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Name: Rae
Country: United States
State: Massachusetts
Birthday: 6/24/1982
Gender: Female
Interests: writing, singing, reading, hanging out with friends, remembering minute details from books long ago read and/or movies watched, making people laugh and smile, cars -specifically old american muscle cars (CHEVY BABY!!), computers -ya you can call me a nerd, but then remember to pay me the money to fix yer computer. :P
Expertise: i'm awesome at remembering things that i'm not necessaryily supposed to remember, but i do anyways. haha... i'm good at being mysterious.
Occupation: Sales
Message: message me
Member Since:
11/17/2003
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| todaytoday i walked up and down a steep hill from main st to harvard st in worcester ten times. ha
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| flashback
| 'it's
not real' they said. they said anything's possible. and i said 'not
quite'. who here likes to control people's answers by asking twisted
questions?? raise your hand!! i do i do!!! i always knew you were just
like everyone else. you're not an individual. you're like
ALL.THE.OTHERS. man, i wish i could be like all the others. hah, like
fuck you don't. trust me. why do i always blend in?? no one can hear me
screaming. well scream louder LOSER!!! the garbage these days in the
school system. i'm appaled that they'd let our children read such
things! well, it's so damn sad what gets censored these days. it's just
so damn sad... *shakes head* why don't you just censor their damn life
while you're at it. it's all the same. a bunch of labels. but
seriously, who the hell cares. not a single person. and you know what?
i figured. |
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| nothingness
The eyes look so glassy staring back at me. There’s just no feeling, not as far as I could
see. The smile is not warm and the face
has gone numb. I wish I knew how to put
it all back to where it begun. The hair
it is brushed with the most exact care. And
the clothes they are worn with a little flare.
But it’s not really there, the light has gone. It can’t be found in any words or a
song. I’ve tried so hard to find feeling
in those eyes. But now all I see is an
elaborate disguise. Glassy eyes
reflecting in the mirror, glassy eyes looking back at me.
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| new ending
Don’t let yourself be taken advantage of. And that’s exactly
what I did. I let him in, I let him win and it would never happen again. I hated myself for so long and I doubted what
I felt. That is no more… that is no
more; I’ve left my evil sin.
I felt his fist of hatred upon me, and I knew it was his
truth. I always knew, I always knew that
was just the proof. The proof of what
was inside, was then on my outside. The
blood it poured and the bruises they appeared under my tears as they fell.
It’s all been erased, every last minute. I forgot everything that was good, or could
have been good on that day this winter.
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| a great poem i came across..I Got Flowers Today by Paulette Kelly ©1992 I got flowers today!
It wasn't my birthday or any other special day;
We had our first argument last night;
And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt;
I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said;
Because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today!
It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day;
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started choking me;
It seemed unreal, a nightmare, but you wake up from nightmares;
And I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over -- I know he must be sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today!
And it wasn't Valentines Day or any other special day;
Last night he beat me and threatened to kill me;
Make-up and long sleeves didn't hide the cuts and bruises this time;
I couldn't go to work today because I didn't want anyone to know -- but I know he's sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today!
And it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day;
Last night, he beat me up again, and it was much worse than all the other times;
If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about money?
I'm afraid of him, but I'm too scared and dependent to leave him! But he must be sorry;.
Because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today...
Today was a very special day.-- It was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally killed me;
If only I would have gathered the courage and strength to leave him;
I could have received help from the Women's Shelter, but I didn't ask for their help;
So I got flowers today--for the last time. | | |
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