no songs today

alright people, i know i said it before and i didn't live up to my word.  i said that i was threw with this thing and that i wasn't writin in it anymore.

well.........it's for real this time.  i just give up. peace

song playin- garth brooks- "wild horses"

well, it's been a while.

and a lot of shit has happened since i last wrote in this thing.  i just got back from florida two days ago and i am ready to go back.  i just hate this town with a passion.

school started today and it was boring as usual.  it is kind of hard to be excited when you are stepping into a school like mine where you are smarter than half of the teachers in the damn school.  i dunno, i just can't wait to get out of this town.  i mean i know and understand that wherever you go, there are always going to be people that you don't like and don't want to be around.  but come on, this town really fuckin blows.  i guarantee that there is not one person in my whole school that has a friend that they have never said a bad word about.  i have lived here so long that even i admit that i am guilty to that.  but i realize that i don't have any true friends here.  i don't even know if there is such a thing as a true friend.  i know the closest thing i have to that is casey.  me and him have been best friends since we were eight years old.  we play basketball, baseball, golf, anything that he likes to do, i do too.  we even got our first jobs at the pool this summer so we could compete for the same girls.....lol.  but even after all that, i know that when it comes down to him spendin time with his girlfriend(she hates me)  that he will go right along with the crowd talkin about me.  so.... for all of you out there who have someone that they trust with their life, i envy with you a great deal. 

anyway, on to another subject.... since i last wrote in here michelle decided to start a relationship, and have already ended it.  i don't really know any other way to put it.  i guess it will turn out for the best.  i never felt so strongly about someone in such a small amount of time as i did for her.  but it just couldn't work.

well, tomorrow is another boring day at CCHS and i am not lookin forward to it.  so, peace

song playin- alice cooper- "poison"

hey everyone... I AM IN FLORIDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i just got here this morning and i am stayin at my grandma's house until wednesday.  i couldn't be happier to get out of carroll county, i am so sick of that town.  i would rather live anywhere but there.  i have had a good time down here so far and the coolest thing is all of my cousins that i have met.  i have like seven cousins here that i haven't seen since i was two years old, which of course, i don't even remember.  they live a lot different lifestyle here then i do at home, but i am glad that i could meet and i hope that in the future we will grow closer. 

anyway....me and dad went golfing at a local course here in lake okeechobee.  it was cool to be around new surroundings, but the conditions of the weather and the course were awful.  there is a tropical storm here right now, and so the wind was swirlin everywhere.  the greens were awful, but we had a good time.  it was awesome playin around the palm trees.  i almost had a hole in one on a par 4!!!!!!!!!!!!  it was like 250 yards away, and i hit a three wood, and it hit the pin.  the ball landed less than a foot from the hole, and i tapped in for my eagle.  it was the best shot i have ever hit.

so, on to another subject....michelle, i miss you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  i have thought about you the whole time down here.  you are pretty much the only reason that i even want to come back home.  i can't wait to see you and i promise that it will be very soon. 

just wanted to say happy birthday to donnie.  THE BIG 18!!!!!!!  congrats man!  just don't spend too much time at the titty bar, it'll make ya go blind!!!lol!!!!

well, i guess that's all, i don't know what the schedule for the week is down here, but i will keep everyone posted as much as i can.

peace 

song playin-  twisted sister- "we're not gonna take it"

well..........  i don't really know what to say.

i went to the mall yesterday to see michelle.  i had a wonderful time.  she is so perfect in every way.  i care so much for her.  i know she feels the same, but i also know that she is afraid.  of what, i haven't gotten a clue.  i wish that i could be with her and just sit down and talk with no interruptions just so that i could see where this whole thing is going.  with school gettin ready to start i am ready to settle down and be in a relationship with someone, and i know in my heart that she is the only one i want, i just hope that she wants that same thing.  i just don't know.

anyway....... after i left the mall me and travis came back home and hung out with casey at the pool.  we decided to go campin last night but i didn't go, guess i just wasn't in the mood for partyin.  some girl approached me at the pool while i was there hanging out with casey, she wanted me to take her out or somethin, but i told that i didn't want to.  any other time during the summer i would have taken this girl out in a heartbeat, but it didn't feel right.  i really do care for michelle, and whether she wants a relationship or not, until i find out, i am not gona do anything to mess that up.  she is special, and i can't explain why, but she just is.

peace!

SONG PLAYIN-GEORGE STRAIT-    "NOBODY IN HIS RIGHT MIND"

HEY EVERYONE, I TRIED TO WRITE IN THIS THING EARLIER AND IT WAS LIKE REALLY LONG, AND AS I WENT TO SUBMIT IT, IT JUST LOCKED UP AND SHUT DOWN.  SO I LOST ALL OF IT.

BUT ANYWAY..........  WHAT I WAS WRITIN ABOUT EARLIER WAS NOTHIN BETTER THAN GOOD OLD FASHIONED LOVE.

I HAVE LEARNED MANY THINGS DURING MY TWO YEARS OF HIGH SCHOOL, BUT THE ONE THING I HAVE LEARNED MORE ABOUT THAN ANYTHING ELSE IS LOVE. 

I HAVE LEARNED THAT THE TERM IS THROWN AROUND LIKE YESTERDAY'S GARBAGE, AND THAT IT IS EXTREMELY OVERRATED. THAT IS UNTIL YOU TRULY DO FALL IN LOVE.  BUT HOW ARE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHEN ARE IN LOVE?  IS LOVE SOMETHIN THAT TAKES YEARS TO ACHIEVE OR ATTAIN? OR IS IT SOMETHIN THAT YOU CAN INSTANTLY FEEL IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE?  WHAT IF YOU THINK THAT YOU LOVE SOMEONE, BUT WHAT YOU REALLY FEEL FOR THEM IS ENFATUATION, LUST, A SENSE OF SECURITY, OR IS LOVE ALL OF THOSE THINGS BUNCH INTO ONE? OR IS IT NONE OF THEM?  I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA.

ALL I KNOW IS THAT I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE IN MY LIFE, AND I HAVE TOLD TWO GIRLS THAT I LOVED THEM.  THE FIRST ONE I WAS WITH FOR ABOUT EIGHT MONTHS.  IT WAS MY FIRST SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP AND I COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT HER.  WHEN WE BROKE UP I WAS HEARTBROKEN.  I THOUGHT THAT MY LIFE WAS OVER.

BUT THEN, I MET SOMEONE ELSE.  WE ENDED UP GOING OUT AND STAYED TOGETHER FOR A YEAR AND A HALF.  I THOUGHT TO MYSELF..... THIS GIRL MAKES ME SO MUCH MORE HAPPIER THAN THE PAST GIRL AND I THOUGHT THAT I HAD LOVED HER. SO, BECAUSE OF THAT, I THOUGHT THAT THIS GIRL HAD TO BE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.  MAN WAS I WRONG... AFTER THINKIN ABOUT I CAME TO REALIZE SOMETHIN...... I DIDN'T LOVE EITHER ONE OF THOSE GIRLS.... I JUST LOVED THE FACT THAT THEY WERE THERE WHENEVER I NEEDED THEM. I NEVER LOOKED AT THE FACT THAT I WASN'T HAPPY ALL THE TIME, AND THAT THEY TOOK AWAY FROM TIME WITH MY FRIENDS, AND THAT WE DIDN'T GET ALONG SO WELL AT TIMES.  SO, I DECIDED TO FACE MY FEARS THIS SUMMER.....

I TOLD MYSELF THAT I WOULD BE SINGLE FOR A WHILE AND SEE HOW I DO ON MY OWN.  I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT.  I MET SO MANY NEW PEOPLE AND I GOT TO SEE WHAT WAS OUT THERE FOR ME.  I WANTED TO MEET NEW HOPIN THAT I COULD FIND SOMEONE THAT I COULD COMPLETELY HAPPY.  SOMEONE THAT MADE ME HAPPY WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER.  BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS HOW IMPORTANT FRIENDS ARE, AND WHO IS TRUSTWORTHY, AND THAT NO MATTER IF I AM WITH HER, TALKIN ON THE PHONE TO HER, OUT WITH FRIENDS, OR JUST SITTIN AT HOME BY MYSELF, I AM ALWAYS HAPPY.  I HAVE NEVER FELT THAT BEFORE.

I AM PROUD TO SAY THAT I DO FEEL THAT NOW.  FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I AM COMPLETELY AND TOTTALY HAPPY.  I SIT AND HOME AND JUST THE THOUGHT OF HER MAKES ME SMILE. AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO KNOW ME, YOU KNOW THAT I NEVER SMILE.  IS IT LOVE THAT I FEEL FOR HER, MAYBE, I HOPE SO.  BUT I AM DEFINITELY GOING TO GO WITH THE FEELING AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.  HOPE EVERYONE HAS A NICE NIGHT.

PEACE