so last thursday i chipped my teeth.. and once i figure out how to put a pic in here i could show you.

started my job at kwik trip so i am up to two jobs- there and target. should be fun cuz i'll pretty much be working all the time.

went to oshkosh and appleton with taine and ian- met ians gf and got some cds from best buy.

today i got my teeth capped and have to wait 8 weeks to have them finished. i have to get my sis a b-day present still cuz her b-day is in 3 days.

Currently Playing The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most By Dashboard Confessional see related

so i've decided i made some real bad decisions this past weekend and i just want to shrivle up and disappear or to just move out seeing as i am 18. the one person i feel comfortable around and feel i can trust i can't see, at least for a long time. nothing would hurt me more than to not be able to talk and hang out with that one person. also more of the people i have redently met is this fucking town are not talking to me, but hey, i should be used to it by now. definately don't know what to do. i just am so angry-frustrated-hurt-stupid-FUCKED.

so what did i do, i bought some fake nails so i couldnt bite my real ones any more, hopefully. i work the next two days and also have finals. pretty sure i didnt do good on chem cuz the MOLE was a big part of it and the teacher def didnt even teach us how to use it and what not. LAW will probly be the only other one i'll have trouble with.

i finally applied to milwaukee but am having second thoughts and might apply to oshkosh as well. i just can't wait until i am out of high school. i hate everyone there and what it stands for. living on my own scares me but i honestly can't wait right now. maybe its a bad idea but i dont care so much. damnit, i am really negative again, i really thought things were going to be good again for a while, FUCK ME and my stupid thoughts and vulnerbility..

today was an alright day. i went to school for first hour and totally felt like i either wanted to puke or to faint so i went to the nurse and she said i didnt look good at all and had me call home. scott said i could come home but sounded sort of angry about it. i was scared to drive just cuz i felt so shitty. i got home and just went straight to bed. woke up when my mom got home, about 1-130, had some cereal, went back and just watched tv in bed.

i started to feel better so i came downstairs and decided that i was gunna order a sweatshirt from ae. then ate some chicken and went and got gas. joe gave me a call and he came over and we just chilled for a while. it was pretty cool, something about that kid... not quite sure what it is though..

college.. theres another fun topic, fuck applications

times they are a changing..

so i wish i could be happy, don't think that will be happening anytime soon though. i've basically fucked up the chances, for a while at least. some one definately was out to get me and it's all catching up right now...

all i want is to go back to like fucking i dont even know.. have i ever truly been "happy"?? is there such a thing?? i have my car and no job apparently seeing as im not on the fucking schedule any more and my bosses arent telling me shit - i must be fired or laid off or something, it would just be nice if i knew. college is a fun story too, i can't finish my app. cuz i dont know what to say. i want a day off from life.

people are so annoying to me right now. i still am not even sure if i have friends, two people told me that they are my friend, yay for me. but who am i kidding.. i seriously feel like shit and feel like i have no one i can completely trust cuz i always get fucked over in the end. maybe i should just move again, maybe a dif state, things probly wouldnt change even then seeing as i have lived in four towns and each town has just been shittier than the last. it would be fun to know what everyone thinks of me but are you going to tell me...??

definately at school..

so yesterday was taine's bday so i went to fdl and ate her cake and ice cream and then me her and ian headed to fazoli's for soda and breadsticks yummy.. and now i dont feel like doing this any more.