel bad. this girl that i'm friends with here wanted my xanga because she just got one.  but i want to be able to say whatever i want to in here.. so i wouldn't give it to her. i feel bad. oh well. and she's making a big deal about it.. this is stupid. oh well. i still love her. ok now i'm getting pissed off because she's f'in spazzing out. and being a bitch. i don't appreciate this.

anywayys.. jennifer may! i know you've called me and i'm so so sorry i've just been really busy and i will tryyy to call you soon. i'm so sorryyy. i love you and miss you.

i'm getting really pissed at this girl so i'm getting off the computer now.

much love.