| anyone?So randomly I stumbled upon this new blogging site. I forget what it's called but it jsut reminded me that I had this. Does anyone even write/read xanga? I sure as hell don't. I had a list of things to write as i was reading this one guy's blog...but yet again, I forgot everything i was going to write.
i'm currently listening to a batch of new music. this one guy mixes songs. how i came upon this site is another story: my friend from school one day i think earlier this past school year was asking me if i have this one mix of what i think is kanye and lupe...but honestly i can't remember if that's right. so here i sat in my room after a day of running around running errands trying to remember what the song was. so i just searched kanye/lupe mixes and came upon this one pretty tight mix of superstar and champion. and that led me to this whole batch but honestly i only like like 2 out of what 30??? there's this one with apologize and viva la vida.
music. people at school come to me knowing that they'd get a song they want cause i guess i get a lot of songs early. some songs i get and then peopel come running to me like months later when it gets popular and i give it not knowing it's out so i go back and listen and pat myself on the back for having it but want to sock myself when it gets SOOO played out. why must we do this.
there's this radio station central place? that always calls me. i guess since i answered their survey once they continue to call me and get my opinion on the "new batch" of songs they get once in a while. it's stoopid. some of the songs arent even new.
so today was errand day running around going to the bank, calling insurance, doing laundry, this and that yaknow. i couldn't help but wonder if all i attract are weird people. i was walking from the bank and i made eye contact for literally 1 second with this one man crossing the street and i walk on in a L shape thus walking toward but away from him. as i turn he goes "hey there" all neukki hae like. i guess the english translation woudl be greasily? and that jsut reminded me of this past thursday when i was in sc walking from the bus stop to my temporary place. a car passed me by and i see that the driver just looks at me as he drives by. (might i add that the place is supposedly not the best neighborhood? it looked fine to me but i guess not) so with this reputation i'm just thinking to myself 'it's sunny, broad daylight, just keep walking'. i saw ahead that the car stopped where my place is because it's a dead end complex type place and just walked on. as i pass the car i hear "hey, how you doing?" and i just laughed in my head cause all i could think was joey from friends
i like my new place in sc. too bad there's no internet or cable set up. if there was i'd be living there in a heartbeat. but since that isn't going to happen, i shall stay in place at my friend's place.
i been getting a lot of wow your eyes are really brown lately. to those of you who are always asking.. no they are not contacts. i don't wear contacts anymore
for some reason today i kept thinking bout the past years at sc. there are some moments that just make me laugh, a lot of what if and could have been moments, and just as many ahhh why did i do that?! moments. which led me to once again think what if this and that. i tend to do that a lot. what if i had met some people earlier, what if i had not met some people, what if i had made smarter decisions, but at the same time what would have happened if i didn't make the decisions that i did make. what if i didn't decide to make a decision to end things early, what if i never went out that one night, what if i did go out that other night... no one would prolly know what the hell i'm talking about but that's the thing with this. it's my thoughts. and i don't expect anyone to really read this. which is stoopid. i agree with those people who say why blog about private stuff when it's out in the public. but man screw that sometimes. i just felt like writing a long useless entry so if some people think that's stoopid and a waste of time or whatnot, ok go ahead and think that. it's a free country.
i think i have multiple people living in my head, which is prolly why i like to think from different perspectives in any situation. i'll say one thing and go on to say oh yeahh but there is this other way of thinking and all that good stuff.
one thought keeps leading to another thought. I'm a typical blood type A. it's funny the korean culture. some people like to think zodiac signs, kroeans believe in blood type. (ie: my boyfriend is type b. yall know you liked that movie) i'm a mix of two cultures so both make total sense. i'm an A who can't make decisions for my life, shy, but loud, think too much about what the other person would think, careful, talkative sometimes. at the same time i'm a cancer who's very emotional, caring, blah blah blah. (by the way that 2 out of 30 songs jsut grew to liek 4 out of 30)
this is reminding me wayyyy back in like earlllyyyyy high school days when i went over a friend's place with a group. everyone decided to watch gothika and of course me being the pussy i am decided not to and chill and write a HUGEEE entry. funny thing about me, i hate scary movies, or not so much hate them, it's jsut that i can't stand watchign them. i get anxious and while some people get a thrill out of this feeling, i don't enjoy it and get very uncomfortable, and yet i'm intrigued by them. maybe becasue i can't watch them but i still try to. like i look up scary movie trailers and wonder if i can watch it. and when there's a scary movie on tv, i decide i can try and watch it and i'm alone of all times. smart huh? this now reminds me of the time my girls and i went to watch a movie at someone's house, the movie: the ring 2. man that was a funny night. i was under my jacket most of the movie and celine wasnt able to pee with the door closed...in a apt of guys...and us all right outside able to hear...
i thought back on middle school/ early grade school. i guess i was a bit of a tomboy. i just remember clearly the one day i decided to play bball with the boys and i beat them all. believe it or not but i did. and when we used to play football during p.e. the first touchdown i scored, man what a feeling. and it felt like the first time every time. i liked to chill with the boys. not that i didn't enjoy playing with the girls though! we went on a class trip to mantika bay. i chilled with the boys. they went on the rides i liked and didn't force me to go on the crazy scary rides.
i think i'll end today with this
http://youtube.com/watch?v=NijaGeIO18Y
it's funny to hear a mini person with an accent.
oh yeah and the friend from bridget jone's diary is the voice of that weird perverted ghost girl that lives in the bathroom from harry potter
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| it's time to move on...
no looking back. only moving forward.
but why is it so hard
i miss the old days though... i was watching smart guy and man it brought me back...like i literally got the feeling that i was back hella years ago. it felt like i was at home with a new episode on...i miss the old days...only the stuff i feel nostalgic about...
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| ok so i'm like really sick of everything at this point. revelation. i'm getting rid of all this bull shit. fuck the whole try and keep what is important. i'm done. just get through 2 weeks, go home and chill, maybe come back and do first session where no one can bother me and like do their own shit i do my shit with no distractions. then go home and just get through til another year of school where i will truly just be done with everything. fuck this
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