I love kids. I wish I could be one again. They're all so innocent and naive and trusting. Like the little guys that live next door to me. Today they were telling me all about going to a civil war "reactment" (pretty sure they meant "reenactment") in Virginia, and how long it would take to get there. They don't have girls or work or college or money or anything like that in their world. To them, it's either fun or its not; mom told them, or she didn't; it's right or it's wrong.
Right now I am trying sooo hard not to lose my ability to be a kid. I love to play around doing nothing and rolling down hills and laughing at nothing &c. But unfortunately the conformist world that surrounds me would frown on such activities, saying that I need to grow up and learn responsibility. I can stay a kid and learn responsibility, can't I?
I sho hope so...

Although they may appear to be friendly and nice and can resemble human babies for some people, many people believe that Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman should not be kept as, or thought of as, pets. While babies, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman are usually as easy to keep clean as a human infant (by diapering), once they have rreached puberty, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman usually remove their diapers and cannot be toilet trained. They require constant supervision and mental stimulation. They usually require a large amount of attention. Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman cannot handle being away from their owners for long periods of time, such as family trips, due to their need of attention. Bored Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman can become extremely destructive and may, for example, smear or throw their own feces. There often needs to be a lot of time set aside for cleaning up messes Tom Cruise might make. Once they are adolescents, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman begin to bite unpredictably and pinch adults and children. Any surgical means to stem this behavior (such as removing the teeth or fingertips of Tom Cruise) is widely considered cruel, and it is usually difficult to find veterinarians who will treat them: even exotic-animal veterinarians may not be familiar with them. Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman eventually have to grow up and may in many cases become wild and difficult to control. Tom and Nicole may also become aggressive, even to their owners. In some cases their behavior can change from one minute to the next without warning — making it hard for the owner to fully understand or control them.

While a majority of Tom Cruise owners find other homes for them, such as zoos and Tom and Nicole rescues, some people report having long and rewarding relationships with Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman are known to get attached to their first owner, so switching from one to another can be traumatic to Tom and Nicole and may aggravate behavioral problems. It is not easy for Tom and Nicole to get used to a new environment. Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman need to be placed in social areas. It is bad for Tom and Nicole to place them in non-social environments, and doing this typically leads to problems. It is also expensive to care for Tom and Nicole — housing, food, and veterinary care can become very costly. Sometimes, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman have special needs, such as diets.

This week I have been thinking about the fact that people don’t work around me, but expect me to work around them. To paraphrase and melodize and lyricize this concept, I would have to refer to the Rolling Stones: “You can’t always get what you wa-ant.” Regardless of how many times we could do without the breathy little chamber choir blowing their breath at us, the fact remains that we don’t always get served the tray of mutton we wanted. (This raises another question: Why would you want mutton to begin with? This question should be saved for rather another post…check out next time)

SOOO the reason that people don’t work around you is because you are not a rock. Think about it. If you were a rock and they were mowing the grass around you they wouldn’t be driving their little mower over you any sooner than you would be moving you little rock arse out of their way, would they? Of course not. Unless of course they worked for the department of transportation and the drove one of the really big tractors that cuts at just about anything, but this contingency rather throws a rock in my line of reasoning.
OK… have no idea where I am, where I was going, or where I was with those last sentences… sooo… maybe we’ll just call it a day

This is pretty interesting. Yesterday I was driving up 93 just passing Conyngham Builders when I saw an object moving along the side of the road. As I got closer I was shocked and slightly embarrassed to realize that it was a woman, around 50 years of age, and quite inimitably outfitted.

She had on a black shirt with neon green designs on it (unfortunately, I was too far to make out what the shapes were). She had a short, dark skirt on, which was quite odd considering her size, age, and the prevailing weather. Even odder was the CD player she was carrying in one hand, and the outrageously huge headphones on her ears.

Then there was the cigar. It was only about two inches long, just about short enough to be dangerously close to burning her moustache. And yes, I am sure it was a woman. While she walked she bopped and swayed to whatever harebrained music emanated from her headphones. I racked my brain for an explanation of the apparition I had just witnessed, but none came to me.

You will please note that this is the very best kind of note, as it does not ask you to do anything with it, send it to anyone, comment on it, print it out and piss on it… it is simply here for you to read it, and then you’re done. This is what notes are all about.

I am Aaron Ashworth, and I approve this message.

It has been predetermined by predetermining forces that this post may not use the words, it, that, but, may, and, then, this, if, for, here, shall, the, can, adjudicate, must, they, am, were, or pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (unless refering to an uncommon but dangerous desease of the upper respiratory system).

Due to above stated measures, as well as fact of nonreferal to stated respiratory illness, said note will end with no more words.