well yeah...it's amazing how fast things can change.....i mean one second your completely happy and the next your dying inside.....and so confused.....but ah i may be confused at the moment...but these absurd feelings shall decrease soon....but till then i shall struggle to continue........but anyways.....im moving in with my dad soon which is going to rock.......i miss him so much....but yeah i know i didn't write much but i will later....

Love always,

Holly

Well it's been forever since i have updated so here goes!!! umm alex and me are back together!!! we have been together for a little over a month....so yeah....my step dad has been drinking a lot lately.....he actually accused alex of being on meth!!!! isn't that fucked up....i think so...but yeah....other than my step dad drinking and him and my mom fighting all the fucking time nothing is really going on....umm i got a job......but yeah.....umm.....im just seasonal....so i won't be working there in like a week....so yeah.......but i think that im gonna work at pizza hut,,,,heck yes...well kinda....well that's all for now........later

I guess I'm stupid

well wow....it's been a while since i have updated!!!.....ohh well it's not like it matters.....well here's what's going on........john is drinking.......my mom is slipping back into her craziness and won't leave him which is completely gay.......i really miss everyone and my mom won't let me go to meetings which sucks too....and school is getting gayer......if that is possible.....but yea......i don't know what to say but life is starting to suck really bad.......im starting to really miss micheal.......i love him so much and i don't know what to do......i found a v-day card he got me and the poem that he wrote and how it said he would love me forever and ever more.......i hope he still feels that ways cause i really want to be with him......but even if he did i would have to sneak around to see him which would be hard cause i was always his ride into town.....and yea......but i guess i have a while to figure this out cause he is going to be locked up for about 4 more months.......wow that sounds bad......gosh im so confused and i can't talk to my family about this cause all they will do is tell me that he is bad for me and that all im doing is going back to old friends and not moving on with my life....which in one way is true.....but how do you move on when he was the best.......i mean i do want to move on to a certain degree but he was so great in so many different ways......i love him so much but yea.....that's all for now........