| | Let's Talk About SexSorry it's all disjointed. I wrote it quick-style. (I'll try to edit, but here's the draft.)
This was the comment I left for Lilly on her xanga site for this post. It got too long, so I decided to post it here.
I think I understand what you're trying to say. It's good to be discerning. I guess what blows my mind is that you didn't really know that "some" guys do that. So I don't know, what standard can you use to discern what kind of man is good? A Christian man perhaps? More Christian marriages in the US now end in divorce than non-christian. Looks, financial status, education... there are bad men in every category.
Negatives:
Guess what else some guys do: look at porn, lust after strangers, masterbate, talk about girls as objects, describe their body parts and rate them, dominate the relationship using fear and manipulation, abuse, both physical and emotional, lie, cheat with other women, etc.. so on, so forth. pretty ugly stuff. but that's sin. all of it. I'm speaking in general, but I'm pretty sure EVERY SINGLE MALE on this planet has done one or more of the things on this list.
Why is it that women want to get married early? Why get married at all? Think of all the pain. There is the struggle to gain security, the battle to maintain companionship, amidst children and work schedules. There's the stress of two people becoming one. There are fights about money, sex, children, and the future. How does any amount of dating help prepare for a life-long marriage?
Why don't men want to get married? Maybe the same reason why most people don't want to trust Jesus. It's hard to face the person you love and admit your deepest, darkest sins, forgive you, ask them to help you change. With all our evil tendancies, it's easier to just play the game.
If you understand WHY God blesses marriage, then you'll have a totally
different perspective on dating. Understand that marriage is not what
you think it is. The union between two people, based on trust, drench
in grace and forgiveness, full of love, models the gospel. A married
person has a permanent accountability partner. They cannot sucessfully
hide from their sin, they must implicitly trust that their mate will
not crush them with guilt and shame.
That's why I believe relationships should be based on principles. Intimacy before marriage prevents us from talking about deep issues. If you're making out with someone, it's hard to really hammer out your theological positions on relationships and family.
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| | Posted 4/26/2006 2:13 PM - 2 comments
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