OMG WHAT THE FUCK I HATE MY PARENTS!!!!!! WHO THE FUCK DO THEY THINK THEY ARE TO TELL MY STEPSISTER THAT IM ON "PROBATION" BECUZ MY GRADES DIDNT FIT THEIR STANDARDS...ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING!!!!! O AND BY PROBATION THEY MEAN IF MY GRADES DIDN'T IMPROVE THAT THEY WERE GOING TO BRING ME HOME!!! WHAT THE FUCK!! YOU CAN'T DO THAT IM 18 AND OUT ON MY OWN!!!! SO IM NOT GETTING STRAIGHT A'S COLLEGE IS A LOT HARDER NOW ESPECIALLY O WAIT MY DAD WHO IS THE BIGGEST HYPOCRITE EVER BARELY MADE IT THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL AND BARELY MADE IT THROUGH COLLEGE YET I'M ONLY A FRESHMAN AND HE'S THREATENING TO TAKE ME OUT OF SCHOOL!! WHO GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO EVEN THINK OF THAT IDEA?!?!  IT'S TIME TO LET ME LIVE MY LIFE ON MY OWN AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! I'M TIRED OF MY FAMILY NOT BELIEVING IN ME AND THINKING THAT THEY KNOW SO MUCH MORE THEN ME! I CAN DO MY RESEARCH AND FIGURE THINGS OUT ALL I ASK IS THAT HERE BE SOME HELP BUT O HELL NO THERE CAN'T BE ITS ONLY THE WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVE YOUR HEADS IN THE CLOUDS AND YOU NEED TO JUST FIGURE IT OUT (I'M TRYING BUT I NEED YOU TO DO THIS FOR ME) BUT HA THAT JUST DOESN'T WORK DOES....GOD I'M TIRED OF THIS FUCKING REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY BULLSHIT STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME PROVE YOU WRONG WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE ENCOURAGING!?!? WHY WHY WHY? INSTEAD OF YOU CAN'T DO THIS YOU WONT MAKE THAT ILL PULL YOU FROM SCHOOL IF YOU DONT DO THAT WHY CANT IT BE HEY YOUR NOT DOING AS WELL AS WE WOULD HAVE LIKED BUT YOU CAN DO IT WE KNOW THAT YOUR BETTER OR YEAH YOU CAN DO IT JUST GOTTA TRY HARDER.....WHY?!?!?! IS IT THE REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY CUZ TRUST ME IT'S NOT ANY MORE COMFORTING TO KNOW MY PARENTS DONT HAVE ANY CONFIDENCE IN ME

Currently Listening Getting Away With Murder By Papa Roach see related

hey back again well last time def helped alot on my stress relief but ive had another thing come back to bite me in the ass and well im back again to vent

this one i left out originally becuase just incase i did talk to him and showed him what i vented about i didn't want him in here and be like so you have a problem with me and i would have been like well....

so heres how it goes ive been dating my current boyfriend for alittle over six months like i mean our 6months was on monday and its only thursday and well up until yesterday i hadn't talked to him in over a week and thats like actually talking not texting or myspace but hey thats ok right not really im tired of waiting like imean i knew that  his phone was taken away so i was like ok whatever but then i randomly get a text message one night when hes not supposed to have his phone and im like wait what? but anywayz so i get a call from him later and im like yay i actually get to talk to him and actually as bad as this sounds i wish i hadn't becuase he basically laid it all out that he wanted to break up becuz he can't stand being in a long distance relationship and i  couldn't do anything else besides just let the tears fall and he was like im not breaking up with you so stop crying what else am i supposed to do you had said but a few words to actually complete the deal no offense i understand that you are going through some serious shit but your character is soo shady right now that i trust you with all my heart even tho everyone else says not to. o and one of my best friends calls me like right after this talk and was like hey i just saw will you kno just letting me kno and before i could tell her about our little talk shes like o he has another girl inthe car and shes smoking something that doesn't looklike a cigarette  so i dont kno what it is but hes told me hes clean which he better still be and if hes not he better not be ready to lie to me if i find out but then just having that other girl inthe car just made me completely break down i couldn't even talk i was just crying so hard like when i was tlaking to will it was just the tears coming down my cheek but with kari all i could do was just cry i guess basically sob and i dont even kno what to think and this point on whether to just set him free cuz he seems to be to tied down to something thats not even there or what cuz inhis words we weren't even supposed to have come this far. what am i supposed to do?!  i really truly still love him but is it in his best interest to just break up becuase he told me that he isn't coming to tech which is something that he told me that he would try for but just becuz someone pushed to hard he backs off. which i dk what to think about that but thats his deal. and all my friends are like he doesn't deserve you and its not that i agree im torn inside on what to think. o and another thing so if he can call to vent out his frustration in this relationship and how shitty he thinks it is well i send him a message back and was trying to explain how i felt trying to tell him yeah its hard and i feel it everyday and all he can say is suck up. i was just like what the fuck like imean its one to put suck up lol or with a smily face but no just suck up i guess thats kind of an inside thing with us but not as cold as that i can't even talk to him anymore i dont kno what he ever does other then say hes just going to go driving around and then has another girl in the car and leaving the last part out

if anyone is reading this and can lend a shoulder to cryon or ears to vent to or just some simple advice that would be amazing!

love yall

holy shit! i haven't been on this in over a year but ive had a lot of shit happen lately and my best way to vent is through writing/typing and plus no one actually reads these and if they do well sry ahead of time these are my thoughts right now

1. what the fuck lindsay your such a bitch you are your mothers daughter only thinking about yourself! what a whore? you can't seriously keep changing ur minds about when we are going to go home just to fit your schedule if you haven't noticed im busy to probably even busier then you but hey dont worry about it ill just bend to your every will how about not didn't when we were back at home i def wont do it out at tech. we planned out going home a month ago to go home thursday and then you change it cuz you have lab like a week in advanced i was pissed cuz yeah i had made plans to go visit ppl at school cuz i still do have friends there and my team and teachers but hey its cool its your thing so then im like ok well i make plans for thursday night that i have to commit to and then two days before your like we're leaving on thursday again im like nope can't do it and you have ask me if im coming home of course im coming home you whore im the one who kept pushing for a fuckin date to go home so the only way that i can go home is through someone else i guess its good that i kno alot of ppl but dont worry its all about you isn't it becuz you dont even feel bad you just kept justifying your reason yes you have a doctors appointment but you made that monday coulda told me monday instead of tuesday night i cant just pick up my shit and leave when you feel like it but you knew last week that you were sick you should've made the appointment friday told me so that i couldve worked with my schedule but no thats to hard for little old you isn't it but whateva o and if lori even tries to bitch at me i will make your life a living hell again. you thought youd like having a sister here well maybe you should take better care of her and shell take better care of you.  BITCH!

2. who the hell do you think you are lynn whitmire?!?!?! what the fuck gives you right to take out your anger of last weeks tournament on the girls we didn't do shit to you actually as i recall we were there supporting you through it all and trying to make you feel better but hey thats k cuz your miss i played d1 water polo im the best yeah and you are you kick even the guys ass but you dont have any excuse for being as rude and still being as rude to us as you have been especially me i haven't done shit to you ive called you made sure you were ok rode with you and talked to you about bryce ive always gotten along with you until. that was uncalled for you. you tell me and the girls during the week that we were staying with you and your aunt and then the second night your getting a hotel room so we are under the impression that we were goin to be staying with you and then even you come back after getting it and tell us all about it and tell us about how easy itll sleep in these and then after the a&m game you storm off dont talk to anyone and then come up to us and tell us about the room change and how its for other ppl and just left us to our own free will ok what the fuck?!?! and dont try and deny it becuz its not just me that you told was having that hotel room it was me and kaitlin and hillary but its cool right you wanted it so you could have crazy sex with bryce right whatever you didn't need to keep exemplifying the fact you had that room when we were at emilys sisters house that was wrong! and even nowadays a couple days after the tournament and your still having the fucking attitude with us well pull the stick out of your ass and change that damn attitude now!

3. A team is a group you should be able to trust a group that you truly care about well it seems like the only ppl who care at all on the team are me brian and emily cuz it seems like we are the only that'll go out of our way to make sure that everyone is ok but thats cool right all for the sake of the joke. hell fucking no!!! that was wrong emily got bitched at by her dad wasted her gas and time to go where she didn't need to and the best part was that you all knew all along thats what pisses me off and that it wasn't some big deal thats fucked up you should've said something when we told you that we were coming and on the way you should've stopped alex from leading them on until they were at fucking sweetwater and then was like o dont worry we're back what the fuck if i wasn't so dead from the lack of sleep i would've been up and out with them but hey atleast i was there in spirit and if you wanted to play it on ryan thats fine you should've told us what had happened and then filled us in on what you all wanted us to do to ryan but o no yall took it too far and o wait were probably going to take it to the grave if i hadn't said anything what makes you think yall can do that to us we cared that much and you still were lieing right to our faces. when did yall become better then us o but wait aren't we the better one becuz we cared enough to come to your rescue and help you but o wait those pictures seemed like yall were having a fucking blast while we were worried god ASSHOLES!!!

well theres more but i can't put it here but god seriously my trust in ppl has me seriously questioning just about everyone so if anyone does read this and has comments feel free but if any attack me dont even fuck with me

Currently Listening Get Up Pt.1 By Ciara (Ft Chamillionaire) see related

What up?

omgee! xanga is almost officially dead wow! newayz updation well swim season is about to begin and i think we're definatly ready to make a come back after what happened last year just can't wait the first nine weeks is already over and it wont be long till i've graduated!!! ahh!

to neone that is reading this what up?! and comment plz!