| for the love of your jesus christ, believe me when i tell you to NOT expect me to EVER be an understanding person...i understand the things that make sense to me...thats how understanding i am |
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| 7 months later...you'd think that things would get better...well then you thought wrong...some things in this stupid life of mine are just NOT FAIR and i dont have to accept anything i dont want to and dont have to respect anything i dont want to...thats how i deal with things |
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| im going to cry...i made a fukin update and it deleted it self...long story short in an outline form I hate you anthony cause im somewhat agreeing with you - at romeos bday at mezzo mezzo what you said
- nothing i can do about it or want to
- i will NOT try that for a 3rd time
10 track minds suck - they make me think about everything and nothing at all
- i over analyze everything
- i end up knowing things i wont want to
i want to be oblivious but its not possible...and uhh i have a lot of thinking to do about the whole anthony thing up there... so good night and listen to my damn song... i have also come to a realization that im selfish...very very selfish... i have ALSO realized im on the edge of insanity...no i mean moreso then i already am...this is like borderline clinical ok so as days go by i think im getting worse and worse...how lovely how very lovely... |
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| O Rly?WARNING: this entry will contain 2 of my personalities talking...so enjoy distinguishing them holy crap xanga still exists? i guess with all the myspaces whores and the facebook fiends and all the other similar crap no1 remembers good ol xanga who we all started out with...changing layouts and music and shit...and checking it everyday to see for comments and shit...but yea whatever...so has anyone else noticed that we(class of 05) are on our 2nd year of college or what? i THINK i noticed but i start school on the 11th so im fully not comprehending it...but jeez didnt we just graduate and go to prom and have our senior bbq and say "holy shit we're out of highschool"...jeez...that makes me feel old...besides the fact im naturally older then most of '05 still makes me feel older then usual...btw for those who dont know in about 3 months im turning 20...which is driving me nuts...so we'll call it twenteen to make us all feel better...and i guess thats it for this personality hello...my name is "im so oblivious i walk around pretending to not know what the FUCK is going on around me and having SO much fun cause I can and I have no worry in the world". I like to party whenever I can and during/after those parties i like to take obsene pictures and make obsene comments under them mean while STILL being oblivious about people who see them and might think things about me. I like to consider myself on top of the world whilst in my head things are far from perfect and i have massive depression because of my family and the things i do...oh btw one of my parents is a nazi in disguise...i inadvertedly hurt "people" and decide that they will stop caring about me because its oh so easy and i have no impact on people and im so hard to forget...im sure i contradict myself every second of my existence but thats cool, cause im OBLIVIOUS TO IT! ahahahahaha...excuse me i was just laughing to myself...sometimes i also like to talk to "people" to make sure we're still friends and pretend like i care of what is going on in their life...it tires me out because i try OH so hard to keep up my friendly facade but thats ok i will forget all about it tonight after i get wasted off my ass and decide to call someone "randomnly" 3 times... no this isnt about myself obviously...its just the side of me which doesnt speak out as much as i want it to and there you have it...that was my other side...which only a handfull of people know...and yes manny i AM the most bitter and the angry person possibly alive..oh and by the way...that little insight i wrote up there opened something...i swear on everything that i believe in...i WILL start breaking legs and heads just because i can and to prove my point of me being better...will hurting people make me look better? hell no it wont...but it sure as well will make me feel good...and thats all that matters...the fukin end... |
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| not for nothing...but my first year of college is almost over...and i have NO clue where the hell it went...no seriously someone want to tell me where it went? cause i sure as hell dont know or remember...well at least now i can relax and wait for the summer to come...ahaha no...not likely seeing as i decided to take summer classes...therefor, all you dilinquants go and get your tans and bikinis and tankinis and somethinginis and enjoy your summer..cause after spending last summer doing jack SHIT im kind of glad ill be taking classes (i will regret that statement the second i step into those classes)...and there you have it...i made an update...let me close by saying "if i really knew what i was doing, than i would have done it, until then shut the fuck up and dance" |
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