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| I must admit that I'm the absolute worst phone friend. I hardly call anyone and I barely answer my phone. Which makes for maintaining the few long distance friendships I have difficult because I also rarely get on any type of message service. Inevitably I feel bad about the whole thing and I resolve to be a better friend. It's just so tiresome to catch people up with everything that has happened in the last few months. So I write it down here where I know the people I'm talking about wont see.
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| I bought a grill today and we grilled. That's uhh the news guys.
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| here or there?Was it Christmas just a couple days ago?
As per usual I made several Christmas cards this year and also as per usual I failed to mail any of them because I apparently suck at postal service oriented activities.
Somehow I have to manage to decide a major? Everyone says I have time to make such a decision. The point, however, is this: I don't feel like I have this time at my disposal. There is an urgency involved in this choice. My career priorities from most important to least are: to love what I do, to do it well, to eat delicious foods, to have a long lunch break, and not be entirely poor. As a matter of a fact, how much any respective major/career choice might garner financially is not even something I consider. This really involves I think this fantasy life I've envisioned for myself: I go to school, major in what I love, do what I love wholeheartedly, throwing myself into my work and therefore leading a successful life because I have accomplished three major goals: doing something I love, doing it well, eating delicious foods. The problem is determining what I love to do? Why is it so difficult to definitively determine what it is you love. The only thing I love and know that I will always and forever love is my family. That love, however, is a love of always existing. That love has never not-been and therefore will always be. The other things I love are loves which have not always existed. I love to eat brussel sprouts (by which I mean I fucking love brussel sprouts).
Blah blah shut up.
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| I turned in my drawing portfolio today which means I'm entirely done with the semester. My grandmother is not in good health. I'm going to spend the first week of '08 with her. That's all I guess.
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| on what's up there:What creative force drives the universe?
At this point in my life I have no interest in God or the Divine really. Currently it has no relevance or importance to me. Religions interest me in the same way a good book does. It just seems to me that appreciation should be a religion. Compassion and interest in the well-being of all people should be a religion. I don't need to further submit my life to a higher power because I mean I already do that. I like to call it: People make their own decisions and things happen as a result and I can only really effect my own choices so why do I need to call it something other than what it is? I'm sure many people get comfort or happiness from their religion and sure okay more power to them. Does that mean I lack faith? I think not. I have faith that not everything will be okay but some things will. Shall I be cosmically punished for my lack of belief or my non-acknowledgment of God. Well if I am, fuck it, I think I've learned to roll with the punches over the years. I'm sure I'll make it because I do believe in the power of people. The power to change, to better, to understand, to love, to eat, and clean, and cook, and dance, and be.
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