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arauten
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Name: Alyssa
Birthday: 7/17/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: dancing, swimming laps, talking, watching movies, being goofy, spending hours and hours in studio, going out to eat, riding in mle's jeep,
Expertise: talking, eating, being sarcastic
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art
Message: message me
AIM:  syphillyssa
MSN: leepoo11@hotmail.com
Member Since:
12/8/2003
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| i talked to red girl and rani and joe joe tonight (good friends from the dinnerbel). i really cant wait to graduate and move home. theres so much there i care about so much that ive been missing for four years. talking to rani was really nice. i miss him, he's a really good guy. he's taking me for a ride on his new harley. so excited :) 15 days!!! | | |
| ok, since i had a complaint from a certain someone about not writing for more than two months, im now updating. the semester is almost over, i graduate in 22 days, and i couldnt be more excited. i have a job at KKE Architects in Minneapolis after i graduate, so thats fantastic. Im going to be living with my parents for the summer (if not the whole year) and bartending at the Dinnerbel still to save money for grad. school. And speaking of grad school, i found a program in England at the University of Bath. Its a one year masters of science in the conservation of architectural studies. I emailed the contact and she said I am eligible. So looks like im applying to live and take classes in England for a year!!! My sister and i are taking a trip out there in August to look at the school and Oxford as well, i couldnt be more excited. This semester has been interesting. Only three classes, so ive had lots of free time. Unfortunately Ive been sick for most of the semester. I cuaght something down in Florida over spring break (which was freaking fun!!!!) and had bronchitis for a month or so. After that got better, my neck got ornery and I slipped a disk in my neck, so ive been in quite a bit of pain this last week. I spent most of studio on tuesday crying at my desk until my professor and classmates forced me to go to the school clinic and get painkillers. Theyre not helping so I need to go to a chiropractor on Monday before I die. Studio is done in about 11 days, holy crap! so excited. I have lots to do though! eek. So i have one short paper, a project for 302, and two finals left!!!! weeeeeeeeeee. ok, was that enough for you pucas? | | |
| hey hey whats shakin'? well, school's started up again, it's weird. i dont like it. i want to be back in europe, traveling and seeing things and enjoying myself. i frankly have the worst senioritis ever. ugh. my studio is interesting, and only one day a week, but it's a lot of work. christine quit microcosm and joined building enclosures with me, so that's been fun!
have been going out a lot lately, seeing old friends and new friends, its fun to be 21 in milwaukee :) went to vituccis for ladies night with the gang from freshman year. holy cow it was fun. totally sentimental. then buckheads the night after that for ladies night. danced our asses off. so fun. haha. last night... studio party at the red dot. good times as well, weird seeing that many architecture students in one place at one time.
well, im so excited to go home for spring break, i miss home and sort of feel out of place here. i dont like the feeling. but, it'll get better hopefully. and always remember to smile well.
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Appearance
[ ] I am shorter than 5'4.
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[x] I have many scars.
[ ] I tan easily.
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[x] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x ] have/I've had braces.
[x] wear glasses.
[x] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100 safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[x] I have more than 2 piercings.
[x] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[ ]I have freckles.--used to at least
[ ] I have ugly feet
Family/Home Life
[x] I've sworn at my parents
[x] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.
School/Work
[x] I'm in school.
[x] I have a job.
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[x} I almost always do my homework.
[ ] I've missed a week or more of school.
[x] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[ ] I've stolen something from my job
[ ] I've been fired.
Embarrassment
[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[x] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x] I've glued my hand to something
[ ] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[x] I've had my pants rip in public
[ ] I've peed my pants in public from laughing to hard
Health
[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.(kind of)
[ ] I've gotten stitches.
[x] I've broken a bone.
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[x] I've sat in a doctors office with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[x TWICE] I've had chicken pox.
Traveling
[x-all too often] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I've been on a plane.
[x] I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[x] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[x] I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[x three times ] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.
Experiences
[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x twice] I've seen a shooting star.
[x] I've wished on a shooting star.
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[ ] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[x] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[x] I've gone skinny dipping.
[x] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I've crashed a car.
[x] I've been Skiing
[x] I've been in a play.
[x] I've met someone in person from the internet.
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[x- twice, beautiful!] I've seen the Northern Lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[x] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[x] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] I've eaten Sushi.
[x] I've been snowboarding.
Sexuality
[ ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.
Honesty/Crime
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[ ] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ ] I am keeping a secret from the world
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[x] I've run a red light.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[x] I've witnessed a crime.
[ ] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.
[ ] I've shoplifted.
Drugs/Alcohol
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[x] I regularly drink.
[ ] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[x] I've smoked weed
[ ] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[x] I can't swallow pills.
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[ ] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[x not anymore] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[ ] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[ ] I'm addicted to self harm.
[ ] I've woken up crying.
Death and Suicide
[ ] I'm afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[x-worst feeling ever, an animal] I've seen someone dying.
[x] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[x] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[ ] I've planned my own suicide.
[ ] I've attempted suicide.
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself.
Materialism
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[x] I own something from The Gap.
[ ] I own something I got on e-bay.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.
Random
[x] I can sing well.
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[x] I open up to others easily.
[x] I watch the news.
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[x] I curse regularly.
[x] I sing in the shower.
[x] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[x] I'm a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I twirl my hair
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name
[ ] I love being neat
[ ] I love Spam
[x] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day
[x] I bake well.
[ ] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
[x] I would wear pajamas to school.
[x] I like Martha Stewart.
[ ] I know how to shoot a gun.
[ ] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[ ] I eat fast food weekly.
[x] I believe in ghosts.
[not til school starts] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[x] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I love white chocolate
[x] I bite my nails.
[ ] I play video games.
[x] I'm good at remembering faces.
[x freakishly] I'm good at remembering names [x] I'm good at remembering dates.
[ ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[x oui oui] My answers are totally honest
thanks pucas, that kept me entertained for about 15 minutes :)
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| i could probably go on and on about stuff thats going on in my life right now for 5 hours. i dont even know where to begin. i feel like im so fucked up. and i know exactly where it starts. word of advice. dont start friends with benefits. it sucks. its quite possibly the worst feeling in the world. especially when you fall for that person. like an idiot, thinking that eventually they'll want to date you. but they dont, you keep sleeping together, giving them everything, and they still wont date you. theyll sleep with you and kiss you and act like they like you, but they wont date you. and then you realize, wow im a complete dumbass. he's getting sex with no commitment. what the hell was i thinking he'd want to step it up to a relationship. and then you cry, and you feel like a fool. but it keeps happening between the two of you becasue there's something there, something more than sex. but still, he wont date you. he doesnt compliment you, he wont hold your hand. and all the while youre giving everything to him. listening to him. laughing with him. giving him backrubs, rubbing his stomach....all because you think he'll soon realize how great you are. but then he doesnt. and it starts to lower your self esteem. and the further it goes on, the worse you feel about yourself. and you cry to him, telling him how much it's hurting you, and he holds you and apologizes, but does it change anything? nope. not at all. and then youre kicking yourself in the ass for wiating for him for so long, for thinking he's so great. wrong. he treats you like shit. you cry yourself to sleep...in europe. IN EUROPE. what an idiot. i ruined my trip over him. and its killing me. i want to call him all the time to yell at him, yell at him for FUCKING ME UP. for ruining my self esteem. for making me not trust men. for making me cry. all the time. cuz he's not worth it, but you thought he was. and you shudder at the thought of how much you wnated him, how much it hurt when he'd sleep with you, then roll over and not hold you at all, not hold your hand. OH MY GOD IT MAKES ME ACHE. its so screwed up. so. painful. so fucking painful. i feel used. and im crying. hating myself for all of this. wishing i wouldnt have to see him. because he's my best friend, but it kills me to think of all of it. and then you hear a song on the radio thats the perfect song...the song that you sing as hard as you can, while driving...sobbing down the road. its so fucked up. he says he likes you, but he doesnt want to date you. he says that it wouldnt work. but he'll sleep with you. i shouldve seen this coming. i shouldve saved my heart from this shit. and its starting to make me angry. starting to convince me to swear off sleeping with someone until they will date me first. cuz well, whats the fucking point? i never even got off anyway. then, you meet someone. someone older, who makes you so happy. he's sweet to you. compliments you. all that jazz. then he turns into a drunken asshole and scares the hell out of you. you leave for a few days to get away. come back, hang out iwth him and a few friends. and he expects to be able to kiss you again, have you sleep over again. youre tempted but then realize that your heart is hurting so much right now that you couldnt even handle another guy treating you like this, treating you like shit and expecting you to be his fucking orgasm box. not happening. at least you feel smart about totally denying him. im so sick of crying. i am SO sick of crying. im so sick of feeling used. feeling like an idiot for falling for someone who wont even date me, who doesnt like me. i recite "dont make someone a priority if they only consider you an option" over and over and over again in my head, trying to figure out how this all started, how i let it get this far. this is probably the worst ive felt in as long as i can remember. and i hate that its becuase of a guy. its such bullshit. he's such bullshit. | | |
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