i am struggling to think of a proper introduction. i am struggling to think clearly. things had been falling apart for a while now and this, it seems, was the inevitable end. i have been sad all day. i have encouraged my sadness if only for something to feel emotional about. i need to make changes, i need something new. do you remember when i would write about butterflies and avocados? that was better. my mind keeps wandering back to beginnings. those are the only times that make sense anymore, everything else is just confusing.

i am barely the same person

to all my homies gettin money

i hit up this bitch every couple of months but this is the first time ive been down to write something, you know? like, i dont even know why but im all about this post right now. i felt the need to share myself with you. the new jeezy song is bangin by the way. but yeah, i havent wrote a post since freshman year. that was when brady still kicked it with us and conner was still in college. before hargrove and warren shacked up. i think i still even talked to people from high school back then too. i dunno, i miss all that sometimes when shit gets too hectic. i remember goin to yogis with borger. driving around with blake listening to sad bastard music. now im bumpin up north, its home here too. im more comfortable up here than i am in texas now and that kind of sucks. i loved texas but where i am right now in my life is great. ill always dig those times but i guess ive moved on. i seriously woke up today before my final and was thinkin about how warren isnt even gonna be in town this summer. come to think of it, neither am i. ill be in the bronx all summer, give or take a few weeks. and im definitely gonna take the train to syracuse and visit boo at least a few times. ugh, thats why i was gonna write this post too. i remember i wrote this depressing post a few months ago, like maybe in january, and i was all bummed about me and sarahs shit. we broke up again or something and i felt like shit so i wrote a quick post. and then deleted it.

but now im in such a good place. and you could give a fuck, i know. but ill want to read this in 6 months and see what was good. ah, im so happy with me and sarah you dont even know. shes rad. hopefully she'll get to come down to my hood and see 817. ill show her around, all the spots i used to hit up in high school. the jump by blakes house, trinity park, the downtown parking garages. shit like that. ill take her to conners house and kick it with him. it sucks how everything is changing but the shit that doesnt change is bummin me out too. like, i was serious when i told him to move up here with me. i wish he would. he'd love the bronx

11 hours and 40 minutes in the library today.

-wrote and revised a 4 and 1/2 page paper for english
-read 60something pages of my psychology book
-studied latin for 4 hours
-studied for and took a computer science final
-did not sleep or eat

Hoo-ray Adderall and cigarettes! Hoo-ray!

ps, i get home the 16th. yup.

some people can go and fuck themselves

so theres that

hell yeah.these motherfuckers have no idea.