[you lost yourself tonight]

I sit, and I wait, and I listen to what he's saying, every word... word for word. 
He's talking about forgiveness.
"To restore a damaged relationship, choose reconciliation."
Discussing that to forgive someone, you really have to wish them well, if you don't then you're basically hopeing for the worse to happen self-consciously (not so true with me).
It's not about solving and fixing the past, it's just about moving forward, moving past the past.
But here's where he lost me.
"Whether you've been hurt or if you've done the hurting, it's your responsibility to make the first move towards reconciliaton."
Okay, that's one thing... but what about when you have already done that?
Personally, I always make the first move, either way (or at least it seems like it's always me to give in first) because, I hate the empty silences. The ackward feelings between the two.. it's something I personally, cannot stand.

So... What now? Where do you go now?
If I've tryed again and again to forgive you. To move past it. To wish you well.
But you insist on making things harder and harder....
I've done all I can. Yet I feel... hurt, pain, all the feelings as if I never had done anything at all are still there.
Then isn't it worthless?
To stand up? To try and fix it?
This broken friendship shatters me to this day and you don't care.

But he said something else. One more thing...
Basically:: no matter how much you think you're over it, theres still if nothing else a tiny flame burning inside both of you that will never completely die.
Is that true? For you, do you still feel it?
When you think about me or see me do you regret what you did to me, or want to say something but your pride is so big that it keeps you from doing it?

I don't want to hate you.
But I do.