astonecipher's Xanga

Number One Sister

Sat, 30 Aug 2008 12:08:45 GMT

My Sister is Number One!

It's True, my sister LuAnn is Number One!

Here are the reasons I say so:

1. She is the number one girl in our family.

2. She was the first to get a doll from our parents (ok, I think it is all right to let her win that one!)

3. She was the first to get a Carly Simon album and the first to play "You're So Vain". However, playing it 1,568 more times was a little much.

4. She was number one in saying, as I rigidly held to my seat trying to be safely embraced by it, "go upside-down one more time, Daddy" when Dad was trying to cure me of my motion sickness in the Cessna.

5. She was the first one in our family to show how an Oprah-style makeover does change your whole life.

6. She was number one in getting married.

7. She was the first one to tell me that I had a terrible laugh and to this day I can not laugh without thinking about her and wondering if she heard me.

8. She was the number one to tell me the red shirt with the zipper front and yellow borders was hideous, so I let her wear it and secretly laughed at her.

9. She was number one in having the first child and first to produce a girl.

10. She was number one in having a boy child.

11. Her family was the first of us to move to Joplin.

12. She was number one in giving me good advice about not buying a house on Moffett which I then proceeded to ignore. In the end, she was right, but not for the first time.

13. She was number one in having the first grandchild-thereby also providing the first great-grandchild for our parents (just by one month this time, but a win is a win!)

14. I was the first to write a 90,000 word book, but she was the first to actually write stuff that got published.....and get paid for it!

15. She is the number one person in our family to have a birthday today and be ......-years-old for the first time of any girl in our family.

So, Congratulations on having made it this far and if sometime you are alone (how could you be with that many kids!) and you hear sardonic laughter echoing through the lonely halls of your mind, it's not me, ok?

June 20...The Nexus of the Universe

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:37:55 GMT

I just can't stand it anymore.....I have discovered that June 20 is the Nexus of the Universe....Perhaps you would understand it if I explain it more. All right, the first point of this great discovery is that my Dad was born on that day. Ok, I know that by itself may not be enough to explain it, but I am a first born of a first born and qualified, even though flawed, to be a pioneer of the Universe....Need I say more!!! Ok, I will....That day is also the Summer Solstice. The day, for those of you who got a C- or less in Science, is the day on which the sun has progressed as far as it can go into the Northern Hemisphere and cannot travel further because of exhaustion or....yes, because it has met it's match in the Ultimate .... person of that very unique last name.

Just today, yes, on this day the day of the bad luck which is not bad luck because the other penultimate .... person of that very unique last name, ok, just ask him if he is, but who else knows all there is to know about Dr. Who who is "you know who", need I say more? born on a similar Friday the 13th, I discovered the final straw.

A straw is of course many things, but on this day I also found out that my school manager's father was born on, "you guessed it", June 20. Also on this same day my student "Gift" who will go to America next year and who has never given me a gift, but because of Thai custom I never mention this because to mention it would taint any future gift, was also born on June 20.

And...just this week my new Indian students who are not Indian students, but instead are born in Thailand of first and second generation Indian parents which makes them Thai-Indian or Indian-Thai, which should be mentioned first is not clear, told me that, even though they are not twins, they are cousins who are born on, "you guessed it again", June 20, just one year apart.

Folks, all of these revelations all happened in one week and even though I now live not far from the "Golden Triangle" of Burma, Thailand and Laos this boy who has never indulged in any mind poisoners from that area which might have inspired such a revelation which has struck me tonight now knows that, when my father took me up in his Cessna to cure me of motion sickness and all other earthly weaknesses, he had knowingly done so to take me closer to Heaven and reveal to me his Universal origins which I had heretofore been unaware of until the revelation of that moment. Of such events are true Heroes revealed.

If all that was not enough, contemplate this, for when this date falls on a Sunday, it is Father's Day! I can run, but I can not hide, June 20 is the Nexus of the Universe and it can not be ignored any farther, or "father"! I acquiesce.

By the way, Dad, very cool pictures of you and the other "dudes". No one else will every match the four riders of the sky of the Bevington "....'s Skelly" and.....there is nothing else "Shorty" about you, for if anyone is a "Shorty" I am, as the shortest of your three sons, but for sure I am one heavy, "98KG and counting", son of a man who is also of substance, because for Al Lee ...., 74 years wise and long from ready to ride into the sunset, there is still yet much to be done to right the wrongs and embrace the Wrights.

It's Heeeeeeeeeeeeer

Sat, 24 May 2008 23:40:28 GMT

Happy Birthday Evren! The Big Three!

The grandson of the present King and future King of Thailand is also three this week, but guess who my favorite three-year-old is?

Mom's .... Years-Old Today!

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 16:09:44 GMT

Mom's temporarily only one year behind Dad today, as if she is competing with him with the same verve with which she faces most things in life. Sorry, Mom, I had to put four dots in the Title above for the age blank, but only to create a big enough space, not because I am trying to say your age is in four digits.

Sister, Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Great-Grandmother, Aunt, Great-Aunt, Great-Great Aunt, Valedictorian, Forward in the old Iowa girls' basket regime where three girls played only one half-court and the other three the other half-court (forgive me if my memory is defective and you were actually a Guard). Superwoman (related in a previous web blog), College student, Secretary, Sweet Adeline's Singer, Limousine Driver (station wagon that picks up three kids after school while bringing along a baby and toddler, to those readers less informed), clarinet player, smasher or baritone horns and teacher of a dumb 5-year-old who can't blow a bubble from bubble gum even after several lessons and couldn't learn to tie his shoes because his left-handed brain could not follow her right-handedness.

She's tough, but young at heart and doesn't ever look her age. I have just a few stories to tell, but the most interesting thing about them is that she told them to me, elsewise I would have never known that they happened. Because even her youngest children were getting old enough to not need much babysitting, Mom decided one year after I graduated to take some business classes at my alma mater, Graceland College. Mom told me later that when she spoke to one teacher and related her name he asked her, "Are you Randy's Sister?" Mom was especially pleased to tell me that one, but it was especially true. Many was the time that Mom and I went somewhere together only to find people tongue-tied about whether we were a couple or not and it was not because I looked especially mature. Or, there were the times I was asked if Mom was my Dad's young second wife when she had only the two youngest with her. But you can't look young on the outside if you're not young on the inside, I learned that lesson well and have used it to never grow up, sorry, Mom.

This one is actually about me, but says her first-born had the ability to make her proud. One time she went to the dentist in Chariton to pay a bill for some of her children's dental care and when she arrived she announced her name to the receptionist. A woman in the waiting room heard her say her name and asked her, "Are you Randy's Mom?" She answered yes and then the woman related, "He runs like the wind!" Mom was proud to tell me that story and I was proud to hear it.

This is the same woman who stormed into the offices of the Chariton Herald after a particular exploit by this same boy and ripped the editor up one side and down the other who was responsible to adding a letter to our four-letter last name, making it five letters and most incorrect. The body of the article had the name spelled correctly, but the sports headline was wrong because he and other people can not believe that our name is not a color. That newspaper never spelled our name wrong again.

So, Mom Happy Birthday, and don't worry, I have more stories I'll be thinking about for next year because they're better than pictures, don't you think, LOL. Yes, I jumped the gun, but I wanted to be first, but only by one hour, ok, so to those who might get confused, Mom's BD is the 28th.

Songkran means never having to say you are sorry! When you get someone wet!!!

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 05:44:26 GMT

We here in Thailand are lucky to have so many holidays, in fact we have three New Years'! The first is the Western New Year of January 1. The second is the Chinese New Year and since it is based on the moon, this year it was February 7. The third is the Thai New Year, designed to coincide with the hottest time of the year, the Thai Summer of February 15 to July 1, the hottest month of them all being April, so people might as well have fun since it is too hot to work and can cool down with splashing water as well. These summer months do not coincide with northern temperate season of summer, mostly for one big reason, in July the monsoons from India come to Thailand and cool things down when they should actually be hotter yet, but instead act to otherwise moderate this tropical clime.

My previous photos from northern Thailand were taken during my Western New Years' holiday and these new photos are from my 10 day holiday which I will have completed tomorrow, having just today already returned to Bangkok. Yes, I have gained a considerable amount of weight and have no easy explanation for it, but am going to implement whatever measures are necessary, since I am huffing and puffing these days and am not even running to get out of breath. I had planned to run during this holiday, but I was simply too fat and it was too hot. They would have been BBQing me as my own road-kill if I had pursued my plan.

Thai city dwellers and especially teenagers have abused this holiday by getting out their mega water guns and even include buckets of ice-laden water in a water-throwing frenzy from speeding pickup trucks. I prefer the up-country (country outside of Bangkok) way of celebrating the holiday, which is what the water throwing frenzy was devilishly transformed from, of going to the house of your relative elders and village elders and participating in a water-pouring ceremony which is called in English "apologizing". This shows respect to the elders and creates a bond of consideration.

Last year in this same village I visited 10 houses and this year visited 7 houses, one of the elderly ladies from last year having passed away when I was in the village in December. My previous Songkrans had been spent, respectively, in Bangkok, Pattaya (3 times) and Hua Hin, but these had been participations in the wilder, modern Songkran and I like the up country one much more, although many of these photos show an area where the dam environs are opened up to the public, just once a year for this holiday, so there is wading and swimming and eating and music, but no skimpy bathing outfits.

Three Little Maids We Are From School.....The Mikado

Tue, 19 Feb 2008 14:01:28 GMT

Mina, Michiko, Their ESL Teacher and Sachiko. They don't really sing in the Mikado, but they laugh at my jokes as if it were to music and support Thailand, dancing while they shop for bags at Chatuchak Weekend Market. Just today they finished their 30 hour English course because Sachiko will be returning to Japan with her husband whose job will send him to back there after they have been in Thailand for 4 years and now they all three can speak English perfectly..........nah!!!! But they did improve a lot and learned a lot of new words and Mina wrote a nice email to me to go with these pictures. They had a good time while learning and I had a good time and now they are my friends for life.

A Day Late...And 32.5 Bahts Short....

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 06:36:44 GMT

I fully intended to steal a march since I am a full twelve hours ahead of anyone who shares my DNA, but the Internet (does not deserve a capital letter!!) at my apartment was down for renovations (we don't have a clue what we are doing, but this thing called technology can help us get the Manchester United Scores in real time, not tape delay). So, here I am a day late and a baht short (for those Thai challenged, that is the name for money here) in wishing my sister Happy Birthday!!!!

But the advantage I did somehow gain was to use cute pictures (Dear Sister, time has not been kind to any of us!!!) she sent me a year ago of her offspring (hint, hint, you can send more!!!) And so, Happy 37th Birthday and I hope your presents were too big and your candles too few.

ESL is Heartbreaking Work.....

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 02:02:25 GMT

ESL (English as a Second Language) can be heartbreaking work. If you don't want to see the door hitting their backside as they head for the airport and America or England, don't teach them or encourage them by telling them they are smart and ambitious enough to do it. Instead, tell them that their background (from Isan) or their orthodox shyness or their Thailish (English as attempted to be spoken by Thai people) or their intelligence (only 4.0 GPA) is not good enough for the ol' USA or those stuck-up Oxford types.

Despite my best attempts to slow them down my speech betrayeth me and they learn and leave me anyway, SIGH! About 25 of my students are, even as we speak, infiltrating Western culture and poisoning it with their saccharin smiles and overly courteous ways. If you happen by the campuses of MIT or Stanford or Harvard, watch out, and more so if they ask you, "Where is the Taco Bell? Mr. Randy wanted me to take a picture of it and eat taco for him."

Happy Birthday Ariel Michaelah!!!!!!

Sat, 19 Jan 2008 12:14:36 GMT

I am happy to announce the 25th anniversary of the birth of our lovely daughter, Ariel Michaelah on this august day of 19 January, 2008. In Thailand we sing the happy birthday song over and over till we get too tired to do it again, not that wimpy once that Americans do, but they do seem to forget the name of who they are singing for, maybe then they are really singing it for everybody in the world, but today first they will sing it for Ariel.

See MistressofOranges's Xanga site for mostly pics of Evren, but some of our lovely progeny as well, as she is now older and wiser and better.

Randy

Mystery Relative in Thailand lives despite battles against white elephants and looming temples.

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 14:50:04 GMT

Thanks to a heads-up from the brave Anita, suffering from too much sun and warm temperatures in the distant land of California, I have discovered relatives I thought lost to me, but alas, they have been altered by time and place and are no longer recognizable to me.

I wish to be reacquainted with these peoples wandering in the cold lands of America. Can they recognize me? Alas, again, due to the attacks on technology in these parts, people being partial to making fire with sticks and suchwhat, the internet runs slow and uploading photos is hindered by the evil lord Time-Out, causing my image to not be available to such which would wish to view it and be refreshed by my existence.

Tune in next week, or at such a time when I am able to wield once more the Flaming Sword of Eden in protecting the Tree and reducing slow internet response times.

Rejoice!, I at least was finally able to download this low kb image, which with the aid of a telescope or fine pair of binoculars, can discern my features. I will try to download a new photo each day, finally delineating every wrinkle and wart of my scintillating features.