| | D-Day Minus 4
Everyone's been asking me lately if I'm excited about the wedding. And the answer I always give is "no", because I'm really not feeling what normal people would term "excitement". I just don't have the emotional capacity for it, I'm sorry.
A state of excitement carries with it a sense of uncertainty and lofty expectations with the possibility of disappointment. I know perfectly well what it is I'm getting into and eagerly anticipate the day. But I don't expect any surprises or disappointments, either.
What will happen this Saturday is the logical fulfillment of my relationship with Christina in the covenant of marriage. We [and many of our conscripted friends] have been planning and preparing and laboring towards this day for a long time, and we've come to the final stretch. I have a very clear picture in mind of how the day will pass, and I will dole out the appropriate emotions as necessary.
Yes, I'm a hopeless romantic.
I'm not going to whoop and holler the days before, nor am I going to puke my guts out and get cold feet. We've been waiting for this day, and I think the sentiment we both have is, "At last."
But for all our preparations and planning, ultimately this is a day that God has ordained and ordered far above and beyond our efforts. I'd like to attribute my unnatural calm and repose to a confident assurance and faith in God's gracious provision and sovereignty, but maybe I'm just a sad sack of emotionless flesh.
On Saturday, though, all bets are off.
If you see me crying at the altar or expressing unusual amounts of enthusiasm or zeal, honestly, it's only because all this pain-in-the-rear planning is behind us. I've got this strange, tingling sensation in my stomach, but I think it's an ulcer.
p.s. As a housekeeping note, the website for the wedding will be updated sometime before Jesus comes back. And we are registered at Bed, Bath & Beyond and Crate & Barrel. Sorry to be such a cold, calculating pragmatist, but that should come as a surprise to no one.
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| | Posted 10/17/2006 11:47 PM - 9 comments
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