Spoiler Alert: Don't read this if you haven't seen the Project Runway finale

 Fuck Project Runway.  That's right, I said it.

I just spent the past 52 minutes since the show ended reading message boards of people that almost entirely agree, so none of this is really original thought.  But:  Uli was robbed, and Jeffrey's an asshat.  Seriously, who would wear those clothes?  On the other hand, who doesn't want Uli's convertible swimsuit? 

Even if Uli had won, I would like last season far better.  This season had so much contrived drama (Keith's rule-violations, bringing back Angela and Vincent, Jeffrey's receipts, Uli having a collection that "every woman would wear" and then losing to someone who had 2 dresses they hated, etc.).  Last season was more about the clothes and the personalities...please let season 4 go back to that.  I'll give season 4 a chance, but if it turns out like this season and/or if they have another damn recyclables challenge (I know you're all fashion designers, but let's play with crafts and kick one of you off for NOT BEING ABLE TO MAKE PAPER INTO A PRETTY DRESS), then I'm giving up.  It was fun while it lasted (season 2 and anything with Uli and/or Michael until the final show). 

Personally, I think Uli's been robbed before on this show (even by Jeffrey in the couture challenge...I mean, his may have been "couture," but who'd rather where his dress than Uli's?), so I shouldn't be surprised now.  But the judges gave no explanation for why Uli didn't win, and they even mentioned some problems they had with Jeffrey's collection.  Except for Michael Kors, who is far less funny than he thinks he is, who said some shit about Uli's collection that no one else agreed with. 

The big problem with Laura's collection:  it was limited.  Which I understand, despite the general elegance and glamour of it.  But how can you not, then, by your own logic, concede that Jeffrey's is just as, if not more, limited?

Whatever, I'm just venting.  It's not been a very good week. 

"Yippie-yi-hey-hey...it's time for bed"

--Uli in one of the early episodes

Brandon

P.S.  I would pay you to kill Michael Kors. 

Katie Jernigan's Double D's are More Annoying Than Merbitch

Currently Listening Films About Ghosts: The Best Of... By Counting Crows These Boots are Made for Walking see related

Bayside is a School That's Cool and You Know That It's True!

Brace yourself.  This is quite possibly the longest entry in xanga history, and I'm not afraid to say it, not my greatest.  Deal with it. 

Before I start, let me say that I will discuss often and intensely Veronica Mars, so if you're not caught up, go away and come back when you are.  That applies to my life and my xanga.  Although, I'm pretty sure everyone I care about in the world is caught up. 

So, Happy Brandon History Month!  Now that it's May, I'm technically not allowed to celebrate any more, but since BHM really extends from April-November, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna go ahead and annex the 20th of each month in that range to continue the celebration. 

Also, Happy May Day!  We both wanted to be Lead Maypole in the Maypole Parade!  I wish more people memorized Saved by the Bell quotes.  Which reminds me of a new shirt I want:

Whoever buys me that earns about a billion e-props.  Give or take.  I'm also a fan of the following:

I think that pretty much encapsulates my nerdiness.  Also, I'd probably do anything for a Veronica Mars t-shirt.  Maybe one that says "When life gives you chlamydia..."

On that note, let's make a list of unanswered questions that must be resolved in 2 episodes or less:

• Veronica has chlamydia...wtf?
• Who called the bomb on the bus and why?
• What was the rat for? 
• Who killed Curly?
• Why did Curly have Veronica's name on his hand?
• What is up with Beaver vis a vis Kendall?
• What is up with Beaver vis a vis Mac?
• Did Aaron kill Lilly?
• What's up with Lilly's blood and Duncan's hair on Aaron's Oscar?
• Why was the Oscar buried in the Kane's backyard? 
• Why did I have to watch Jackie/Wallace do it, and what horrible thing have the writers cooked up for the only happy people on the show?
• Why does Leo look so good?  Private Security has done him well
• Why does Gia have random info that Veronica needs all the time?
• Is Dick really so uncomplicated?
• What's with Jackie learning "the birds and the bees the hard way?"
• What's with those pills Jackie took before Homecoming? 

I'm sure there are more, but that's good for now.  I have a few guesses, but basically I'm pretty sure that the next two episodes will rule. 

Tomorrow's our Stay Up All Night Remix 06, exactly 6 months after our Operation: Up All Night.  That was unintentional, but fortuitous.  Attendees include, but are not limited to me, the Merbitch, Sarita, my Mal-pal, Jenn, Grandmizzle (Kyle), and I'm still holding out hope for Chatherine.  Events include an ABC Scavenger Hunt, visiting Rayface, a huge butcher paper drawing, stargazing, feeding the ducks at sunrise at Research Park, and either Sbisa breakfast or Kolache Rolf's.  Needless to say, I'm extremely excited for tomorrow, because it's our last big on-campus hurrah, so to speak, and also, the last big event of my junior year. 

Back to Logan and Veronica's epic love.  I loved Logan's definition of their relationship as epic, but not in the geographic and tragic way he mentioned.  Their relationship is epic on the emotional spectrum, and the tragic one too, with Lilly's death bringing them together, and I'm sure more than one ruined life in the past two seasons has had something to do with them.  Also, I'm so grateful that they didn't kiss.  I love this pleasure-delaying, it just leaves more room for their eventual climax to rock even harder. 

I'm f-ing scared to be a senior.  At least I'm honest.  But who wants to be an adult?  And then on the same token, I can't wait to never have to see Jessica again.  And having the apartment, and living in it for most of summer, will also be awesome.  I expect multiple and extended visits this summer! 

So, at this point, I still have to go with the Mannings being behind the bus crash.  I don't know the motive, but I just figure they're crazy enough to do it.  Let the record show that Katie's going with Lamb unless she changes her mind in the comments.  I hope it's not Lamb, b/c I love him, and not just for his body. 

About the chlamydia, here are my thoughts, and remember, they are only my guesses and suppositions:  Veronica has only consciously had sex with Duncan.  Meg too.  Duncan did not sleep with Kendall.  Those are what I'm guessing/hoping, but remember, I'm a fan of the outlandish theories, so feel free to disregard this as crazy.  Either Duncan slept with someone else or Veronica had another visitor at Shelley Pomroy's party.  That, or she doesn't have chlamydia after all.  Or one of my original suppositions is wrong and I'm overthinking. 

Now on to Lucky being sexually abused by Little League coach Woody Goodman.  Well it's obvious what I think happened. 

My favorite moment from the season so far is when Beaver and Mac are leaving the Spring Fling and "Sway" begins.  Although, the entire time "I Hear the Bells" is on is in the running. 

Now it's time to debut The Top 10 Worst OC Characters ever!  First I'd like say that my all-time favorite was Anna, but when they brought her back these past two episodes, they completely wasted her, so Julie Cooper-Nichol-Cooper-Roberts wins out!  Also, can I just say that prom on Veronica Mars was 10 times more amazing than prom on the OC.  Now it's on to the list:

10.  Marissa.  Sorry, but you know it's true.  The only reason she's not higher on this list is because Drunk Marisa is hilarious.  And without her, we would not have had either the infamous "Cuz you're scaring me!" or the equally amazing "Ryan, he's got a gun!" 

9.  Volchok.  He's soooo annoying and ruining Marisa's life, but without him, we wouldn't have gotten Julie's awesome tirade against him.  And then there's the fact that he's hot. 

8.  Jess.  Drugged up Bitch.  Not only did she ruin Ryan's life last year, she interrupted his good relationship with Sadie this year!  They really need to learn to let bygone HORRIBLE character be bygones. 

7.  Matt.  God, someone get rid of him.  Has he done anything good this entire season?  Unless you count taking over Sandy's life by involving him in this damn hospital and ruining their marriage. 

6.  Lindsay.  I didn't hate her, but she did get annoying.  And then there's the fact that, like Duncan on VMars, we're told she's incredibly smart, social, and basically Ivy League material, but I never saw an ounce of personability, from either.    

5.  DJ.  He'd be higher on this list if he had any personality traits.  Or if he was around in more than two episodes. 

4.  Eddie.  God, what a tool.  At least he gave us one more fight that ended up in the Cohens' pool, because there weren't enough of those in Season 1. 

3.  Trey.  What pains me most is creator Josh Schwartz said that the actor who played Trey is really good and he hopes to bring him back.  Did he watch ANY episode with Trey?  Although, I have to admit, the Rager episode was hilarious! 

2.  Rebecca.  God, I hate that bitch.  She was the first person to succeed in getting Sandy or Kirsten to tarnish their fidelity, despite that lawyer girl in season 1 and Jimmy Cooper's attempts.  And because of her, Sandy ruined Kirsten's favorite holiday, and set Kirsten up for some lovin' with that one hot guy, who got her drinking all the time, and led to their current marriage problems. 

1.  Johnny.  Was there even a question?  Of course Season 3 is home to the worst character.  Not only did his unrelationship with Marisa cause her real relationship with Ryan to deteriorate, but his death wasn't even his end, causing Marisa to go to Volchok and blah blah. 

As you can see, the OC, not so good with the supporting characters.  Whereas Arrested Development, Battlestar, Veronica Mars...great shows, great supporting characters.  And they just wrote Zach off without a mention.  I'd want them to bring him back if their use of Anna and the Nana haven't shown me that the OC writers don't know how to use characters they bring back. 

Previously on Veronica Mars:  Crazy Theories From the Realm of the Completely Improbable Yet Intriguing Nonetheless:

Is there something to the fact that several times this season, Veronica and a few other characters have known more than we have?  For instance, in the pilot, Veronica's boyfriend changed to our surprise, but Veronica knew what was going on.  Also, in Donut Run, Veronica and Duncan duped the audience into plotting his escape.  Later, Veronica, Jackie, and Wallace played the audience together when they got Uncle Monty's cell phone.  And Veronica visited the bus without us knowing.  I wonder if she's setting us up again, maybe with that Logan thing in front of Kendall.  Or maybe it's just wishful thinking. 

Is there something to Kendall being more complex than she seems?  Could this foreshadow another character having a similar revelation?  Gia's demonstrated her ditziness several times but always seems to have relevant information before Veronica (the mooning, Keith's set-up in the papers...).  Also, they've made an extreme show of painting Dick as an idiot.  I'm wondering if that means he is, in fact, more complicated than he seems.  We'll find out in good time. 

And for some reason, I can't shake the feeling that there's some incest going on somewhere in Neptune.  The Mannings, the Goodmans, and the Cooks are all good possibilities for starters.  Jackie and her dad, especially, seem to have a creepily frank relationship.  The fact that I'm pretty sure Woody likes boys prevents him from being involved in the Gia incest, but it's still possible.  And the Mannings are f-ing screwed up, so I wouldn't put much past them.  Mr. Manning is really good at being evil, and I hate the fact that people like that exist. 

And regarding that gardener that Woody fired back in the day that I've tenaciously held on to even though it's probably nothing, I still think Woody and the gardener had a relationship, and I'm wondering if Lucky wasn't the gardener.  Gardening and School Janitorial Work are related fields.  And the deal with Celeste having Astrid work for her hints at it, you know, with the rich employing the services of those they feel they owe something to for ruining their lives. 

Oh, and did I mention I really like Lucky?  He's a pretty good actor, and I can't help but feel sorry for him b/c I already have it set in my head that he was sexually abused. 

I also love Cliff, Vinnie Van Lowe, and BEAVER AND MAC!!!!!!  And can I just say that I am far more invested in Beaver and Mac's relationship than I ever was for Veronica and Duncan.  Okay, enough wallowing. 

Well, I wanted to make this entry interesting, but you'll just have to get stuck with the television analysis. 

Today we had our SA celebration, where all the SAs ever who are still in the Station have a party.  I found out that I have a rather thriving progeny.  Check it.  That's my mommy Kristi, my sister Liz, my daughter and wife Allegra, and my two daughters/granddaughters Katie and Andrea, in addition to my nephew Jason (next year's JA) and my niece who offered to marry me Brandee, as well as my two great-nephews Phil and Steven (whose real name is incredible:  Steven James Von Der Lindon). 

Yeah, I don't have to worry about my genes dying off, no big.  Oh, and since it's May, I get new picture storage space from the xanga gods!  Who's excited?  Who's gonna blow all their space in this one entry?  I AM! 

Yesterday I got my paycheck, not my first, but still awesome: 

Who wants to see Leahanne's ring dunking?  Me, me!  First, we all went to Chili's:

Then, Leahanne put her ring in her margarita:

Which you can see up close here:

Then everyone filmed like it was a big deal or something:

Then she went in for the chug:

Then she caught it in her teeth, which would be bad if I weren't talking about her Aggie Ring.  Oh shoot, did I just go there? 

And that's when the Xanga gods decreed that I have already used up all my picture space.  See you next month! 

P.S.  No sleep tonight, you won't get, no sleep tonight! 

P.P.S.  Oh yeah, who thinks Wallace is annoyingly superficial this season?  Or at least, lately.  Damn, Veronica should drop him for Beaver and Mac. 

P.P.P.S.  Leahanne is a giggly drunk.  One drop of alcohol and she stumbles around like a three-legged dog.  "Awwww."  Lush. 

P.P.P.P.S.  "You were impressive in the shower this morning.  You know, dong-wise."

Currently Listening Drag It Up By Old 97s Adelaide, et al see related

Salt and Brown Sugar

So the final I took earlier today, the one I was not remotely prepared for just two days ago, proved that life is easier when you're dead.  Try wrapping your head around that one. 

I rewatched last night's Veronica Mars, and it is definitely my personal favorite episode of the season.  We don't even find out much about the bus crash or anything, but the acting was just wonderful.  That's all I'll say until you Austin people (who call yourselves Veronica Mars fans...or maybe you don't, whatever) finally watch it. 

Jessica is an unbelievably annoying tool.  And Jessica's friend from Lubbock, a female one, might I add, just said that Pride and Prejudice is "filled with bullshit."  Which does not exactly contradict my theory that America would be better off without Lubbock, Texas. 

So there's that. 

Skrubz rulz. 

I have so much work still...why am I on xanga?  Because xanga fulfills my needs.  I could never cheat on it with that octagamist, myspace.  Top 8 my ass. 

I hear the bells, they are like emeralds, glints in the night, COMMAS AND AMPERSANDS.  What's your favorite punctuation mark?  Mine's the sun! 

Coke is disgusting, but I have to get the mycoke rewards, so from now on, I'm just pouring it out and taking the bottlecaps.  Leahanne's dunking her ring in a gasoline tank which she's siphoning.  I told her it wasn't the best idea, but she was all, "I'm 21, it's legal.  Ooh, the Girls Gone Wild van!  Over here!"  I'll probably be hopped up on ex and sharpies mourning the fact that I missed the deadline for my aggie ring. 

I'm pretty sure The Merbitch Project would be only slightly scarier than The Blair Witch Project, and only because it will be filmed during her period. 

Who else misses the day and age when Katie would update about The Ritual of the Nude Writhing and her short-lived snake cult? 

How is it that my finals week will be about 10 times easier than this week has been? 

All I can think about is Veronica Mars.  Which isn't boding well for my sci-fi paper.  Which I should start about now. 

BMars

P.S.  Your trellis is a whore. 

P.P.S.  Who else thinks the phrase "talking to" as a pre-dating stage is adding unnecessary baggage to nonromantic conversations? 

P.P.P.S.  You should see the amount of gray hair I have.  I oughta be salt-and-brown-sugar in no time.

Currently Listening Veronica Mars By Original TV Soundtrack I Hear the Bells see related

Dearest Darlingest Momster and Popsicle aka Shellylicious and ReMarkable:

Greetings from the Beyond.  It's pretty cool here, pretty dark most of the time, but the best part is, they broadcast this kind of soundtrack to your life..death, whatever. 

For those who didn't know, 4-20 did indeed get the best of me.  I don't even know what happened--I was pretty high that day.  But I do know that Mother Nature threw me a big going-away storm.  Oh, the other cool thing is that they have all kinds of internet access here.  I'd give you directions, but you wouldn't believe me. 

So, I've been pretty busy since that whole death thing, which takes more forms than you'd expect.  I've been filling out paperwork almost nonstop.  The bureaucracy here astonishes.  And they literally have red tape here.  I told their decorators I thought it was a little on the cliche side for my tastes. 

Anyway, I'd like to point out that, despite the fact that I know little to nothing of how I died on 4-20, I do have some evidence to support the fact that Ryan Talented Mr. Ripley-ed my ass.  (I haven't even seen the movie, but know the basic story). 

Exhibit A:  Although I copied him on the idea for pictures of the day, he has literally copied me on specific pictures of the day.  Examples include my side-view mirror picture, my venetian blinds picture (not an exact copy, but close), my picture of me holding my steering wheel, the exact same moment of Katie at the sci-fi film fest, etc. 

Exhibit B:  He's watching all the old movies that I've seen.  He's even finishing the top 100 of IMDb about a week after I got the hell off this mortal coil. 

Exhibit C:  He's becoming a trekkie.  I don't know why.  It's not really becoming on him. 

Exhibit D:  He's gayer than I am.  Except for the whole "being attracted to men" thing. 

I used to take the whole "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" approach to it all, but now I realize I should have gone with the "imitation is the sincerest way to prepare for murder and replacement" method. 

Despite the fact that I've copied a lot of his ideas, my website, pictures of the day in general, I think you'll see he's much more specific in his copycatting. 

Anyway, just so you all know, Ryan may take your place next. 

Ever since I died, I've been thinking a lot more about the nature of good and evil, which leads me to Wicked, which I am rapidly growing fond of.  My favorite quotes from the entire soundtrack are from two of the fluffier songs, but I'll just go ahead and let that speak volumes about the space between my ears. 

"With simple, utter loathing, there's a strange exhilaration in such total detestation, so pure, so strong!"  It's true.  I find I gain a lot of force from simply hating pretty much everyone I don't know.  Specifically, my To Destroy List victims, to which I'm adding a new kid from my sci-fi lit class who clearly has no actual friends in the class (he only talks to people in there about our readings and schoolwork, while people who are really friends with their classmates don't really talk about the work during class), and he's generally friggin pretentious.  He likes to denigrate himself, but only if, in doing so, he makes himself look smart.  He uses the word "thusly," which I always thought was reserved for stuffy British men.  For these and other crimes, I expect my replacement (Ryan) to devote his life to this guy's destruction. 

My other favorite quote is this:  "Nothing matters, but knowing nothing matters."  The point of the song is that this generally shallow guy just dances through life, and though he's espousing its virtues, it's really not a fulfilling life.  That may be true, but his point remains valid.  Not a single thing really matters all that much, on your world, anyway.  It's all a lot clearer now that I'm dead. 

That said, Wicked is no Rent.  Deal with it.  I haven't seen Wicked, but Rent is an opera...technically beautiful with practically no spoken words, repetition of major musical themes and skillful blending of melodies.  The soundtrack is the show, not just a nice addition.  In Wicked, you can't understand it completely with just the soundtrack.  I'd put Wicked on par with Lion King, both great musicals, but I'd put Rent the play on par with Lord of the Rings the movie or Les Miserables the book, at least to me. 

Enough thinking:  dancing through life, mindless and careless...

I lost my car key the other day...it was the day after 4-20, at least, that's when I noticed, so I, of course, blamed Leahanne and Sara's evil conspiracies.  I was dead by that point, but they didn't seem to mind.  In fact, they made it up to me, and by "it," I mean "absolutely nothing that they owed me," by getting me Blue Baker and Olive Garden breadsticks, stuff to make THE BEST QUESO THE WORLD HAS EVER HAD THE HONOR TO ENJOY, and a set of baby car keys. 

I then, in a last-ditch attempt to retain control over my world before Mr. Ripley arrives, named them.  The yellow one is Walter, purple JD, green Jake, blue Billy (the power ranger), and red Stephen.  None were named with specific people in mind, but Colbert, Gyllenhaal, and Scrubs may give clues to my inner thoughts.  As opposed to my outer ones. 

Man, I am getting retarded.  You shouldn't say that around Kristen. 

My sci-fi story got the highest grade possible, "A excellent."  I'm pretty sure he didn't grade too hard, but whatever.  Lots of good an A gets me up here. 

Art of the Day:  http://www.slaverats.com/files/VeronicaMars_Desktop.jpg

I hate it when people do the following, of the day:  misuse the words "feminist," "gay," or "myocardial infarction."

I ought to burn bras.  Not for any political statement, more for lack of anything better to do. 

Some crazy Baptist woman (not a mainstream Baptist, some really crazy offshoot, so don't think I'm stereotyping) went on Hannity and Colmes basically defending her church's freaking ridiculous protests.  Her church, which is 80% her family, went out and protested military funerals "because there are no innocent people," her father said that Jews are the real Nazis and praised the Holocaust, and they thanked God for AIDS because "sodomy is an abomination" and America is, according to her, speaking out with a single voice that it's okay to be gay, which, where does she live, because I wanna move there.  Anyway, people like her make me want to cry.  But I'm dead, so it's difficult.  At least she's brought me back to my catchall stance of hating people.  In the words of my hero in the realm of righteous anger, Veronica Mars, "People suck." 

On that note, I have a freaking final that surprisingly came out of nowhere tomorrow, so I should be studying for that now. 

P.S.  "BEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP, you old horny slut!"  "Well, no one's gonna top that." 

P.P.S.  NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED

P.P.P.S.  I am alliteratively and anxiously awaiting the arrival of an artsy avenger's (dammit) new haircut pictures.  23 eprops to whomever can finish this sentence using alliteration in the comments. 

Currently Listening Wicked (2003 Original Broadway Cast) Defying Gravity, Dancing Through Life, and What is This Feeling? see related