| AAAHHHH!!! I feel like im about to go insane...again...I just feel...blah! It's been a long time since I wrote a real Xanga. I guess i've just been too busy to write about the stupid little shit that happens in my life. It's funny that I stop writing in it after I pay $25 for a year's subscription.
I've basically been working full-time, or near full-time the entire summer. I said I wanted to hang out with people from high school, and other people from the RR that came back, but it never happened. Basically Steve, Cassie, Albert and I hung out the whole summer, going in Albert's fabulous pool/hot tub. I still go to the RR alot, and they started a new program called the "Peer Educators". Sometime in the fall, i'll be going around to schools/rehab clinics/etc. doing programs about sex education, Planned Parenthood Services, and STIS and Prevention. I like being more involved...it makes me feel good.
I have to start thinking about if I want to go to Penn State Main in Sept. 2006, or transfer to a residential college around here. Ones I have been thinking about are WCU and Penn (although I don't think i'd ever get into it). I have however, been building my resume, and making bonds with people who can give good recomendations over the last year though, so I dunno....
Me and Steve are still together. Over the summer our relationship has just grown and gotten exponentially better. He's about to leave for college in 6 days, which is hitting me right now, and i'm not dealing with it very well. I'm just feeling nervous/scared/ and basically a whole bunch of bad emotions. My BIGGEST fear is that he'll just completely ignore me, like he'll have no time for me anymore once he meets 1,000,000 new people and has 1,000,000 more things to attend to. Those who know me know that I usually think about the bad things before I think about the good things. It's going to be so weird noth aving him around all the time. We've been basically attached to each other the entire summer....what am I saying? The entire 13 1/2 months we've been in a relationship. I never really realized how much of a huge part of my life he is, and how I take for granted the fact that it's very convienient to be with him... I love him so much  Blah...im scurred...
I bought a new laptop not too long ago after selling my old one to Steve. It's an Apple iBook 14 inch. I ABSOLUTELY love it. The whole layout of a macintosh, the look, and just everything about it is 1 million times better.
As of right now, i'm still working at Giant in the Deli. I only am going to be working about 18 hours tops during school, so i can attend to things such as being a peer educator, going to WC to visit steve, and schoolwork. I might apply to some restaurants, just because I believe right now is a good time since all of the older, more experienced servers are leaving their "summer jobs" to return to college. I have school Monday-Thursday (930-1215 on MW and 8-1215 on T and R). Since i'm not taking afternoon classes anymore, I should have more time in my day, because before I would do absolutely nothing in the morning, and then not have any time to do anything at night because i would get out of school at 6:00. I don't think i'll mind waking up at 7:00 for school, because i'm still just as motivated to go this year as I was last year. The fact that financial aid covers everything, and i owe nothing for my semester bill is also a HUGE incentive to keep up the good work. After going to Europe in May and June, it's a big relief to not have to pay $1600 + books each semester, out of my own pocket.
I had surgery on the vericose vein in my penis this past Tuesday. At first I was really nervous about getting it done, but I honestly don't remember anything. The only reminder I have is the faint paint that is still left from the cut I have in my abdomen. The doctor tied off a few veins that go down there, and in 4 to 6 weeks the huge vein engulfing the area around my balls should be gone. He said that when he opened me up, the veins were so big you "could drive a truck through them". I'm looking forward to not having it hurt, or affect my bodily functions anymore. I have off until the 27th, and already I don't know what to do with myself I'm so bored. Whenever I was working a busy I always HATED it, but I now realize that I would go crazy if I weren't. If anything, the extra time off will make me better able to appreciate the fact that I have no time for myself, when my new schedule starts this fall.
Phillies are still in the race for the playoffs! I'm not as excited about baseball this summer as I have been in the past. It's provavly just because I've been so busy I don't have time to be anymore.
I don't think I have anything else to say! Blah!.
--- Anthony
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