i dont know where to begin. i dont even know where you're coming from. its gotten to the point where i cant spend more than 30 seconds with you without it being stressful. it doesnt make any sense to me, you're going on about anything you can find for god knows what purpose. whenever i actually run into you, you waste no time getting down to buisiness. you literally attack me. yeah, so im careless and i procrastinate. what of it? what i need to get done, gets done. when and how it is done is of no concern to you. this is my life. im going to spend my free time the way i chose. i am going to hang around the people i like. and i will not comply. i am not fucking doing my tasksto your liking. i am not going to go out of my way to get something miniscule done a day sooner just to please you. no.

so far this week i've heard what i think might be your worst. so far i have been called lazy for not working on my neighbor's lawn when it has been raining and on the week tom comes home. plus i put in 40 hours each week at an actual job so i think it is more than clear why i havent been able to get over there. not laziness. just priorities. i've also gotten shit for not cleaning my wrecked car out "two weeks ago" when it had been totaled just 3 days prior. what the fuck. that one just flat out doesnt even make sense. i havent seen you in three or four days and the only thing you could seem to bring up is how pissed off you are because i had friends come over at 12 and i had a girl stay the night a while back. so i cant even begin to reason with this, why would it matter if roman and jami came over around 12 if there were A)already people at my house, and B)you would have allowed them to stay until 2 anyway. i dont see why it would matter if they came here at 10 or if they came here at 12. and its not that they woke you up or anything, you had no idea they were even here until i said something. and why would it matter if jami stays the night? im fucking twenty, i have a girlfriend who is NOT jami, and its cool if tom crashes here and im about equally as close to him. i think its pretty clear i'd keep it in my pants so thats not the reason.

i cant honestly tell you whats going on but at some point in my life you turned bitter on me, because shit has been like this for years, just progressively getting worse. and its just you. mom seems to be very pleased with who i am but you're somehow just never happy. and i no longer care. i am no longer afraid of you so i will not obey. at this point im just calling you out on this shit and making you look dumb in front of your wife and daughter. its rediculous, aggrivating, and is actually causing me problems. when i know i cant come home if i wish to avoid all this foolishness, that is stress. and im sick of it. when very few aspects of my life have turned out favorable in the past nine months and i feel like i maybe finally getting a grip on everything stress is something i dont need. and im thinking i dont need you.

Just because I can