Writing.

To write is a mysterious endeavor. It is one that I feel inadequate to make. There are stories and ideas that dance in front of my mind's eye...but I push them away and say, "Oh, that is just stupid"...or, "That would take WAY too long to finish."

Must one seek God on what to write? Or does the seeking and finding come through writing...or is it both? What if I feel like my writing is not great enough, then what?I remember when someone at school who was a Bio major got a better grade in English than I did. My life (I thought heavily for a moment)was over. I could never be an author.

But God has later revealed that all I held as mine is truly His. Including my writing. I am trying be balanced and stable on the idea that my success as an author is not in the amount of books sold at a certain price, it is not in the cuteness of the cover, or in the popularity I gain as an authoress. No. My success as an an author must be determined by the level at which I glorify God. period.

I hope to reckon with this soon.

Currently Reading The Norton Anthology of English Literature, Vol. 1 (Packaged with Media Companion) see related

Dear Diary,

      So much has gone on around me.

      So much has come to me.

      I was so afraid

      I am afraid.

      I am scared of caring

      and hurting worse than I ever have.

      But my Savior tells me, "Do not run."

      So I stay

      and enjoy a young man's smile

      eyes that say, "You are special."

      I wonder

      how long it will last.

      But Jesus says, "Trust me."

      And I will. <3

It's been a long time coming.

It is shameful how I have neglected my xanga. Instead of trying to smoosh the past two months in one post, I will tell of today. It seems as if the things you learn in a certain day can sometimes be better than just continually grabbing at the past. Though I will eventually. The summer was sincerely marvelous. : )

Ever noticed how, just when you think you are getting secure in yourself, someone slams it down? And even when you know it is not entirely true what they told you, it shakes who you are, and how your perceive who you are.

I cannot please everyone. And I keep trying because I want people to like me. I want to come up in conversation and people say, "I like Audrey Ann, she is a nice girl...friendly to everyone." But I cannot please everyone. I want to just be with the Lord, and be like Him. Oh to have the wisdom to know when not to laugh, and when to join in. Oh to know how to act around boys...What do you do when you are "read" wrong? What do you do when standards come across as rude?

Well, the Lord tells us in His Word: "Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man."

Proverbs 3:3-4

May I find my security in Him. Amen.

Currently Watching Sense and Sensibility (Classic Masterpiece Book & DVD Set) By James Fleet, Tom Wilkinson, Harriet Walter, Kate Winslet, Emma Thompson see related

Solid Rock. is Christ. on it. i stand.

everything else.sand.

on it. I will no longer stand.

How true this is. :)

Here is a big yell to my buddy Amanda who is away teaching girls and being wonderful like she is. :) I miss you and I am so thankful for you.

...when we were camping