Weblog
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
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10 Paces then DRAW
George: This is where I felt it the first time. The universe was cocking the fuck-with-me gun. (Dead Like Me 2003)
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It never fails. Once you start feeling settled in your life... once you start feeling like everything couldn't get ANY more complicated in your life... the universe pulls the "fuck-with-me" gun. It is the thing that ultimately shoots you in the head because you actually are starting to feel good about something. The universe thinks to itself (or it would if it were a conscious living thing) "So and So's life is looking too easy. Or maybe it isn't complicated enough. OR (and this thought would probably be my personal favorite) I'm bored... let's see what happens!"
It is the show down between you and the universe. You standing on one side of the street and the Universe on the other. You are only armed with your wit and common sense. The Universe is armed with the "Fuck With You" guns. Whether you survive or not is all up to you.
Recently the universe has been winning. I think because we have two different fighting styles. I'm facing it head on and the universe is playing guerrilla warfare. It hits you from all angles and God only knows how you are going to survive. I'm learning very quickly that I need to be light on my feet and tough as nails.
Some information has been dropped in my lap that hit me like a bombshell. I was speechless and then I started to freak out. Only in my head. The people in the room could NEVER know that I was freaking out. What would I say? What would do? Why does this shit happen to ME?! Haven't quite figured out that one yet....
All I could say was, "That's great" while on the inside I'm going "WHAT THE HELL?!" So here I stand facing off with the universe again thinking to myself, "This is going to hurt when the gun goes off". I can only hope that the "fuck with me" guns misfire or at least miss me. -
Quotes: Dead Like Me
This is to show the awesomeness of this show!!!
[George has just attended her own autopsy]
George: So, what's next? Onward and upward?
Rube: "Onward", not "upward". No pearly gates for you. No choirs of angels, either.
George: You dick! You're sendin' me to hell?
George: That's very Zen of you, you must smoke pot.
Data Entry Guy: Files don't just disappear.
George: They do if you drop them down an elevator shaft.
George: We lead our lives, and when they end, sometimes we leave a little of ourselves behind. Sometimes we leave money, a painting, sometimes we leave a kind word. And sometimes, we leave an empty space.
[Mason shows George how the undead look to the living]
George: Who decides what we look like?
Mason: I don't know. Maybe this is what our inner child looks like when it grows up.
George: If that were the case, it looks like my inner child's road to adulthood was paved with crack cocaine, ten-dollar blowjobs, and maybe even a trick baby or two.
Betty: Oh, and always be nice to that lady at the DMV.
Roxy: I told that bitch that her weave looked like carpet, and now my social insurance number pulls up *two* bankruptcies!
Joy: I hate to say "I told you so."
George: You love to say "I told you so."
George: I'd say I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not. I excel at not giving a shit. Experience has taught me that interest begets expectation, and expectation beget disappointment, so the key to avoiding disappointment is to avoid interest. A equals B equals C Equals A, or whatever. I also don't have a lot of interest in being a good person or a bad person. From what I can tell, either way, you're screwed. Bad people are punished by society's laws, and good people are punished by Murphy's Law. So you see my dilemma.
George: This is where I felt it the first time. The universe was cocking the fuck-with-me gun.
Rube: You like spaghetti, George? I like spaghetti. I like board games. I like grabbing a trifecta with that longshot on top. That ozone smell you get from air purifiers. And I like knowing the space between my ears is immeasurable. Mahler's first, Bernstein conducting. You've got to think about all the things you like and decide whether they're worth sticking around for. And if they are, you'll find a way to do this.
George: And what if I don't?
Rube: Then you go away, and you don't get to like anything anymore.
[George is in a good mood one morning and Roxie doesn't like it]
Roxy: How about a hot cup of shut the fuck up?
[Rube lights his pipe in the Happy Time office]
George: You can't smoke in here.
Rube: Ah, fuck that bullshit, they can blow me.
[after Rube asks Daisy to take two post its]
Daisy Adair: NO! And no means no! Powerful isn't it? I learned it at a PSA about date rape!
[George, talking about Roxy]
George: That's Roxy. She could kick your ass.
[talking to two girls]
Mason: Do any of you girls work for UPS? 'Cause I couldn't help but notice you were checking out my package.
George: Well, I want my life back!
Betty: It's not like you were doing anything with it.
Roxy: I'm going to put this politely as possible. I will fuck you up!
Mason: But am I pretty?
Rube: Oh, you're darling. You make my heart flutter.
George: Life sucks, and then you die. And then it still sucks.
Roxy: Nice Cross. How'd you get the blood off?
Daisy Adair: Oh easy, soap and water.
Brennan: [phone is ringing] Should I answer it?
George: Let's give that a whirl.
Deirdre Daly: [handing George a flower] For my first customer of the day.
George: [taking her soul] Mine too.
George: Who do I have to kill to get some attention around here!
Mason: [about Crystal] We've got a problem.
George: I don't think it's a problem.
Rube: Gravelings?
Mason: Weirder.
Roxy: [to Mason who is curled up on a bench at the diner and looking out the window] What's wrong with you?
[Mason blinks in her direction, eyes bloodshot]
Roxy: Are you stoned?
Mason: [looking very pale and sickly] I've got illegals in my bottom...
[referring to the bag of cocaine that broke in his rectum at the airport]
Roxy: [looking at mason shaking her head] Why do you do this to yourself?
Mason: [hand on his forehead whimpering] I don't know.
Mason: I've got illegals in my bottom.
[George is thinking to herself about the new guy she has just met at work as she walks around the office]
George: I cannot go out with this Brennan guy, it would never work out. You're a Taurus, he's a Gemini. He's Lutheran, and you're dead. You have to weasel your way out of this, you have to tell him... no.
[sees Fran, flirting with Brennan and playing with his hair]
George: Oh my god, some slut is stealing my boyfriend!
Roxy: [after Gravelings tried to drop something on her] You missed me, motherfuckers!
Daisy Adair: [after a married couple dies right after their ceremony] They're not going to Bali for their honeymoon, are they?
Mason: No
Daisy Adair: That's really one of the saddest things I've ever heard.
[the newlywed spirits kiss]
Mason: They don't seem to mind.
George: Death is kind of like sex in high school. If you knew how many times you missed having it, you'd be paralyzed.
George: Don't you want to at one with nature and your fellow workers? Nope, can't. bed-wetter.
Mason: I'm so smart i'm practically retarded!
George: Yuck! This juice tastes like ass, here you try it!
Mason: No, thanks. I'm trying to stay off of the ass juice for now.
Joy: Where are my effing keys?
Reggie Lass: Maybe they're in your effing purse.
Joy: Reggie! Don't say effing!
Mason: Rube is so old, he probably reaped Jesus!
Dolores Herbig: [to George after checking her online date account and getting no messages] You know, when you are young like you are, Millie, it's easy. Man, woman, bottom, top... sex is a big buffet and you are just a fat man with a fork. But, as you get older, it's harder to get a fork.
George: I think when someone you love dies, you get a pass on normal.
George: Since I just got promoted, I just thought you two should know - I take my coffee with a little milk, two sugars and a lot less of your bullshit.
Betty: [to George] I like you, Toilet Seat. You got moxy.
George: What's the point in keeping your head down it it's already been blown off?
Tiny: The only thing we hate more than bad manners is the goddamn fascist helmet law!
[last lines]
George: I'm not supposed to be here, but I am. I don't know if I'm supposed to watch over them or just haunt them. Either way, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't having fun. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to be here, walking thru a graveyard, the day after Halloween, on a quiet and beautiful November morning. It's not so bad... being dead like me.
Dolores Herbig: GEORGIA LASS!
George: [bumping her head] What?
Dolores Herbig: What?
George: [quickly rethinking] Who?
George: [voiceover] Let's go for a ride. My name is Georgia Lass. I'm 18 years old and I'm down there somewhere
[shows world]
George: . I'm going to tell you a story, not my story, that's later, this is just a story... Ready? Once upon a time, or more specifically at the dawn of time, god, lower case "g", was getting busy with creation, as the kids these days are saying. He gave Toad a clay jar and said, "Be careful with this. It's got death inside". Pleased as punch and oblivious to the fact that he was about to become god's fall guy on the whole death issue, Toad promised to guard the jar. Then one day Toad met Frog. "Let me hold the jar of death, or what ever you call it", Frog begged. With a nod to Nancy Reagan's pros of wisdom, Toad just said no. But Frog was determined, and after much whining Toad finally gave in. "You can hold it, but only for a second", he said. In his excitement, Frog began to hop around and juggle the death jar from one foot to the other. Frog was an asshole. "Stop!" Toad cried out, but it was to late. Frog dropped the jar and it shattered to the ground. When it broke open, death got out, and ever since then all living things have to die. Makes you wonder how much better the world would be if frogs just stuck to hawking beer. So there you have it, the mystery of death finally revealed. We all die, some of us sooner then later. For me it's going to be much sooner. But that's only the beginning of my story.
Brian: Look! A Pterodactyl!
George: [thinking] Please tell me I didn't just fall for that.
George: Get the F out. Before I kick your F-in' A again.
George: [after Joy wakes her up and sends her to work] Who had the nerve to call you Joy?
Ray Summers: Okay, George. Five reasons men are scum and women let us get away with it. One: we only want one thing. No exceptions. Two: we fall in love with you before we can have that thing and then fall back out once we've had it, whereas women conversely fall in love afterwards. Three: we will lie, cheat, steal or murder in order to get that thing... why am I sugarcoating this, you're a big girl... in order to fuck you. Four: we freely admit the numbers one, two, three, and women don't care. And the number five reason why men are scum and women let us get away with it: you can't live without us.
Rube: [trying to get the reapers to work on their self-exams] Hey-there's no hob-knobbing. This is not a debutante party.
George: If I had to choose between being a heart or a brain I'd definitely choose a heart because at least you'd do something. If you're a brain, at the end of the day all you're really at is settling for shitty situations.
George: You really care how it's going with me?
Rube: Sure. You make my face look like this and concerned words come out.
Rube: What you're feeling right now -all the rage and frustration binding everything from your head to your digestive tract- that's my life with you.
Rube: [in the morgue, referring to a corpse George was supposed to reap but did not,whose soul is still inside the body] Well, you really fucked the dog, peanut.
George: I didn't make an appointment.
Rube: You had an appointment.
George: Correct me if I'm wrong, but mission accomplished.
Rube: You're wrong. That was me correcting you.
George: [after intentionally missing an appointment to reap a soul] I forgot to tell you my last guy didn't show... just thought you'd like to know. What's the soup today?
Rube: Cream of bullshit.
Mason: [referring to Rube] Stay on his good side. He's like a volcano George. He erupts and spews lava in little villages. They run around, they run around for their lives. But you know he stops and you can go back to the safety of your own home.
Roxy: So what are you, Rube's butt boy?
George: Why? Did you resign?
George: So, my whole life, everything, all I get to keep are thoughts and memories?
Rube: That's all we ever have peanut.
Betty: [taking a quiz] Do you consider yourself exceptionally reasonable or exceptionally kind?
Mason: Exceptionally kind.
[Betty looks at him questioningly]
Mason: Well, I'm not particularly reasonable.
George: This is why having a destiny sucks.
Stan Samuels: [in a church] Why would God do this to me?
Daisy Adair: Do what? Have you die this way?
Stan Samuels: Have me live this way! God doesn't love all creatures, Daisy.
Daisy Adair: I think you should pray, Stan.
Stan Samuels: I want to forgive him, but I want him to tell me that he's sorry first.
[stained glass window of The Virgin Mary shatters]
George: I don't know exactly what makes people cross over. I mean, souls. I think they see light where others cannot. I think they see a chance to become something else. Someone else.
George: I can't believe I just said "dilly dally". I feel dirty.
Daisy Adair: You are always in your own head. It's like your talking to yourself.
George: [voice over] Am I?
Mason: We're going to play a little Hallowe'en game. Now, I'm going to ask you a question and you're going to answer me. If you get it right, you win a dollar, if you get it wrong, I get all your candy. All right? Right. What original member of the Rolling Stones croaked whilst having a drowning accident?
Kids: Mick Jagger?
Mason: No, he's kind of alive and still touring.
Kids: Keith Moon?
Mason: No, that's the fucking Who.
Kids: Who?
Mason: The Who! It was Brian Jones, now hand over the candy. Now piss off. I partied with him and I reaped him, *yes*!
Rube: Stealing candy from children. Challenging.
Roxy: [in reference to the leg warmers, her invention and the reason for her murder in 1982] Jennifer Beals, you wore them well.
Rube: The thing is what, Mason?
Mason: You know that thing, ok, you're good at that thing, that, you can, you're better at, um, just, you know, you know, talking.
Rube: Well said.
[a flaming toilet seat is about to hit George]
George: Oh, shit.
Dolores Herbig: Who has been making grilled cheese sandwiches with the defibrillator paddles?
George: Shallow's the new deep, haven't you heard?
Penny: You're the one who was killed by a toilet seat.
George: God, will anyone ever let that go?
Mason: She said you're...
[whispers]
Mason: psychotic.
Kiffany: I'm not psychic.
Mason: I think you are.
Kiffany: I have tables...
Mason: I'll give you ten bucks.
Kiffany: You only have two in your pocket.
[Penny died on the Titanic]
George: How'd you die?
Penny: Boating accident.
George: Sailing? Water-skiing? Fall out of a dingy?
Penny: Bigger.
Mason: Roxy, your dress makes me feel funny in my pants.
Rube: [to George] You're a constipator, Peanut. You disturb my shit, and that's annoying.
Rube: [to a hurried woman who sees an acquaintance in line at the post office and moves in line next to her] I have a question for you... is everyone in this line an asshole?
Woman in Post Office: Excuse me?
Rube: Is everyone you just cut in front of an asshole?
Woman in Post Office: No.
Rube: So it's just you then?
Woman in Post Office: I have children in the car.
Rube: I have a cake in the oven.
[pointing]
Rube: He's got three minutes left on the meter. And she's got a lunch meeting. We all have a finite amount of time. Now get in the back of the line. And don't use your children like that - it's shameful.
George: [Mason keeps on interrupting George when she is trying to convince Daisy to let Mason live with them] Shut the *fuck* up, Mason!
Joy: So tell me the rules.
Raven: We'll just go around the circle until you get it. Then you can join in.
Tabitha: Overdose.
Raven: Of what?
Tabitha: Aspirin?
Raven: Boring.
Tabitha: Ok, wait. Boiling oil. Boiling acid.
Girl #2: Electrocution.
Girl #3: Decapitation.
Raven: Flame.
Tabitha: Brain embolism.
Girl #2: Carpel tunnel.
Girl #3: What's that?
Girl #2: It's really, really bad.
Raven: OK, Mrs. Lass?
Joy: Umm... well, in my sleep, age 98, surrounded by flowers, and grandchildren, and all people I love.
Reggie Lass: [sighs]
George: I don't want to fit in, I just don't want to stand out.
Daisy Adair: If Romeo had just masturbated a couple of times a week he would have saved both those nice families a heap of trouble.
Ray Summers: Hi, I'm Ray.
George: Fuck you, Ray.
Ray Summers: Nice spendin' time with you guys.
Daisy Adair: Ray, this is Mason. Mason, Ray. And George - curious George.
Mason: So Daisy, what's goin' on, I thought it was just the three of us.
Ray Summers: Daisy?
Daisy Adair: Daisy Adair.
George: So what do you do, Ray?
Ray Summers: I'm a television producer, George.
George: So you're rich.
Ray Summers: Comfortable.
George: I suppose you're charming.
Ray Summers: Tolerable.
George: And women just fall the fuck all over you.
Ray Summers: Not you, I suspect.
Daisy Adair: Georgia, you're being impolite.
Ray Summers: No, no, that's okay. Everybody likes me eventually.
Ray Summers: [nodding toward Mason and Daisy] So what's that about?
George: Probably you.
Ray Summers: I find your friend Daisy painfully attractive.
George: Take a number.
Ray Summers: How do you know her?
George: That's none of your fuckin' business.
Ray Summers: You're an angry little thing, aren't ya?
George: [raising dart towards Ray's eye] You call me a little thing again and I'll put this fuckin' dart right between your twinkling eyes.
Ray Summers: 'Nother tequila?
George: Please... so, you the love 'em and leave 'em type?
Ray Summers: I've done that.
George: [eye roll] What is up with that?
Ray Summers: What's the matter, George? A boy not nice to you?
George: No, I'm good.
Ed Barphin: May I ask you a question?
George: That is a question. Would you like to ask me another one?
George: Hi, Lydia. You've temped for them before. There's a dress code and your skirt needs to actually cover your ass... I don't care where your tattoo is, you cannot show crack at the office.
Daisy Adair: You know, George, you have your very own saint.
George: I'd rather have a pony.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
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Sex: Fact and Fiction: An article from WebMD
Sex: Fact and Fiction
What’s the average penis size? How fast is premature ejaculation? Exactly where is the G-spot? Grab a ruler and a stopwatch as the experts sort sex myths from the facts.Reviewed by Amal Chakraburtty, MD, MDIf there were a roll call for the founding fathers of sex myths for men, a couple of no-brainers would surely make the list: porn legend John Holmes, whose yule-log-size penis still casts a shadow over anxiety-prone males. Ditto NBA-great Wilt Chamberlain, whose claim of having slept with 20,000 women makes Don Juan look monastic.
And then there’s purveyor-of-sex-myths Walt Disney.
“I think Walt Disney creates a lot of mythology,” says Seth Prosterman, PhD, a clinical sexologist and licensed marriage and family therapist practicing in San Francisco. “In Disney movies, people fall in love and walk into the sunset, and you get this myth that intimacy is a given once you fall in love, and sexuality is natural and follows that.”
In reality, says Prosterman, “Sex is something that we learn throughout a lifetime.”
If sexuality is a continuing education, a lot of us are scrambling to make up course credits. And in a realm that’s clouded by ego, myth and advertising that preys on anxieties, getting the facts about sex can be difficult. What is the average size of the male penis? How long do most men last during intercourse? Can men have multiple orgasms? Does the G-spot exist, and if so, how do I find it?
(Need to talk to the guys about something? Check out the Men’s Health: Man-to-Man message board for straight talk.)
Penis Size: The Hard Facts
“Drastically enlarge the penis length and width to sizes previously thought impossible!” reads a website for the Penis Enlargement Patch. (One envisions a lab-coated mad scientist pouring chemicals on his own penis, then shouting ”Eureka!” and phoning the Guinness Book.) Almost anyone with an email account has been deluged by spam for such miracle-growth patches and pills, and the endurance of sex myths may explain the pervasiveness of such ads.
“We equate masculinity and power with penis size,” says Ira Sharlip, MD, clinical professor of urology at the University of California at San Francisco and president of the International Society for Sexual Medicine. “Of course, there’s really no relationship.” Still, Sharlip says, “all” of his patients want to increase their penis size.
The idea that bigger is better is “not just total mythology,” says Seth Prosterman, who has counseled couples since 1984 and notes that some of the women he’s worked with do prefer a bigger penis -- aesthetically or “fit-wise.” But, he adds, “For the vast majority of partners, penis size doesn’t matter.”
So what, exactly, constitutes a big penis? Let’s whip out some data:
- The average penis size is between five and six inches. That’s for an erect penis.
- The flaccid male organ averages around three and a half inches
Sex Fact: We Are Not Our Penises
If you had an anxiety hiccup before you read the “erect” qualifier, consider it a metaphor for the danger of jumping to conclusions about penis size -- or about the primacy of the penis altogether.
“The idea that the penis is the most important part of your body underlies so many of men’s sexual problems,” says Cory Silverberg, a sexual health educator and founding member of Come As You Are, an education-based sex store in Toronto. “One of the biggest sex myths for men is the notion that we are our penises, and that’s all that counts in terms of sex.”
“It’s a myth that using the penis is the main way to pleasure a woman,” says Ian Kerner, PhD, a sex and relationships counselor in New York City whose book She Comes First offers a guide to “female orgasms and producing them through inspired oral techniques.” In his book, Kerner cites a study that reports women reaching orgasm about 25% of the time with intercourse, compared with 81% of the time during oral sex.
OK, OK, Size Isn’t Important. But How Can I Increase My Penis Size?
Despite the facts, the din of penis-enlargement marketing only seems to grow louder. (“Realize total and absolute power and domination in bed with your partner, with your new-found penis size and sexual performance” screams the ad for the Penis Enlargement Patch.) Men keep chasing after the mythical, mammoth-sized member.
Silverberg says male clients at his store, and in his counseling work, constantly ask him about penis pumps, whose powers of elongation, he says, are a “myth,” although he adds that some men who’ve used them report satisfaction, a phenomenon he explains this way: “I think spending more time paying attention to our genitals will probably increase our sexual health.”
Just the Facts on the G-Spot
If sex myths have such power over men’s thinking about their own anatomy, they have even more sway when it comes to female partners’ bodies -- especially the much-debated G-spot.
Named after a German doctor, Ernst Gräfenberg, who first wrote about an erogenous zone in the anterior vaginal wall, the G-spot was popularized by a 1982 book called … The G-spot. This region behind the pubic bone is often credited as the trigger for a vaginal (vs. clitoral) orgasm, and even a catalyst for female ejaculation.
At the same time, the G-spot is commonly derided as perpetuating the myth ensconced by Sigmund Freud -- namely, that the clitoral orgasm is a "lesser" form of climax than the vaginal orgasm, which requires penile penetration. As Ian Kerner summarizes, “In Freud’s view, there were no two ways about it: If a woman couldn’t be satisfied by penetrative sex, something must be wrong with her.”
The G-spot’s existence is still debated, and whether it’s fact or fiction depends on whom you ask.
“The G-spot exists,” says Seth Prosterman. “It’s a source of powerful orgasm for a percentage of women.”
“I don’t think the G-spot exists,” says Ira Sharlip. “As urologists, we operate in that area [where the G-spot should be] and there just isn’t anything there -- there’s no anatomical structure that’s there.”
Prosterman and others point out the importance of thinking of the G-spot in context -- that it may be an extension of the clitoral anatomy, which extends back into the vaginal canal. Kerner writes that the G-spot may be “nothing more than the roots of the clitoris crisscrossing the urethral sponge.”
Helen O’Connell, MD, head of the neurourology and continence unit at the Royal Melbourne Hospital Department of Urology in Australia, says, “The G-spot has a lot in common with Freud's idea of vaginal orgasms. It is a sexual concept, this time anatomical, that results in confusion and has resulted in the misconception that female sexuality is extremely complex.”
In the end, whether this debated locus of pleasure is fact or fiction may not matter that much. O’Connell, who is also co-author of a 2005 Journal of Urology study on the anatomy of the clitoris, says that focusing on the G-spot to the exclusion of the rest of a woman’s body is “a bit like stimulating a guy's testicles without touching the penis and expecting an orgasm to occur just because love is present.” She says focusing on the inside of the vagina to the exclusion of the clitoris is “unlikely to bring about orgasm. It is best to think of the clitoris, urethra, and vagina as one unit because they are intimately related.”
How Long, Part 2: How Premature Is Premature Ejaculation?
The possibilities for exploring a woman’s erogenous zones may be tremendously exciting -- which leads to another source of sex myth and male anxiety: How long can I last? And how long should I be able to last?
Premature ejaculation is “the most common form of sexual dysfunction in younger men” according to Ira Sharlip, and its prevalence is around 20% to 30% in men of all ages.
The medical method of determining premature ejaculation is called “intravaginal ejaculatory latency time” (IELT), a stopwatch-timed duration measured from the beginning of vaginal penetration until ejaculation occurs. However, Sharlip adds, this quantitative measure doesn’t tell the whole story: “There are men who ejaculate within a minute but say that they don’t have premature ejaculation. And then on other end of spectrum, there are patients who are able to last for 20 minutes, and they say they do have premature ejaculation.”
In other words, the definition of "premature" may be largely in the eye (or mind) of the beholder, and depends on a man's sexual satisfaction and his perception of his ability to control when ejaculation occurs.
If you just can’t wait for the numbers, though, a 2005 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found “a median IELT of 5.4 minutes.”
Ian Kerner says a common cutoff time used to define premature ejaculation is two minutes, but he adds that many of the men he works with “are not guys who can last a few minutes; they’re having orgasms during foreplay, or immediately upon penetrating. They have a hard time lasting past 30 seconds.”
But a quick trigger is normal, says Kerner. “Men were wired to ejaculate quickly -- and stressful situations make them ejaculate even more quickly. It’s been important to the human race. If guys took an hour to ejaculate, we’d be a much smaller planet.”
Sex therapists and physicians offer a number of techniques that can help men manage their anxiety and prolong their time to ejaculation. Several drugs -- like some antidepressants (used for off-label treatment) and topical sprays -- have been shown to extend time to ejaculation.
And, contrary to the common perception that distraction or decreasing stimulation is the answer (slow down, think about baseball), some say that giving in to sensation can help address the issue as well. “The way to learn [to last longer] is by getting used to intense stimulation,” says Prosterman, “to increase the frequency of intercourse, and feel every sensation of being inside your partner and enjoy it.”
Come Again? The Mythical Multiple Orgasm for Men
While multiple male orgasm is possible anywhere two or more men are gathered and talking, actual male multiple orgasm is another story. Unlike the more established phenomenon of female multiple orgasm, men’s claims of successive climaxes can stray into the realm of sex myth. At the very least, male multiple orgasm is difficult to verify and may depend on the definition of orgasm.
Prosterman says that the book The Multi-Orgasmic Man popularized “an Eastern meditative process that involves wrapping the PC [pubococcygeus] muscle around the prostate. There’s a valve on the prostate that switches on and off before urination and ejaculation. The PC muscle stops this valve from opening, allowing an orgasm without ejaculation. The idea is to keep doing that five or six times in a row.
“Out of hundreds of guys I know who’ve tried this,” says Prosterman, “I know only one who’s been able to do it.”
Is this man Mr. Lucky, or just prone to poetic license?
A 1989 study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior recorded the testimony of 21 other men who claimed to be multi-orgasmic, but Ira Sharlip says “that doesn’t happen,” referring to the phenomenon of “multiple orgasms in succession over a short period of time -- like minutes.” And there’s no such thing as separating ejaculation and orgasm, he says.
Orgasm or Orgasm-esque?
What may be at issue here is the definition of orgasm -- which, according to a 2001 Clinical Psychology Review article, has been strikingly inconsistent. “Many definitions of orgasm “depict orgasm quantitatively as a ‘peak’ state that may not differentiate orgasm adequately from a high state of sexual arousal,” the study’s authors wrote.
In other words, those men who report multiple orgasms may be able to achieve orgasm-esque states before they hit the point of ejaculatory no-return. And many men report that strengthening the PC muscles through Kegel exercises allows them to edge closer to this “point of inevitability” without cresting the mountaintop of ejaculation and descending into the gentle valley of the flaccid and the “refractory” period, where the penis is temporarily unresponsive to sexual stimulation.
Even so, both Prosterman and Sharlip say this refractory period can be short enough that it’s possible for men to orgasm, ejaculate, recover and do it again -- and again -- during the same “session” of sex.
And if that recovery period isn’t super quick, you can still enjoy multiple orgasms -- you may just need to cancel your afternoon appointments.
Sex Fact: It’s Not Always about the Numbers
In the end, there seems to be a recurring theme in moving beyond sex myths: Don’t get too hung up on the numbers.
So often the key to sexual satisfaction is not about penis size, stamina records, or a technical isolation of the G-spot. Rather, it’s about understanding yourself and your partner’s desires and recognizing that, unlike those Disney characters, real people aren’t born with a perfect, divinely granted understanding of sex.
As O’Connell remarks on the perils of over-privileging of the G-spot, “It is best for partners to explore the precise areas that turn someone on and how a partner likes to be given pleasure. That applies to both men and women, and the idea that there is any consistent 'magic spot' in either sex is just tyrannical.”
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
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Dead Like Me
Chris has me hooked on the short lived show Dead Like Me. I absolutely loved it! It got me wondering. When you talk to people and you have those moments where you make a connection with someone on some level. Even if you absolutely hate them... like for example, I have said to myself, "She is just searching for someone to love her... like me". It automatically makes you for a split second not hate that person, but understand them in some weird way. I wake up in the morning and I go through my day and I wonder... do I matter?
There was an episode where they all had to file people's paperwork by what their last thought was. Do you ever wonder what exactly is going to be the last thought of your life? This isn't some morbid death talk but more of a pondering of the inevitable. We all die. Some sooner than others. Is it sad to lose people... yes. But what about our lives. Am I using my life to the best of my ability or am I wasting away on some meaningless problem after another?
I have been whining about how empty I feel and how alone I feel, but the truth is I'm not really alone. I have friends who love me dearly and as screwy as my family is... they are still mine. I have dogs that love me... when I'm not punishing them for pissing on the carpet. I don't have a car, but a lot of people don't have cars. I have a great house and by the looks of my waist, I'm not starving. So, what exactly do I have to complain about. I really don't want my last thought to be..."Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda..." or "I wish I had..." or "I'm so alone".
What is that saying you hear all the time... better to look back and regret the things you did do then the things you didn't do? Or something like that. I don't believe that either because there are sure as hell a lot of stuff that I regret doing. I regret cheating on my past boyfriends. I regret the time I ate that entire brownie by mistake. (phew) I regret saying those mean things to my mother even though I meant them. I didn't have to be cruel. I regret that I took life too seriously in HS and that I didn't take it serious enough in college. We all live with regret. Do we have to die with regret? Is my last thought going to be "Oh Shit" or "I wish I had..."
I'm sorta disgusted with myself right now. I have been wallowing in my own self pity for way to fucking long. I mean my god... I've got things to do with my life. My days are numbered... that goes for anyone. We have an "appointment" with death and unfortunately, unless it is a suicide, we don't get to say when it is. For example, they have been telling my step dad when he was a kid that he wouldn't live into old age and he is well into his late 40's. We don't choose. We just have to make use of the time we have while we have it. I can't give up on myself and I sure as hell don't want my last thought to be something whiney and bitchy like, "I could have loved you better". Yeah, at that point I probably could have done a lot of things better, but why let THAT be your last thought. I want my last thought to be something good and profound. Or at least interesting. If there is some band of grim reapers out there I want them to look at my death and laugh. Oooohhh like if I feel off a building my last thought to be, "I didn't think THIS would be how I left my mark on the world" or if I was in car accident my last thought could be "They made this look a lot cooler in the crash test videos". Something smart ass and sassy like that. Why not? Do I want my last conscious thoughts in this plane to be something whinie and regretful. That would be an assertive HELL NO.
I've been letting all those voices in my head that are telling me I'm not good enough get to me. Like that voice of my mom telling me I'm not trying hard enough or my sister telling me I'm retarded and fat or my dad's voice telling me that I could stand to lose some weight. The voice of Eric in my head telling me how much of a whore I am and that I suck as a musician. Those voices are drowning out the voices that truly matter like Brian's who tells me how insane I am, but he loves it because I'm just like him. Adam's who tells me that I'm beautiful and cared for even when I don't feel that way. Chris' who is always singing my praises because he is amazed at the person I am. I have to really change the filter in my head. I think the shit has been blocking out all the good stuff I need to remind myself of every day.
I'm not conventionally beautiful, but I'm striking. There is something about me and my demeanor that makes a person look twice at me. They don't know what it is about me that causes me to be attractive, but it's there. I like that. I like the fact I'm willful and stubborn. I like that I make friends easily and that I try to do what is right. Those are the things I need to remind myself of. The things that I like about myself. The things that I have that a lot of people envy. I don't need to constantly let assholes like Eric tell me I'm worthless and actually believe it. OH he can tell me I'm worthless... but just because that's what he believes does not make it true. People think that I'm fat... some think I'm skinny. What do I think? I think I would love to start working out more to tone up but by no means and I'm FAT. I'm not a whore either. Do I enjoy sex? YES. But I don't go finding some random guy and sleep with them. I don't EVER have one night stands either. I always have known the people I sleep with for quite sometime before I even try anything. Anyway, the point of this tirade is that its not about what other people think of me. Other people can't think for me. I can't only think for me. I'm the only one that can say how my life goes or even how I SEE life. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you look at it.
I don't want my last thought to be something I regret. If I continue on this mental path of self destruction then it will be full of regret and remorse. Fuck that. I'm stronger then that and I'm certainly better then that.
Currently Watching
Dead Like Me Seasons 1 and 2 Bundle
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Monday, May 05, 2008
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Random Ponderings
Do you ever feel like you have become a shell of who you truly are? That the fight that you have been putting up for so long has finally ended and you have given in. There was a moment of weakness when the enemy broke through and you were left to slowly wither away inside your body. Like you do things that you really don't want to do, but you do them any way. I mean you are willing to put your body through pain and your heart/soul through such emotional beating just to feel any type of something at all. It's almost like you are walking around your body is dragging you like a balloon. You are floating above everything and not really feeling connected to ANYTHING. You are sorta watching your body go through the motions. Watching it do the things you don't want it do or do want it to do. Your body smiles and laughs and cries at the precise moment it needs to, but you really don't FEEL those emotions. It is like a REaction more then an action itself. Well... I'm sure that there will be more later, but I can't think of anything else to say.
annabelled
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- Name: Anna
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 12/18/2007
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About Me
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I'm a woman who is still trying to find her way out of her cocoon of girlhood. Just trying to find my niche in this big universe and hopefully make a statement while I'm doing it.
Pulse
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Planning a party isn't that bad... unless you've slept with your client before.
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I'm wondering if life is all going to make sense one day and if I'm ever going to know that the hell is going on.
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I'm making the decision that I'm going to make different choices for myself this time around. I have the opportunity to be better.
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