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Sunday, April 20, 2008

  • something strange happened... i grew up...

    Life has this strange way of telling you that it's time to finally step outside of the comfort that you've known for a long time and do something different... for me it's an aching back. Let me explain... and this is a metaphor... of sorts...

    About 3 weeks ago I started waking up at 3am with terrible back aches... I would try to go back to bed but usually only sleep for another hour and get up with an even worse back ache, and I would continue to fight it until I felt the hour was suitable enough to get out of bed, usually 7:30am. Last weekend I went to Chicago and stayed at this resort... wait back up... let's start with something else. My sketch comedy group was getting ready to premiere our second short film, Mature Readers Only, and I had been put in charge of the event to premiere it at... I had just about 3 weeks to get all the acts, sell advertising, make the ads, and put on a well oiled event, no small feat... in the middle of this however, was my said-Chicago trip... now back to that...

    I was attributing my back pain to the stress of the event, however, in Chicago, I slept iN this bed that was nothing short of a cloud with sheets on it... it helped the back a little but the pain was still there. The conference did two things... a.) It made me finally consider working at a camp as a legitimate career move, and something I'd be (gasp) good at... and b.) well that a much longer lesson learned... continue reading...

    I returned to Muncie, to find all but two of my ads had been sold. I was so relieved by that, but still knew that within 3 days I'd have to put this thing on, while still going to work everyday...

    On Monday, my boss sat me down, and told me that if she had to say now whether she would hire me for the summer or not, she wouldn't... and I can't make excuses for it, because I haven't been the most cooperative employee, and all of the points she made were vaild... but it was a shock that went through me. I had a reasonably-well paying summer job lined up, I was going to work this summer and then move to Indy and slack off for a month or two while job hunting... and the threat of this being taken away from me was there...

    Wednesday was the event, I had previously asked for the day off work to focus and finish the event... which had I not gotten the day off, wouldn't have happened. Wednesday also sets of into motion a three-day streak of run-ins with cops... We got the cops called on us for "running in the street, throwing bottles and heckling" all of which were not true and made up by unhappy passers-by. Wednesday night came along and the event went great, everyone who helped was awesome and I appreciate them for that. Afterwards I was exhausted, but I still went to the Herot and celebrated the event and the movie with some friends, and then I went home and crashed.

    The next day, I literally was running on coffee and dreams, as I had only gotten 3 hours of sleep after an 18 hour day, and one of the worst back aches so far. I thanked my boss for the day off the previous day and went about my work. That night my friend Tommy had a show for his band Tommy and the Tommies. The show was like this: Tommy stood in front of the crowd, behind him were two large screens which had two duplicate Tommies on each, each one playing a different instrumnet and wearing different clothes... and all in sync, and playing great music. Needless to say, I was impressed. I had seen Tommy working on this project and had wondered what it was for, and when I saw it, I was floored. Tommy introduced me to his mother, who was a social worker, and we gabbed for 20 minutes about social work, it was nice.

    The wrap party for the movie was that night also, and I went, but not before going to Dill Street to see my friends, who really I hadn't seen in almost a two weeks, which is borderline unnatural. At the party was the second run-in with the cops... The came to the house for a noise violation, asked if everyone was 21, which they weren't, but everyone lied, and the cops left after telling us to keep it down.

    Friday, I had the morning from work off and didn't have anything to do until 1pm when I had to interview someone for a posistion at work. We we finally went back to work we had a meeting. My boss has gone ga-ga over this guy who writes staff training manuals named Michael Brandwein. It was one of the hardest meetings I ever had to endure... my mind wasn't there... I was still tired, and my back still hurting... when the meeting was over I went to hang out with my friends at Dill Street like I do every Friday... however I had made plans to leave to go to Ball State Carnival, so I drank as quickly as I could and went to the carnival. When I arrived I decided the line was too long and called my friend Ben, he told me to meet at Kirk and Al's and we'd go to the Herot... and we did... at this point I wasn't in a drinking mood... I still had a drink, but it didn't satisfy me. Eventually Kirk took me back to Dill Street, where I needed to catch up, and I did and then went past them, very quickly. Kirk, Ben, and Dan arfrived soon after and eventually I wound up on Kirk and Al's front lawn. One of the worst nightmares I ever had was coming true. I was that guy. I was passed out on the lawn of a house that didn't belong to me... I was a burden. The third run-in with the cop happened then. A cop pulled up asked if I was okay, and then turned on his lights, which immediately woke me up. I shot up and began eating cheese popcorn, before I eventually uttered: "Sorry." To which the cop laughed and drove away. The next thing I remember is waking up in the living room, and leaving.

    I won't go into every detail of Sunday, but I shot a sketch, and then at around 10 I went to see Forgetting Sarah Marshall... I was so lost for a while because I couldn't figure out where it was going, but then after it finished I was happy with it (PS Go see it, it's hilarious. PPS Also beware there is male full frontal nudity.). But I realized something abotu a hour later, because I tend to think about movies I watch for a while... That movie was life. It was this guys life for a week, all this stuff happened, and some of it was strange, but it all happened for a reason, his reason was to get over an ex-girlfriend...

    All the stuff that happened to me this week made me realize many things... first is the b.) from beforehand... b.) It's okay to fully rely on someone to get the job done if you trust them, aka You're not Superman... I learned that all I wanted this year was actually in front of me... friends... don't get me wrong, my best friends live in New Albany, IN and Haines City, FL, but I was searching for someone to be that for me while I have spent all this time away from them, I just hadn't realized it was going to be over 20 people... which leads to another lasting lesson, I'm a handfull, I'm like a child, I rely on people to get me through my crap, but when I need help I refuse to take it unless I'm forced... I'm 23 years old, this shouldn't be happening... I don't ever want to take to another police officer in any of those situations again, maybe I shouldn't put myself in those posisitions...

    I woke up today with my back still hurting, but I know why. It's a growing pain... Just like when your knees get crickety, or you get that first gray hair... it's a sign. My body's getting older, maybe it's time my mind caught up... While growing up is a lifelong process and I may never be fully there, I would like to think that I grew up a little bit this week...

Thursday, February 28, 2008

  • don't ask me why... but i really like the new panic at the disco song "nine in the afternoon"....

    also if you get around to it... the new josh kelley album is really good... and so is the spill canvas...

Monday, February 11, 2008

  • This is the Way I Am...

    So... some of you may not know this... but I’m crazy... Like literally I am insane... I do the oddest things, and it’s all very familiar to me but I’m starting to realize that other people just aren’t getting it... this is the way I am...

    1. I hate condiments, any texture and taste... hate them all... however the exceptions are there... Worcestershire, BBQ, Sweet and Sour (only the gold kind), apparently queso (according to my father), and in one condition, Kethup and mustard (only if it’s already on the burger)... I will never touch a salad dressing or mayo... never... the smell makes me want to puke...

    2. I flip-flop a lot... this is probably the one thing my good friends would change about me if they had to pick one thing... I can’t make up my damn mind... This is why I am impulsive... because I know that if I want something I may only want it for a short amount of time... In the past year to a year and a half I have gone from the liberal side of politics to conservative... From extremely outgoing to very private... From being overly confident to thinking absolutely nothing of myself... and those are just the big things...

    3. When I’m trying to get over someone I have an extremely elongated process, and I should probably reconsider it... The very first thing I do is shave my head... Old hair = old girl, new hair = new possibility... The second thing I do is go out... a lot more than normal, I stay out later than usual, and I usually drink more... Next I start writing (hello stage 3!) about it inappropriately and begin alienating people... Fourth, mix tapes, but only for me... Fifth (it probably won’t come to this in the current situation) I inexplicably dislike the former object of affection... and everything associated with them... that step lasts a long time unfortunately... and the Sixth, I stop seeing that person as an object of attraction and begin to see them as a friend and I person I would never want to lose... it took me almost a year to go through all those steps the last time... this time it’s looking like the end is already near...

    4. I’m extremely unorganized... I have no clue where anything is, as much as I claim to know...I have stacks of papers, books, dvds, and who knows what else all over the place, and in these stacks are hidden things, like remotes, lids, necklaces, ridiculous items... I need a system...

    5. My entire life revolves around not doing dishes... if I can get out of washing a dish I will... I don’t know how many times at my old house I lied about whether a dish in the sink was mine or another roommate’s (sorry, Dan)... I use paper plates, plastic silverware, and water bottles, to avoid dirtying a dish... that being said I still somehow always have a pile of dishes... why? because they don’t make the bowls I like in disposable form, or the pots and pans I use... and somehow I always have a glass or cup sitting around, don’t know how, it’s just there...

    6. My knowledge of pop culture is ridiculous, in fact I think it’s a sickness... there is no reason for me to know about all that stuff... what possible use do I have for mindless trivia... it’s baffling...

    7. I struggle with popularity... I'm not going to lie, I'm border lining famous in Muncie... I swear I see at least 25-30 people I know once a day... and I usually sit at home all day... when I was on-campus for classes every other day last semester, that number hovered around 50... so I have to keep up my appearances... usually the people I see aren't usually good friends, although I usually see about 5 people a day who seem to generally care... so I'm pretty much not allowed to seem like things are bothering me... I know I've told many people in my life I don't let the little things get to me... I do... they drive me nuts... the fact that my undershirt is a half inch lower than my polo right now is driving me up the wall... little things run my life and cause the next to things to occur...

    8. I have an unnatural relationship with my best friends... especially Dan and Danny, and I'm sure if Jackie was still around and not 1500 miles away, it's be like that with her too... I call Danny everyday, at least once... and we have 10-15 minute conversations... about nothing, but I look forward to them... Dan and I act as if we are a couple... we don't see each other everyday anymore, and it makes it that much worse when do hang out... we're very odd... Jackie has become my rock... She gets all the problems that Danny hears about, but get less 20% of the quirkiness... I call Danny when I need to know whether "God Only Knows" or"Wouldn't It Be Nice" is a better love song... I call Jackie at 2 in the morning when I'm drunk and have no idea what I'm doing with my life...

    9. No one is ever allowed to hang out at my apartment... My apartment is my place of solitude... which is something I've learned to love... I hate living alone, but the alone time is nice... it's kind of always that way... if I'm in my room, leave me alone... When I'm in a common area, I'm free game... My room may be messy, but it's comfortable to me... but since I live in an efficiency... my room is my apartment... I don't mind if Terry wants to stop by and watch 24... or if Dan needs to get out of his house... but no one else has ever been here... I've had people drop me off or pick me up, but they don't come up... this is my temple...

    10. Rap music is my happy place... If I ever get sad... I listen to rap... It's sometimes the most impressive thing to listen to... and as white as I am now, it still speaks to me... That's the one thing I will always remember about where I came from... I know what it's like... I made it out of that terrible place... I can share in that struggle...

    lastly...
    11. I'm extremely self-aware... you don't need to point things about me out, unless it's very obvious I don't know... I know what I'm doing... I've never been in such a state that I don't know my environment... why else would I write such a detailed blog about myself... these things I know... there's tons more little quirks... I never cease to amaze myself... and I know exactly what I'm doing...

Monday, January 28, 2008

  • it's near...

    I went to Anderson today to pick up a phone I don't want... Anderson's scary... it makes me like Muncie more... weird...

    I got this new album by the band called Every Avenue... so good... I will always listen to poppy music as long as I think they have talent, or at least as long as the vocalist has talent...

    I was sick all week last week... and I'm an the tail end of it now... which is good... by Wednesday I'll be out in the nightlife again...

     

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

  • This must be it...

    Well here we are... it's 2008, and I'm still so bored that I feel compelled to use this...

    I have an internship right now at Camp Isanogel, which is a camp that serves people with disabilities. It pretty much blows, because there's nothing ever to do... but the days somehow go by without me wanting to kill myself, so that's good news...

    Something Else is filming a short film (about 20 minutes in length) called The Last Mullet... it's about the last mullet in America... I played the bad guy, the judge... and it's probably the third or fourth starring role... so that's awesome... and I look good with my hair and makeup done...

    Other than work and filming I mostlyu try to sleep, or catch up on some TV...

    It's a boring life, but someone's gotta live it...

billdizzle

  • Visit billdizzle's Xanga Site
    • Name: billy
    • Country: United States
    • State: Indiana
    • Birthday: 11/28/1984
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 5/3/2004

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