ask_us101's Xanga

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Thu, 08 Sep 2005 18:26:53 GMT

forty_9_cent,

we say go for meeting him. although it's taken us a long time to get back to ya, so you may have already done it. maybe you can go scope him out before you meet him or something. or you can talk to him more on the net and see if you feel like meeting him. but always be careful when meeting someone from the internet.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Thu, 25 Aug 2005 20:12:29 GMT

forty_9_cent......seems like you know the answer.....

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Sun, 21 Aug 2005 20:43:02 GMT

Alllatsea, I actually think that a doctor’s appt is a good excuse! I mean, it’s vague, it could mean dentist, gynecologist, surgeon, family doctor, etc. or you could tell her that you have a date. Or that a relative that you never see will be driving through town and you need to have lunch with them. Or you could tell her that you need to go to the town hall as you are receiving a reward for your stellar civic duties. Or that you need to go to the hospital because the candy stripers are having a get together and you are the keynote speaker. That is all we could think of, good luck!

Frozenpenguin32, Our take on change?? Well we guess it depends on what kind of change it is. If it’s regarding diapers, change is definitely a good thing. If you mean the money change, we think you should definitely keep it and put it in a piggy bank to save for something that you really want. If you mean like, life change…it depends on if it’s a change that you want. Regardless of what you want, things will change around you and the only thing that you can do is go through it w/ the best attitude that you can. It’s your choice whether or not you will have a smooth transition or not.

Jackie, We think it’s safe to say that if this guy hasn’t called you for two weeks, then you’re probably not dating him. You definitely need communication for a relationship to work. I think that you seem really confused w/ all of the guys in your life. Sometimes a girl just needs to take a break from guys and take some time to find out what what she really wants and who she really is. That’s hard to do when you’re constantly in a relationship and always worrying about the other person, etc. We say that maybe you should ditch guys for a bit and find out who Jackie really wants.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 18:24:11 GMT

Hey all sorry for the lack of posts lately - I guess life just kind of got ahold of us and kept us from the world of xanga. But keep your questions coming - we're here.

Yobhsif ~ yeah I think you should go for symmetry - my cousin did the back tatoos and has one on each shoulder and it looks pretty good. You are a brave man dealing with all those needles.

Baby_blue_angle07 ~ That's a tough question. Long distance relationships can work, but only if both people are committed. How far away does he live? Then I would ask how well do you know him? If it's a brand new guy, it's going to be even harder, but if it's someone you already know then you'll probably have an easier time. I don't think I could personally do a long distance relationship, but I've seen it done and have seen it end in marriage, so anything's possible. You have to decide how important this guy is to you and go from there.

Forty_9_cent ~ that's really hard. I've done the "date your best friend" thing and it can be great, but it makes it even harder if things don't work out. In my situation I'm still friends with the guy but it's just not the same. Plus you've got the problem of having to decide between two of your friends who both might have feelings for you. If they both do have feelings for you one if going to be hurt and that can ruin a friendship as well. But you don't want to pass up on something that could be great either. I guess you have to decide what's more important, friendship with these guys or a possible dating relationship.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Mon, 08 Aug 2005 20:48:02 GMT

Yobhsif ~

To have a party or to not have a party? Quite the dilemma :) Well, 20 is a big milestone, but don't forget, 21 is even bigger. But I would say if you want to celebrate w/ your friends and have a party to go for it, but if you're not up to hosting one, just get close friends together and find something fun to do. Since I've gotten older, I can't say that I've ever really thrown myself a big birthday party, usually I try to get my friends together and we go out to eat, or something crazy like that. But if you do have a party, there's a bigger chance for presents :) and that's always a plus. Here's what i think...I think you should have a tropical themed party - there's a lot of potential with that idea :) Good luck and let us know what you decide!

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Thu, 04 Aug 2005 23:47:42 GMT

forty_9_cent

Hey there - quite the predicament and I've been in similar situations. It basically comes down to the fact that you have to tell him - doing it and how you go about it that are the problems. You could do the avoidance thing, or find someone to tell him for you and even though they seem the easiest for you, they're pretty much bad ideas. My advice...tell him you need to talk, and that'll probably give him the hint that something's wrong and then tell him the truth. You love him as a friend but your feelings don't go beyond that. It's always hard to go back to just being friends (trust me I know) but it can be done. He's going to be the one who has to let go and he may not be happy about it at first and he may not want to be friends, but that's a risk you're going to have to take. Hopefully the friendship was strong enough so that it's more important to him than dating. Just tell him how you feel, that's the best way to go about it although I'd leave out the part about him being annoying and clingy :) And I should hope that since it's only been a few days he'll have an easier time of letting go. Well all I have left to say is good luck because the task you undertake isn't an easy one but it must be done. Let us know how it works out!

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Tue, 02 Aug 2005 23:22:03 GMT

Remember to leave your questions in the comments and we'll get back to them at the next post!

Jamborie ~ I think we need to point out a regularity here: I think that we’ve had at least 20 girls (ok I’m exaggerating) asking for advice on what to do with boys because the boys stopped talking to them after they’ve gotten physical. I’m thinking that this phenomenon is probably because they are too immature to handle the ramifications that come along w/ being physical. If he’s not mature enough to address issues that come about because of this, then obviously he’s not really worth pursuing as a romantic relationship. But I guess if you still want him as a friend you should talk to him…and just say, “hey, I miss you as a friend” - you’d be amazed at what being honest can accomplish. I think that in general, at 13, you probably should just hold off on physical relationships – I swear that older guys can handle them.

Yobhsif ~ What would we do for Klondike bars??? Haha…That’s not an advice question so I guess technically we don’t have to answer it!

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Sun, 31 Jul 2005 21:54:42 GMT

Hey there everyone......Remember that we answer your questions in the next post..not on your site....keep them coming!

to yobhsiF - Well my advice depends a lot on what you want to change
your major to - what is it?  Choosing something you love is important,
but you also want to be practical about it given our current economy. 
I know someone who was an English major and now she can't find a job
related to it, let alone any other kind of job.  Don't pick something
just because you'll have a job, but you do need to be practical.  What
do you see yourself doing for the rest of your life?  Answer that and
go from there - choose the major that will bring you closest to that
goal. - T

That’s a tough one! I changed my major like 4 times in college and didn’t declare one until my 
senior year. It went from English to marketing to psychology and back again. But it ended in 
psychology. While I can’t find a job in that area, I am so glad I did that because I wasn’t happier
 anywhere else. While on one hand it’s better to be practical and on the other…it’s like…
it’s your only life and you don’t want to look back and wish that you had stuck w/ what your 
hearts desire was. Let us know how it goes~ K

To xdarkinnkeeperx - _YOU HAVE TO BE HONEST! :)  I know it sucks and
he's going to get hurt but you have to break it off.  If you know for
sure that you don't want to be in the relationship then it's the only
choice.  You need to think about yourself and what you want because if
you're not happy now, it's not going to get better by getting married.
 I know from experience that one person's love isn't enough for a
relationship to work out.  He deserves to have someone love him the
same way you deserve to be completely in love with someone.  You'll
both end up miserable if you don't get out of it now and then longer
you put it off the harder it's going to be.  It's a hard situation and
I've been in it, except I've been on the other side - the one being
broken up with and I see now that I wasn't being loved the way I
deserved...and it wasn't his fault and it's not your fault, it's just
the way things work out sometimes.  You can't force yourself to love
somebody and when you try it'll only end badly.  I hope things work
out and good luck! T
__________________________-

Pretty much you should definitely be honest and break it off. You’re going to hurt him a lot more when your anxiety over the relationship grows and grows and then you have major meltdowns months before the wedding and then are faced w/ all of the extra stress of wondering whether you should call off a wedding in which many people have invested time and money into or spending the rest of your life w/ someone that you don’t really love therefore making life miserable for the both of you. Don’t dally w/ the boys heart any longer - K

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Sun, 31 Jul 2005 00:56:59 GMT

Elyk

An interesting question you pose Elyk. First of all I think you need to look at it from a bigger picture than income. Billy needs to think about his life as a whole and what he wants out of it. What is it that he loves to do? That makes him happy? Now look at the job…is this a job he enjoys or is just for a paycheck. I worked a job just for a paycheck before and I hated it. If this is a job he truly likes then I’d say go for it, but only if it makes him happy. But I also think getting a GED is super important. There are so many more opportunities for someone out there with a diploma. If I were to give cut and dry advice in this situation I would say for him to work on getting his GED while working this menial job. Then after he has it he can start to look for something better, something he wants to do. If it involves college, then go for it. I know it’s a hard decision to make, especially when the path he’s on now seems a heck of a lot easier than the other options, but he needs to decide what it is he wants. I’m a firm believer that whenever possible a job should be chosen, not for the money, but for happiness. I went into teaching because it’s what I love, definitely not to make a million bucks. I know it’s not always possible to chose what you love for a profession, but at least you can start from that point and choose a path that makes you happy.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Sat, 30 Jul 2005 00:31:10 GMT

Thegreatweevil,

I don’t know this girl, but it seems like she isn’t sure what she wants or she just wants to have fun. And now she’s going off to a school where you can’t date (what school, btw?)…it doesn’t sound so good to us. We know you want to wait for her, and you “think” that you love her, but 1 or 2 years is a long time. Why don’t you tell her how you feel then say that you don’t have to date while she’s gone…and then see how things are when she gets back? Honestly, her saying that she doesn’t want to hold you back almost sounds like that she would rather you not wait for her. Then again, we don’t know the whole situation and we don’t know her and girls are weird. Long distance relationships are tough if not almost impossible (I (k) was in one for four years) but they can work so it’s up to you guys to decide if you think it’s worth the commitment that it takes to endure the 2 years or if you’d rather just go separate ways with your love life but still remain close friends….let us know what you do!!!

Yobhsif,

Hey, thanks for writing again…we know that religion doesn’t have to be divisive if handled properly, but as a rule, it usually is. And with a site such as this, I’d rather not get religion involved. If we openly profess that we were muslims or Christians…or even wiccans – it just puts a bias into how people respond to us or our advice (which is sad, but true). We just don’t see it as an important piece of info at this time…that and it’s kind of fun having you want to know so badly! Just kidding J You’re questions are great but they’re not for advice…this is an advice site!! But K was a psychology major and T was a teachers Ed major.

CrazyD926

We’re not authorities on this at all and we’ve heard different things. I would go with “yes” to be on the safe side.

Lord _ofthesquabb

We think that honesty is the best policy and that you should just tell your friend your thoughts on the whole dating issue. I mean, yeah it’s a common excuse for not wanting to date someone, but also a good one. Just tell him that for now you don’t think it’s the best idea and if anything changes he’d be the first to know! Or you could always take a chance…do you like him back?