mmmm.valentines day is comming up.  heres what i'm giving Quinton so far...

a poem, that i wrote:

i always wanted ...
a caring man and NOT a immature little boy
who would treat me with respect
who wouldnt diss me in front of his friends when i'm not there
who would be down with my homegirls
who would love me for my flaws, that my imperfections are beautiful too
who would be in love with me, not in lust
who wouldnt try to impress me, but impresses me already
who would sing me to sleep with a song he wrote just for me
who would actually take the time to love me
who would respect that i love God with all my heart, mind and soul
who would understand my pain, and what i've been thru
who would love me for my body, my mind, and my spirit
who would also be my best friend as well as my boyfriend
who would be there to support me in any way he could find
who would send me the most beautiful and random text messages
who would call just to hear my voice
who would call me beautiful, and mean it
           well baby, i think i found that man.  You.  baby, we've grown so much in the past 4 or 5 months.  i cant believe that God ever blessed me with someone like you. i thank Him everyday for you in my life.  i couldnt imagine ever bein with someone else because we're such a good couple, who are alike in so many ways.  God truly had a plan for us to meet and get together.  i dont know whats to come in our future, but i'm praying everyday that God will bless it.  You love me for who i am, and thats a hard thing for anyone to do, to love someone dispite their flaws.  I love your smile, your laugh, your style, the way you hold me, everything.  You are by far one of the most amazing people that i have ever met in my life.  i love you baby...

what you've been missing....

how could you?
the question.
the question i've wanted to ask you for 14 years
the questions infiltrate my head
like a flood, like the numerous floods of tears
that i've cried over all my 17 years
how could you daddy?
not just leave me
but leave momma too
if you loved us, then why did you leave when i was only two?
daddy how much i want to tell you that i forgive you
and daddy, i miss you
you left me with nothing, and left momma sad
but now that you're gone
how i miss fatherly love so bad
i wish you knew all the things you missed
my first car, my first date, and even my very first kiss
i wish you knew that mom, is gone
shes in heaven now, but her beauty is in every dawn
in every day i feel her beauty, i can see her, feel her, touch her
oh how i miss her.....
daddy,
we get one life
i've lived 17 years without you here
i've lived it, i've felt it
i hope you know what youve been missing daddy

well, its another blessed day in my world because i woke up this morning. because i am in good health and i am alive.  i have a person in my life who cares for me very much, who has done things for me that i never thought any man, would consider otherwise. he has made sacrifices just to see me....to be with me.  i have not told my parents about him yet. i dont know how.  how do i tell my parents (well, my gram is the one that i am concerned about really, because she has said to me before that she doesnt want me to date black guys)  that i am dating a person outside of my race? to me it doesnt matter what color he is, he could be purple for all i care.  but Q told me to wait until the time was right to tell my gram....i think hes right.  its just killing me inside to feel like i am holding a big secret, but i'm afraid that she wont let me be with him just because he is black which is so stupid.  Quinton believes in God as far as my knowlegde and thats all that matters to me or God.

we are all equal, whether Jew or Gentile.....

okay guys, i know its been the LONGEST while in which i havent written....ALOT has happened in the past few weeks.

first the bad news *since the worst of it is over (at least for me)* : On january the 16 at 2:17 pm my cousins (younger) hannah and jessica were in a car wreck near their house.  jessica died, she was 16 and she would have turned 17 on february the 5.  she got hit by a semi at 55 mph. she was the one driving the car.  hannah was on the passenger side and she is able and walking, talking but still kind of out of it, she didnt have very many significant injuries, and God is the reason why.  i mean, i dont know many ppl who have been hit by a semi at 55 mph and lived to tell about it, none the less to be full bodied and able afterwards.  The true power of God was at hand and truly it was Gods plan.  Jessica died on the spot and didnt suffer as far as we know.  And Hannah is going to make a full recovery.  The worst of it is over, the initial shock is gone, my grieving is initially gone.  i cry every once in a while but not too bad, but when i first heard about it, i was a mess. especially when i went to the hospital, oh goodness i was a wreck, but Martha, the girls mother was in worse shape than Joe, the father of the girls, apparently anyways.  there were probably about 1.000 people at jessicas funeral, which was tuesday of this week. 
but now, its all in Gods hands, theres nothing that i can do really.  just pray.

now for the good news: as you guys may know, i am dating someone.  he's wonderful and i truly know that God has blessed me with someone so amazing, its indescribable. sometimes i cant believe how perfect we are. i mean no human on this earth is perfect, but he is a perfect match for me.  i thank God every day for a person like Quinton in my life.  now onto my Godly Devotion section:

I, I am He. who blots out your transgressions for my own sake. i will NOT remember your sins. Isaiah 43:25,44:6, selected verses:  I am the first and i am the last, besides me there is no god. for who is like me...is there any god besides me? there is no other rock; i know not one. 
God is my rock, he's the one that i take my refuge in, but i love it how in isaiah he says, i wont remember yours sins {once you've confessed them}  because once you are truly sorry and realize the depth of them, that guilt is enough punishment, and God wont remember yours or even my own sins. .....now thats a loving God

hmm, well today is my chill day, tho i have read my bible i aint gonna bombard you guys with my bible study today....today is.....

MUSIC DAY!!!  let me see if i can get my music codes to work.

i listen to all kinds of music, one of my faves being reggaeton, i love spanish, rap, so obviously i love the mix of both.  one of my fave songs being "represent, cuba" by orishas

aight ya'll keep the peace of God in your hearts....