A beautiful girl with georgeous eyes
Hidden in a world full of hurt & lies
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beautifully_tragic152
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Name: deanna
Country: United States
State: New York
Metro: Long Island
Birthday: 7/2/1991
Gender: Female


Interests: Add me on myspace : www.myspace.com/tragicXbeauty152
Expertise: I like: my friends,parties, shopping, making new friends, the beach, tanning, flip flop, big sunglasses, lipgloss, smiling at random people, my cell phone, hanging out, Laguna beach, playing with my hair, the rain, nail polish and shopping
Occupation: Student


Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM: tragicXbeauty152


Member Since: 8/1/2005

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Blogrings
I bought my heart at a thrift store
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love letters, 3am chats and making out in the rain
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i have candy . . . get in my van
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i throw ELectRikK kids in bathtubs.
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I check my hair in car windows & thats how I roll
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I want a boy who will throw rocks at my window!
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Flip-Flops Sneaking out Midnight walks Making out
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Monday, February 20, 2006

"You're too thin", he traces the outline of your collarbones, your ribcage. He lets out a disappointed breath and pulls you closer, like he's keeping you safe. "I love you", he says to your hair.

Lying there in his arms, you are the loneliest person in the world.

"You're beautiful", he says, and you can't be sure if he means it or not. "But I wish you would gain a few pounds". He looks into your eyes and he thinks your looking back at him, but your not.
You're afraid of what he might see.

It's snowing.

"Nighty-two pounds isn't safe", he tells you.

You are so silent you can almost hear the snowflakes colliding with the earth. You are so un moving that maybe you are invisable.

"It's why your so dizzy and tired all of the time". The look in his eyes could be mistaken for that of a scared, lonely child.

You are so scared you can barely breath.

"I'm fine", you tell him in a way that lets him know you aren't. 


"I just want to keep you forever", he wispers, placing his mouth next to your ear, his confessional, "it must be nice to know that you will always have a husband waiting for you".

You don't say anything beacause you can't hear yourself over these thoughts. You can't hear anything over your heart beat, that irregular thump that you can feel in your fingertips, clutching at your throat.

"I love you too", you manage, but you're crying too hard into his shoulder to say anything else.


Sunday, November 06, 2005

he kisses her cheek,
&& ask's if there anymore,
she
replies
,
with tears in her eyes,
what do you think my
braclets are for<3

im done with the tears,
im wiping my eyes,
if he doesn’t fucking care,
then why should i<3

 

 

 you want it the most when you can't have it once you have it, you don’t care and once you lose it.. you’d do anything to get it back .

I just want to fall into your arms I just want you to hold me & tell me everything is going to be okay.

&& she plays the song over & over again just because it reminds her of him.

When your thoughts revolve around him & he's the one you feel the happiest with; there's just something about him you don't see in other guys, and when you're not with him, the only place you want to be is in his arms then you know it's real

I want to be the girl he's scared to lose. The one he can't walk away from knowing she's mad at him. The one who he can't fall asleep without her being the last one heard'` the one he wouldn't know what to do without __ xo <3 *

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone that knows all your ; flaws differences & mistakes yet he still manages to love everything about you

 all she really wants is someone who will sit with her under the stars & not want anything more but to look into her eyes & say you're the only one I’ve been waiting for ; xoxo

& when I look at you I think, This is the boy who i spend thinking about every day Who I constantly stress myself over with Who is the reason why I cry myself to sleep every night And who I worry about every waking moment And when you smile at me I think, It's all worth it

 

Never doubt that I love you ;; I need you more than you know.. I wish I could hold you forever & never let go. You prove it more everyday that we were meant to be.. So believe me when I say you're the one for me.

you know you're in love when you wanna tell everyone about it, even when they haven't asked .. <3

 


Thursday, October 20, 2005

is this how you want it to end? me saying i hate
you? well if that's how you want it to be ..
good
luck
.. i could neverhate you<3

a boy && a girl stood in line for his favorite rollercoaster. the girl
shuddered in fear ;; her fear, heights. she glanced at the boy with watery
eyes and managed to say "i can`t do this." he put his hand on her cheek
and smiled. "i promise youu. if youu fall out, i`ll go with youu."

 

 

it`s easy to fall in love ;; it`s just hard
to find someone who is willing to catch you

 

 

We think about tomorrow, and then it slips away. We talk about forever but we’ve only got today.

 

 

And she whispers into the mirror as she wipes the running eyeliner from her eyes "I’m so stupid"…

 

So write me some love letters
So I can keep every single one
Of them and read them when
I'm lonely.

 

 

Speak to me, tell me something so typical
A lullaby or something miserable
That will keep me up all night

 

she looked at me with mascara running down her cheeks and smiled as she whispered "im so sick of pretending."

 

 

beautiful girl with gorgeous eyes
a hidden world of hurt and lies
it`s hard for her to even realize*
love isn`t all about butterflies ..

 

i wish everyone didn't have such
high expectations of me because it's
bad enough i let myself down i don't
need to let everyone else d
own too

 

 

 

there will always be that one guy that you can never get over no matter what you do

 

 

i`ll never be over you.
i`m just gettin a little better
at hiding the tears, and the
emptiness inside. and if you
asked me what i missed the
most in life i`d say it was you
- - m y . o n e . & . o n l y - -

I miss you so much ;;
your voice, your touch
but most of all, I miss


how I felt when you
hugged me . . . </3

 

&& She Saves His Voicemail
So Whenever Shes Lonely
She Can Hear His Voice

 

 

I can't forget everything we've
done. I can't pretend I'm not hurting.
I can't make you see how much I need
you back in my life. But I can put a fake
smile on my face to make you believe that
I'm happy, when really deep inside I'm crying.

 

You know it's changing, and it's
breaking your heart. There's nothing
you can do except watch it all fall apart </3

 

 

always remember to never forget the people that really love you

 SOMETiMES .. no matter how long or how hard you`ve loved someone .. they`ll never love you back. & no matter how much it hurts you`ll have to be okay with that .. x3

 my head is saying [[ w.h.o c.a.r.e.s a.b.o.u.t h.i.m ? ]] and my heart is screaming [[ i d.o ]]

 it kills me to know you're online and you won't talk to me...its just time i realize that i don't mean anything to you...and i never really did.

 Are we friends .. or are we not? You told me once But I forgot : so tell me now and tell me true so can I say * I'm here for you Of all the friends I've ever met Your the one I won't forget

 

everyone keeps telling me to just get over him && move on, but they obviously don't understand just how hard i've already tried

 

you never stop loving someone, you just learn to live w/ out them

& even when nobody’s looking, she’s s l o w l y falling apart..

so i'`ll erase everything; && i'`ll forget about you. it'`s just too bad that this; might be the hardest thing i will ever have to do.

::: the worst feeling isnt being lonley it's being forgotten by someone you could never forget:::

\

 you were my first love , my first kiss, the first who ment the world to me... and now.. you gone/ 

The promise that he made. Left broken on the floor.<3 The bruise' left around your heart left you begging <3 <3 <3 for more.'

Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in a drout, hopeless & disappointing Don`t make me wait for you, just because, you know that I will<3

 u know, i never wanted to believe this,but i think i'm finally realizin that all great things come to an end.and what u thought would never happen,happens when u least expect it. making it so much worse 


i need you. and you dont no how hard that is for me to accept. but its a whole hell of a lot easier then trying to imagine my life without you..<3333

Do you ever lay in bed` hoping That tommorow you`ll wake up In the Emergency room and You`ll hear somebody say "She`s not gonna make it thru"

 life doesnt hurt until you realize how much things have changed.. who you've lost, and about how much of it was your own fault ..`

catch me as i fall; e> say your here and it's all over now..

ThE GreaTesT FeeLinG in The wOrLd is to listen to that 'someones' heart Beating ...& knOwing that his heart Beating Like that because of .'Y o u

the hardest thing in life is trying to go back to "normal" when for the first time ever, your world was so "extraordinary" <33 

 i'm happy. as long as you know that i'm standing right next to you. And no girl will ever love you like this. <

the easiest way not to get hurt is not to care but that is the hardest thing to do

No matter how hard you try to get over someone you will still have some sort of feeling for them.. Remembering the way things used to be and, how they are now - i don't think i can ever let go.

you dont realize what you have until you lose it. and you are nothing but grateful when you get it back. 3> 
 
i lie in bed at night replaying the day in my head and 'thinking about how everything reminded me of yu, how i just wanted to hear something outside my window and see you standing in the rain...i can't even begin to tell u how much my «3 hurts

"to her he`s everything, to him shes -just another girl"

Just when i think ive lost it all ..i think of you and i realize that ive got it all <3

the scariest thing about falling in love getting hurt the scariest thing about getting hurt not being able to love again the scariest thing about not being able to love again being alone forever <3

 

 

&i don' t want to live the rest of my life thinking of you, and what might have been 

 made the choice to finally let go because my heart can't stand `' this pain. it's time for my last tear to fall && for me to smile again 

 if only he could understand how much shit he put me [ t h r o u g h ] ..

i wondered why i couldn't even look at him, without getting tears in my eyes... then i realized... my heart was broken and it shattered into pieces. <//3

 love is when thoughts of him fill your heart x3 when he means more than [ life ] to you & when you know you would never be the same again if he was taken from you *

you know it's real when you can't stop Smiling, when your thoughts revolve around him & he's the one you feel the happiest with.. there's just that something about him you don`t see in other guys.. and when you're not with Him, the only place you want to be is in his arms xOox

&& if it makes a difference, there isn't one day that you are not on my mind

i've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear because that's how much i want you </3 

 find the one you can be yourself around;; you can say whatever you want and you can laugh, you can smile, you can scream, and you can hug .. you can kiss, you can fight && make up the very end of the night .. but still be absolutely crazy about eachother

 

__________________________________

 

 

we're just trying to figure out what this is really all about

is it the numbers that we never see?

is it the power that lies beneath our feet?

 is it the cries that erupt from inside my gut?

 is it the fact I know Ill never stop?

 is it the way he teases, pinches, plays?

 is it the reason i wake up everyday?

 We lie our way through tempting nights, laying out plates, and forks, and knives.

But we're just trying to figure out what this is really all about.

is it the way it makes us feel?

twisting us into that grinding wheel, promising

salvation, beauty, and rapture once we give into this tedious torture.

Is it because he says your imperfect?

is it because they all say its not worth it?

 is it the promises that make you put up your hand?

is it the promises that make you put up your hand?

is it the boys' never ending demands?

 marks on your index remind of the time you stuck it down so far you almost died

but you make up excuses, say its ok

and then it happens again the very next day

 She makes you think your in control

and every day you pay the toll feeling worthless,

stomach pains

lying on the bathroom floor again

 

 

But I guess its always been that way `
wanting to be loved-to find someone that
makes your heart ache in a good way

 

you don't understand me..&& you never will
soo don't stat that shit about knowing how i feel.

 

Let's commit the perfect crime, ill
steal your heart && you steal mine

when he's all you're thinking of
when you got nothing else to
do.
. just do yourself a favor &*
think the whole thing through...`
.then ask yourself one question
(
is he thinking of you too? )

 

all i dream for is someone who will
cuddle with me and tell me im
beautiful when im crying my eyes out

the test of love doesnt come when you're together
it comes when you part ways [ &&
] realize that in
s p i t e of " breaking up " . . . the love is still
there ;;

so kiss me hard 'cause this will
be the LAST time that i let you*

This is the moment that you know that you told her that you loved her but you dont

wait for the boy
who will do anything
to be your everything

im shaking at your touch;;
i like you way too
much
baby, im afraid im falling for you.

she`s scared because suddenly
it's so clear how
much he r e a l l y means
to her

the worst part about being lied to
is knowing you weren't worth the truth.

Today I woke up wishing
you were HERE with me, I wanted
us to be something that we'd
probably
never be..

You know it's changing & it's breaking your heart..
There's nothing you can do except watch it fall apart.