|
| They can't even tell when I cry,
So how can they see when I'm broken?
And when no one else can see me,
Who will catch me when I fall?
------------------
But if you jump in and catch me,
Will I be able to tell you were the cause?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Both are separate and complete, and only slightly related, thoughts.
| | |
| "I don't like my family, that's why!!!"I'm gonna have to spend the 4th with my family again.
I had to do that last year.
I didn't see a single firework last year.
And had to deal with that man I refuse to call my Uncle.
That was a disaster.
She knows I don't like him.
She knows I love setting off my own fireworks.
And she dares to call me selfish.
Whenever we went to see the fireworks downtown,
She always refused to go.
Now,
Just 'cause her son wants to go,
We have to spend the day with him and his family.
And she dares to call me selfish.
We're always trying to please her.
But as soon as somebody wants to do something they want to,
She dares to call them selfish.
Fuck that shit.
I'm playing video games.
She can kiss my ass.
~Hana
| | |
| Information is not knowledge;
knowledge is not wisdom;
wisdom is not truth;
truth is not beauty;
beauty is not love;
love is not music;
music is the best.
~Frank Zappa
Learn it.
Know it.
Love it.
Live it.
...
well...
I will.
| | |
| I have Ulquiorra on my desktop.
He's... ohmigod.... gorgeous.
His eyes are stunning.
I might make it my layout on here...
Maybe.
I'm kinda tired.
I need to work.
And stop crying.
Not the point.
I need to work.
I know in my head that I need to work.
I. Just. Can't. Do it.
I can't find the motivation.
I need to.
I have to.
I'm letting people down hour by hour.
Minute by minute.
I need to talk to someone.
I think.
I refuse to be the first to contact someone though.
I'm loosing it.
I think.
Maybe it's nothing.
I dunno.
It's finally sunk in.
I'm locked in my house.
In school.
During the summer.
And everyone's gone.
Not everyone.
It just... feels like it.
I need to go.
Work.
I'm going to slap myself till' I work.
Don't worry.
Not literally.
~Hana
I only have to turn the page twice before I'm done.
That shouldn't take too long...
Right?
| | |
| So it's been a while. A long while. Well... at the moment.... I'm a mixture of different things. Mostly emo/disappointed/angry. I was really looking forward to go to my therapy today, but it didn't happen. Partly my mom's fault partly my own. It doesn't matter. I just have to wait... two weeks... before I can see my therapist... Only... two weeks. >o< Damnit... summer school was going to bad. I wanted to talk to her. Fuuuuuck. Oh well... maybe I can talk my mom into getting an appointment for next week... Well... I'm off to do that. I will know leave you with something from last night:
By whatever name,
I am myself and nothing more.
A servant and friend and nothing more.
I want it this way.
Strangely enough, I like it this way.
Don't make me change it.
This is as close as I can get,
So just leave me this way.
Use me,
Abuse me,
Punish me,
You don't even have to love me,
Just don't abandon me.
I want it this way,
I like it this way,
So won't you let me keep it this way?
I think Default sang it best:
"Can hold my breath only for a little while,
'Til reality starts sinking in.
Once again I'm settling for second best,
Turn the pages skip to the end
To where I swore that I would try
Since the last time I crossed that line
In the back of my mind I know
It only hurts when your eyes are open
Lies get tossed and truth is spoken
It only hurts when that door gets open
Dreams are lost and hearts are broken"
Angst-y? Maybe.
~Hana
| | |
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