What your missed!

Wow! I haven't been on my Xanga for years now!!! Last time i made it when i was like 14! Now I'm a senior is high school about to graduate! Who knew! I was reading some of my old weblogds! It's soo childish is. Let me tell you about my life story right now...

It's been awhile, but I'm pre-engaged (i say that cause it's not official yet). I've been dating my fiance, Brian for 2 years now. We are happy with each other and we will get married. It's decided that Brian and i will be engaged in College and married few years after college. We will be going to the same college together. Brian will be majoring in buisness and as for me... Phys Ed.

How did brian and I meet?
December 3, 2005 - Linda and i were invited to a Christmas party at Mike's house. His house was huuge! and man he was rich. I never knew that. Well anyways, I met some new people there like Brian. Brian was friends with Mike. When Brian first laid eyes on me, he thought i was hott. Of course he thought i look like a slut... >.<! but I was being myself and having a good time. Brian would just watch me alot. While my friend will be playing pool (pool table) I'll randomly steal the balls and run away! Then my friends will be chasing me all around the house! haha it was hilaious! I hid one in my bra and they never knew! Linda and a girl name Britney did the same.. They copied me!!!! Of course I feel like linda did it to get the attention... I did it cause the party was somewhat boring. so Anyway... I just kept taking random shit and run away... Brian was right there, so I was talking to him. Next thing... i stoled his hat and ran off. he was sooo pissed at me... He didn't even wanted to talk to me again, but he did! tee-hee. Brian did take my phone, that damn baster (luv you babe!). All of the sudden... some of us were going into the closet. Linda and Mike Clark went to the closet... for no reason really. Linda loved it cause well she had a crush on mike. When Mike and Linda got out, Brian pulled me in the closet and closed the door. He was holding me from behind. My heart was beating and i was turning red! I asked him what he was doing... and he say he didn't know... Eventually towards the end of the night.. everyone knew Brian had a crush on me... He sat there shyly... while his friends were like.. "Tell Savannah! Ask her out!" i would of said no to him if he did.. cause you know.. we just met for the first time!! He never did... Instead Brian and i sat at the bar that was in Mike's basement... We sat and talked... i talked about how guys were dicks and break your heart. All of them were the same... He tried to convince me he was differen't. I didn't believe him... Later, when i had to go home... Brian walked me to the door (Linda was with me too). He asked for a hug and I gave him one for being nice. That was the first night we first met. He was sweet.

Brian continue to talk to me through Gtalk and Aim. He asked me like..."what do i look for in a guy?" and we talked like really good friends. We eventually became close friends. I told him i did not want to get into any relationship, not for awhile... I've been hurt soo much and I don't want to deal with it anymore... But next few months I started to fall for him. His charms is what made me like him more... i told him what kind of person i was and how e mo i can be.. he still stuck around and helped me! Even when I was hurting and cutting. he stayed. My other friends abandon me when i became suicidal... Brian didn't... i never relized he loved me soo much he was still stay.. I thought he would get scared of me. Meanwhile.. i remember he first held my hand in the mall.. He held it because I was hurting. so he comfort me... This is not over yet... We were not going out yet... To be honest.. We never asked each other out... everything just click... we somehow ended up together...We don't have an official date of us being together... We decided to make Feburary 4, 2006 out anniverdary. February 4 was Semi Formal night... Brian and I never went, but he took me out to dinner.. This was out first romantic date... This was the date we choose to be an annversary..

My life is getting better!
Well.. now my life is getting better now... ever since my last suicide attempt, My counselor sent me to the Emergancy Room for mental disabilitied. The Phycologist put me on Zoloft... Ever since i've been taking medication everything started to get better... My relationship with Brian improved.. I got my friends back that I lost in the past...My grades in school improved ALOT! and Less drama is in my life. I'm happy with who i am.. I just need to lose weight! Shit I'm fucking fat!! no lie!

Haha! Well this was part of my life story..

July 26, 2005

Hanging out with Josh, Linda, Shawna, Tony, Mike, and Leon. In the afternoon.. Tony walked to my house. and Later Shawna, Linda, and Leon came over too. Shawna got to see her boyfriend. We all went swimming except for Tony... It's a shock how my mom  knew Tony and tony knew my mom. Tony Used to work at Big Lots where my mom works now.. so thats how they knew each other.  Mike and Josh came to my house later on, on their bikes. they were all muddy, but Josh wasnt that muddy. Josh went swimming, so did Leon. I stayed out a bit and later Linda Jumped in. I got my Jeans all dirty so I decided to Jump in the pool later. me and Josh held Hands a few times in the pool. We got out of the pool when it started to rain and thunder.  We all went to the Basement to play DDR and to hang out a bit. I sat next to Josh almost the whole day. Linda and her brother went home. and I didn't relize that Mike left awhile ago. so It was just Me and Josh and Shawna and Tony. Shawna and Tony were telling me and Josh to kiss! They sit there and wait.. When Shawna and Tony were to busy talking me and Josh kissed... I didn't kno that we were gonna make out!! Shawna and Tony walked away to the corner and me and josh kissed for awhile... I didn't kno how to! and I was so scared wut Josh thinks of it. Shawna and Tony came back and were happy that we did cuz They waited for us to kiss so they can kiss.  Shawna and Tony were flirting with each other for the whole time and me and Josh were just cuddled up with each other. Thats basically all we did for the whole time and Josh had to go and my dad took Tony and shawna home... so I relly didn't kno wut to do... josh I love you and always will.. xoxo

28.May.2005

Subject: Everything that happen in May

ok. this is going to be a lot to type!! lol. starting from the begining of the month. well.. not the very begining. heehee.
6.May.2005 - I went to the mall with Lynda like always. we played DDR and just have fun and hang out with other people. After the mall (around 9ish) Lynda went home.. and later.. I got a call on my cell from Josh (aka Patchy). He asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said no. (my grandparents were over so I had to go in my room) He told me tha he liked me. well. I didn't know wu else to say so like 2 mins later I told him I have to go and to call bacl later. In like 2 hours later... he called me back and asked me out. I told him I'll think about it because I only like Patchy at the time and I liked Zach J. at the time. When we hung up, I called Lynda and told her about what happen. I was still unsure.
7.May.2006
Not much had happen today. I think we went to the mall to buy sumthing for mother's day. I also had to buy somthing from my big brother because his birthday was on Mother's Day. We picked flowers from the mall to give to our mom's. We dropped Lynda at her house so she can get her stuff to stay the night at my house. We mostly played DDR at my house. it was fun for a bit. I dont remember much wut we did. my grandparents watchd us play DDR. Then we started playing DDR with out fingers.
8.May.2005
It's Mother's Day and my Big Brother's Birthday!!! lol. Lynda's mom picked her up from my house, so all I did today was celebrate mother's day and my bropther's bday with the family. we had a big dinner and everything. not much had happen...
11.May.200
I thought about my answer to Patchy. I would go out with him and see how it goes. I only liked Patchy as a friend at the time and I still liked Zach. Lynda secertly calls Patchy and told him my answer and told him to ask me out again. Patchy called me... (pretending that he doesnt know wut I'm going to say) and asked for an answer. I did say yes. so we started going out.
13.May.2005
It was me and Patchy's first date and we went to the movied to see Gusse Who. I told Patchy I had a free movie ticket, but I gusse he forgot and paid for my ticket. I feel bad for using his money. I want to pay him back. of couse Lynda and Jared was there to at the movies! heehee. I just couldnt go alone for sum reason. lol. Patchy bought a large drink and popcorn. no one finish the popcorn, but I finish the drink. lol. I'm always thirsty! During the movies I laid on Patchy's shouldren, but then I was about to fall asleep. I gusse it was ok. After the movies, the mall was closing, so we had to wait until our parents got there to pick us up. Well, patchy's dad got there and he asked for a hug so I hugged him. I still kinda like Zach, but I said to myself...that I'll like patchy more someday.
14.May.2005
My brother (kenny) graduation!! Kenny was graduation from OCC for 2 years. He's going to transfer to Plattsburg in August. Well. I thought the graduation would be boring. which it was. it lasted for hours!! Patchy called me during the graduation, so I walked out and called him back. I was glad that he called, bbecause it was boring... (starting to like him) We talked for a bit. Patchy was on his Skateboard and he had some friends over. Well. we only talked for 4 minutes. I went back to the graduation and was bored again. lol.
15.May.2005
Once again, me and Lynda went to the mall. I thought it would be boring. Patchy said he couldnt go to the mall, but his friend John would. We met him there and he borrowed my cellphone and called Patchy. He told Patchy to come to the mall and lied to him that I was crying! I wasnt crying! lol. John gave the phone to me and Patchy was like "are you crying because I'm there?" lol. no. I wasnt. We hung up. and alothappen. patchy kept calling, but John would pick up and he steals mycell phone!! lol. He put my cell in his pants and I couldnt get it... I got it back eventually. I got a lot of missed calls. After awhile, me and Lynda walked around and Patchy called and wanted me to look for rob and blah blah blah. lol. Me and Lynda went on DDR to play. That's when Patchy finally showed up. When we finish playing. i looked at patchy and we hugged. I played DDR with Patchy a few times. I was still on Light mode. It was fun I gusse. Patchy had to leave early with John. before he left, everyone was telling us to kiss. We did a short G'bye kiss. Which Lynda calls a gay kiss, because it was so short. lol. Patchy told Lynda to Kiss Zach (lol yea, Zach was there to) I started to forget about Zach and not like him anymore. he's a liar. well, Patchy left, so me and Lynda hung out with Zach for a bit. He called his friend and hung out with them, so me and Lynda... idk! lol.
17.May.2005
ok. not much happen here.. only tat I saw patchy in the morning at breakfast. (skool) I've been seeing him a lot since then in the morning.
18.May.2005
It was me and Ptachy's one week together. but also... Lynda was asked out by Zach. of course Lynda only like Zach as a friend, but she eventually started to like him alot.
20.May.2005
This day was the worst day ever!! I was all hyper and everything. I was suppose to hang out with Patchy at the mall later that day....anyways...I just got out of the Dollar Tree (really hyper) ...Patchy calls me on the cell and wanted to talk to me... He said that he's better off single and that we should be friends. He broke up with me!!! I was like all sad and my mom noticed it when I got in the car. she was like...what's the matter with you. I wa sad!! lol.We went to Wegmans and I didn't feel like doing anything. I told my mom I'll be in the Van becauseI didn't feel like shopping. I went back to the van.. I stated to cry a little, then I called Lynda.. I didn't mention anything about the breakup. Later on, me and Lynda got to the mall. Patchy was alredy there. Lynda was going to head for the arcade, but I went a diferent direction saying.. I'm going to get a drink, which I lied. (kinda). lol. Then after I got a drink Lynda was going to arcade, but I didn't. I walked away. Lyndan oticed somthing was up, because I was avodiing Patchy. She went over to talk to Patchy wut had happen. I walked out of the mall staring to cry again. Sammy told Lynda that Patchy broke up with me and Patchy told Lynda that he can get another girl. Thats what Lynda had told me. Lynda coulnd find me. I was outside walking because I didn't want anyone seeing me crying. I later came back in the mall near Spensers. Lynda found me and Shawna, Kevin, and Crhis was there to. I tried to stop crying, but I couldnt help it. Lynda wanted to play DDR with Shawna since I didn't feel like playing. I told them they can play and I'll be in the food court watching. They went inside about to play DDR and I saw Patchy sitting down at the tables in the Food Court. so I didn't feel like being around there so I walked away again. Patchy somehow thought I was going to kick his ass because said I looked pissed. once again Lynda called asking were I was. I came back to the foodcourt near the restrooms. Lynda came up to me saying that Patchy wanted to talk to me. I walked a little but then stopped at a piller (or big pole) becauseI was scared to talked to him. Lynda went up to Patchy telling him I was like scared. Patchys friend and Lynda pushed him towards me. and we had a little talk. I lied to him saying I was ok with eveything and that we should be friends. I tried to smile, but I couldnt. Later on, there was a problem with Kevin and Shawna. I'm not sure if they broke up that day. Kevin was complaining because Shawna wouldnt hang out with Chris and him. so I gusse they had a talk, but Kevin wouldnt let her go. Lynda recorded Kevin and Shawna at the arcade how shawna was trying to get away from Kevni, but Kevin wouldnt let her go.. She pushed him away and everything. Patchy was there too, to witness it. He was crazy! Kevin and Chris was suddenly gone. I think mike was there to. yea he was. lol. I dont kno wut else happen. Shawna was hanging out with Mike now. Patchy called asking if Shawna was alright. so yea.. Patchy left the mall and everyone went home. I started crying I gusse when I was going to bed. ever night I cried ever since the break up.
24.May.2005
I've been single for 4 days. and I cried because I missed Patchy and I really loved him. I tried o avoid him and not make eye contact. It was hard not to. When I got home from school and it was like 7 or 8pm. I dont remember the time. Patchy signed online. he told me the reason why he broke up with me and that he missed me. i was about to cry again when he said that. He said that he wanted me back. I told him I missed him and wanted him back. He asked me back out again. I yea yea! I lovedhim so much!! lol. I was soo happy!!! I was on the phone with Lynda at the time. and i told her that we wer going back out. I didn;t want to change the date when we were going out from may 11, to May 24. I still say that me and Patchy has been going out since May 11.
25.May.2005
Early morning. I get to school. like i usally do. I waited for Lynda at the high school. When Lynda got to the high school we went to see Leah and told Leah about going back out with him. I didn't bother Patchy because I thought his friends hated me. Before we left to go to the annex , I visited patchy and talked with him for alittle bit. and hugged him then left for the annex. heehee. I really missed him. lol.
27.May.2005
Me and Lynda went to the mall again. We got to the mall early and we played DDR. Later on, Patchy got to the mall. and I went up to him and hugged him. we watched ppl play DDR for a bit. seems like there was somthing going on with his friends, but I'm confused. Patchy went to hang out with his friends and me and Lynda played DDR again. after awhile I went to see Patchy, but they were outside.. (smoking..? lol) Patchy's friend Jared came up to me and hugged me, telling me a bunch of stuff that I wanted to hurt him. He was saying.. I hope you have fun alone without your boyrfriend. I cant beleive he said that! well patchy walked up to me and I asked him wut was Jared talking about. we were both confused. we went inside and me and Patchy played DDR. oh yea. me and Lynda were on standerd now! heehee. I like it better when Patchy is being himself! I hung arund with Patchy. It was fun. I gave Patchy this lip thing that was a charm for my cell phone. I said it was a kiss. heehee. It was small, but o well. I gave him somthing. Oh yea. at the mall. there was this big big scary looking military guy. lol. this guy was in a costume. a BIG costume. and this one guy asked me if I wanted a flag and I said sure. Then he told me to sign sumthing that I promise to hold a flag up and Flag Day. so I signed the paper. heehee. Wel. the mall was closing and Lynda told Patchy to kiss me... it never happen. lol. before Patchy left we hugged and said I love you.
28.May.2005
All I did today was clean and play DDR and Inuyasha!! I got my DDR yesterday! lol. well. I didn't tell every single thing that happen. lol. It would be way to much. lol. well. right now. I'm on the phone with Lynda. and it's like 12:15am right. this will be all... I love you Patchy!! heehee.