babydotdinosaur's Xanga

More Lessons from a 6-year-old

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 23:16:04 GMT

Last night I played with my daughter. Okay, I hang with her a lot. We read together. Today we washed window together, but it isn't often we play together. We were playing frisbee. Soon she told me she was standing in Washington and she was going to throw the frisbee all the way to Colorado. I was game. Soon we were sending it all over the country just guessing where each state might be in relation to where we were standing (aka- which state we were in). Cute, yes. BUT, the best part was about ten minutes in the game. She ran a little ways off our "map" and sat down.

"I'm in the Garden of Hope," she said.

I didn't know what to say, so it received as much importance as the rest of the states. Towards the end of our game, she announced that the Garden of Hope was her favorite place. "It is always close. Never too far."

So, if any of you are feel like you're jumping around the map too much, know that the Garden of Hope is always near.

My Genius Daughter

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 02:55:59 GMT

We live in a 1969 house. My husband and I both have something about 1969. We both have sibs born in that year. We've lived in two houses that we know of built in that year and our children's school was built in, yes, 1969. That has nothing to do with my genius daughter, other than the fact that a house built in 1969 is bound to have less-than-stellar plumbing. So begins my story.

Today I cleaned the bathtub. I know the Flylady would be very disappointed in me. Let's just say it has been a while. This is the same tub that I have borrowed a snake to open a clog in before. It usually happens when my husband is out of town. I wasn't surprised, then, when the water stopped draining midway through the cleaning process. Afterall, my husband is out of town. When clogs first began to happen, which is, coincidentally, right after we moved into the house, I would feel insane guilt over using those nasty products on the bottom shelf in the aisle with cleaners. I fretted about the creek in the back yard. Not today, though. I didn't even bat an eye as I picked up more of nasty clog stuff at the store on the way to pick my daughter up from school. I immediately dumped the whole bottle into the bath tub. I knew it wouldn't take long.

Fast forward an hour and a half. I stood there staring in amazement at the tub still full of water. I tried to discern if any water was draining by watching the movement of the bubbles (did I mention that I used that nasty clog remover stuff?). This was serious. My daughter came in to check things out and I described to her my problem. I was probably going to have to call a plumber.

"Mom," she said, "the drain is plugged."

"Yes," I said, "that is the problem."

"No," she smiled, "look, the plug is in."

Indeed, as I was cleaning, I must have bumped the drain toggle. I'm so glad my 6-year-old daughter, who is the only person in the house who ever takes a bath, is so good at problem solving!!!

My personal lesson, well, lessons, has to do will seeing a problem with new eyes, not underestimating children, slowing down!!!

Sporadic...

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 01:13:19 GMT

That is how I describe my approach to most every endeavor! I used to think that effective people were the consistent ones who could manage to write in their journals everyday and would actually have protein and whole grains for breakfast every morning. Well, I just don't operate that way. I'm still okay!!!

I'm doing some inner work and would love some feedback... Is it possible to reach into your soul and find so much forgiveness and bend so far that you really do lose a piece of yourself? If by denying ourselves the emotion of anger, do we then lose our place as someone with worth?

I'm working on it...

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 21:33:56 GMT

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
— Mahatma Gandhi

The Business of Being Born

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:08:24 GMT

Finally, I have slowed down enough from this fast-paced life to try to reconnect a couple neurons that were fading! A friend managed to obtain tickets to a screening in Seattle for a documentary called "The Business of Being Born." It was produced by Ricki Lake, but that didn't really strike me because my only real knowledge of Ricki was in the 1980-something movie, "Hairspray." I know she has a talk-show, but since I don't watch much TV, I have never seen it, or even ads.

Anyway, I was positively ready to have another baby in the moments of watching beautiful natural home births attended by a midwife. Mind you, not another child, just be pregnant and go through labor again. Now my closest compadres know this is not a normal feeling for me!

The deep, dark chocolate icing on the raspberry cake was that the screening was followed by a panel discussion with Ricki Lake, the head of the OB/GYN Department at the University of Washington, one of the founders of the Seattle Midwifery School, and a liaison/lobbyist for midwifery in Washington. Wow! What a discussion!

The point of the movie wasn't to convince everyone to have a home birth. If that were the goal, I think it wouldn't be realistic, or even fair, to women. The point was that women should look at, and have available to consider, more options than what has become the standard hospital birth. Lake and the director, Abby Epstein, provided a lovely overview of the history of birth in our country. They also investigated reasons why more women don't have or consider the options of midwives. Did the words "insurance companies" pop into your mind just now? Of course, it isn't that simple, but, as the OB/GYN from UW pointed out, the system is just broken. She practiced in Germany and offered a lovely contrast to the way things are there and here in the US.

I'm going to end with just a few thoughts and facts that have lingered in my mind since Monday night...

The US has the highest infant mortality rate of all developed nations.
Washington is extremely progressive when it comes to midwives practicing in and out of hospitals.
The Monty Python scene when the doctor tells the woman in labor that she wasn't qualified to have an opinion.
Americans spend more time shopping for a car than they do investigating childbirth options.

http://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/

Check it out!

The Tortilla Curtain

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 19:37:42 GMT

Okay - I'm back! No, I came nowhere near my NaNoWriMo goal. In fact, I have determined that November is an insane month for such a feat. What was I thinking of? Working? Company? Hosting Thankgiving? They made it sound possible! I might try for February (famous last words!).

Anyway, I did not give up on my about-every-month-and-a-half book club. This month we read The Tortilla Curtain by T C Boyle. Wow. It hit on so many ironic truths that I was squirming in my seat. I thought about paring down my festivities this month, but I have to go discuss this book. I have to say, now, living thousands of miles away from the US-Mexican border, people here truly have no idea of the struggle on the ground along the borders of Mexico. When I recount stories that were fairly common in Cochise and Santa Cruz counties, I can see people squirm or just ignore me because surely this can't be happening in the United States.

This is not an issue of building walls. Walls can't keep people out who are so desperate for a new life that they are willing to die. I'm not sure the government can even solve this problem. It really needs to begin right in our neighborhoods. Sure, we gather at Thanksgiving and other special occasions and take time to reflect on how good we've got it. Some of us even meditate daily. But is it enough to be grateful?

I'm not saying we need to give up all our worldly goods, conquer Mexico, and change to a communist government. I am saying that when faced with extreme inequities, we need to evaluate at what point we are asking others to lower themselves in order to come out materialistically slightly further ahead ourselves. Is it right to pay less for a wall by letting people build it for less the minimum wage? By doing this, are we creating a false hope in others that they, too, can live in big, beautiful homes? This can even go beyond the issues with immigration to the global economy. I frequently buy goods made in China, yet I know they cost less because someone is being paid pennies to make it. Some argue that people in those factories are grateful for the work. I wonder if they would consider that they would be even more grateful for a wage that would be high enough that they could work fewer hours in better conditions. I used to believe in the American Dream, but it feels like something is shifting. It feels subtle. Maybe I'm the one changing. I don't know.

My southeastern AZ friends, please let me know if there is anything you would like to let my northwestern WA friends know - they're a caring, literate crowd. : )

NaNoWriMo

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 23:26:46 GMT

Day one and already my character has a new setting with a new problem and isn't even the same person she was when she started up the hill in her Corolla! What a ride. I don't think I'll get over 725 words tonight, but I still think I may be able to do this!

Books I'm Thinking About

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 22:51:30 GMT

Hi Friends (and myself when I wonder in a week what I was thinking about last week). I was just reminded of a book I haven't actually read. It is The Five Love Languages of Children (Paperback)
by Gary Chapman (Author), Ross Campbell. I was introduced to it through my daughter's preschool teacher last year. Everything about our discussion of the ideas presented in the book felt right. If you are just looking for a way to deepen the love you already have for your child, check it out!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 16:20:56 GMT

"And the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
Anais Nin

I picked up a magnet yesterday with this quote. It wasn't until I was leaving the store that I remembered Anais Nin and my first encounter...

"Each friend represents a world in us,
a world possibly not born until they arrive,
and it is only by this meeting
that a new world is born."

It's Raining, It's Pouring...

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 15:36:19 GMT

And I just picked up my new desk. It is 56" x 30", so I think it may be big enough to help me spread my ideas out a bit. Okay, so what am I thinking about today? As a Parent Education instructor, I am preparing to lead my classes in a discussion about the ideas of Alfie Kohn. I go through Alfie Kohn phases every couple years. I am storing up some courage (even bought a little charm at my favorite book store today) to introduce Kohn into the lives of toddlers and their parents. As a society we spend so much time cajoling and manipulating children to be exactly how we think (or others think) they should be instead of recognizing and respecting who they are. In the past I shared Punished by Rewards with all my mommy and daddy friends. Now Alfie has taken it down one step more to our level and written Unconditional Parenting. The title, itself, is incredibly strong - not unlike "unconditional love."

I suppose I will know that the toddler parents are listening if some of them fidget in their seats. : )