belovedservant's Xanga

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Tue, 05 Dec 2006 20:03:38 GMT

I have almost made it through this semester- I'll be done a week from today and then, only one more semester left of college.
Manny tested for fire school this weekend and made it in, so we're very happy. And sad, because he will be leaving me for three months.
A week ago today my grandfather died, so it is a really difficult time for my family, especially my grandma.
Next weekend (right before finals)- Disney with the Mayo family for "Mickey's Very Merry Christmas". Should be fun, and will help keep me from stressing too much over school.
That's about it for now folks.

thoughts on love and devotion

Tue, 12 Sep 2006 21:22:04 GMT

[W]hen you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. ~Nora Ephron, When Harry Met Sally

devotion (d-vshn) n.
Ardent, often selfless affection and dedication, as to a person or principle. See Synonyms at love.

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

it is a very strange feeling you get when you realize that you are completely devoted to someone. it goes far beyond the sweet, light feelings of love, to the solemn aknowledgement that you would do anything for them, that you are willing to go through anything and everything with them, and that you will. you realize that together you will experience not only smiles and laughter, but also tears and the deepest pain life offers... but there is a quiet joy in knowing you'll do it all together, and because of that it will somehow all be more bearable. it is a feeling, but also observance of the decision to persevere...

Friday, September 08, 2006

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 23:20:07 GMT

sometimes... life moves so fast...
it hardly seems real. like you're watching yourself in a movie-
each day becomes the other
24 hours is condensed, and sometimes
it is hard to tell if it is another day yet
suddenly you are in the very moment you dreamed
of as a child
and you don't remember how on earth you got there
yet...
i try hard to hold every moment dearly
not take for granted that i am alive
or that there is beauty in every smile, and tear, and moment
i love this journey...
we are so privileged to be right here
if i do not cherish this enough, will i lose it?

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Thu, 17 Aug 2006 12:30:05 GMT

so i have this amazing new person in my life... the last week has been incredible and i am so blessed. i've been getting questions so i thought i should set the record straight, etc. his name is Manny. yes, we are official now. no, he does not go to PBA. yes, i am very happy. :) any other questions, feel free to ask.

classes start August 28th... kinda too soon but it should be a great semester.

much love, H

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 13:51:11 GMT

i talked to a close friend of mine last night, whom i haven't seen in a while now. i was kind of filling her in on my life lately, and it was very interesting to find myself once again outlining for someone where i am spiritually. it is always changing, but i am in a really good place now i think. i believe in God, in Jesus, but God is revealing himself to me in different ways than i ever thought he would. my life no longer really looks "religious" or "Christian", it is no longer about what i do and do not do and is more a matter of seeing God in everything, learning his true character and nature, seeking truth in the universe, about myself and everything else.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Fri, 07 Jul 2006 19:56:26 GMT

hmm does anyone read this thing anymore???

Friday, June 30, 2006

Fri, 30 Jun 2006 16:58:29 GMT

(fresh from my myspace blog, for those of you who are still pure xangans...)

i have this email account i don't use anymore, but i still check it all the time to be sure i don't miss anything important... though nothing important comes to it; it's all junk and i end up just erasing every new message. i laugh at myself sometimes because it is so purposeless...

that was completely irrelevant.

last night i went and saw Da Vinci Code with a couple friends. i've been wanting to see it since i read the book, long before the movie released. so before it started we were talking, and i was explaining to a friend i haven't seen in a while where i have been spiritually over the last year or so. we were talking about the choice one must make when you reach the limit of your understanding. for a while i was pretty much set on the idea that if i could not reason and understand something about God, than i could not believe it, because that would be following in blindness and ignorance. the truth is, though, that our finite minds will never fully understand God, but just because we cannot wrap our minds around something does not mean it is not true. i hear God talk to me again lately, just a little but it is increasing. he says that if i chose just a little bit of faith, if i choose to believe some things i can't understand, he will take it from there; he will help me to understand better.

drowning

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 17:41:44 GMT

You know that feeling

of drowning...

I can imagine it a very peacful way to die.

If one can stop the panic

let the water close around your head

Though hostile to your lungs

it becomes your element

one with it, a vehicle into another world.

And that death can be an incredible experience in itself

Why not? If it is out of your control regardless...

But still I panic

I want to breathe, and water

in my chest is unfamiliar.

I break under the pressure

instead of embracing it

There is beauty in that breakdown of all things

But I fight the disorder of it all

Reaching a place where I am able to just

let go

is an goal worth having...

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Wed, 21 Jun 2006 15:37:23 GMT

God has given me some of the greatest friends i could ever have; it amazes me. i think i might actually finish my degree without leaving PBA again... :)

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 16:56:22 GMT

i am amazed by how much of a messed-up and confused person i am at times...