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blushingbunni
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read my profile
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Name: Yola
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: San Francisco
Birthday: 3/31/1983
Gender: Female
Interests: finding a positive outlet for my rage because it's so exhausting to hold in. I'd also like to become invincible.
Expertise: Baking, cleaning, cooking, complaining, lethargy, yoga & pilates, procrastinating, organizing, eating, anime, swimming, rockclimbing, boyfriending, killing (insects), movies, and movies about killing. rage-ahol & sewing, but only at the same time. Spaztastic.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Textiles
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/5/2006
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| If you couldn't tell....I happen to be a private person. I don't kiss and tell. I don't kill and tell either. Maybe I'll put up some pictures every once in a while, but it's not like I'm illuminating every last detail of my life here. That's why I post thoughts and emotions going through my head at the moment instead of broadcasting the events play by play.
For an example, my was able to convey to you that me and my then-dearly beloved of 5 years called it quits without me cutting to The Scene and uploading the dialogue like some sappy movie. I gave monthly updates that I re-entered the dating world with a bit of hope- even with no head on my shoulders.
I do not display blood on my hands - finally letting that Ex know that you've really moved on is like hammering in the stake and cutting off the head of a creature that will just keep draining your life if you show mercy. ( I know guys, I know. )
It so happens that I'm working on my next big project that could help get my foot in the door. It so happens that at the same time, I'm dating a gentleman who motivates me to challenge myself. It so happens that I like working in solitude when it comes to personal goals, which means I refuse to speak about my plans until I have execution in progress.
My parent's do not and will not have the capacity to understand this: Privacy. They cannot fathom my need for space to chase my dreams without being constantly subject to degrading criticism, incessant nagging of how I should spend my time, and unwelcome dictatorship of how I will meet my deadlines. (My deadlines.) They furthermore cannot distinct between dates, dating, dating exclusively, and a relationship- in the 21st century.
Some of my friends may or may not have developed the ability to sense this: Boundaries (mine, specifically). I am at a steep turning point in my life, and at times I've felt overwhelmed because I haven't had much change for that many years (ei, my head exploding a lil while back). More than anything i have a greater desire to catch up with the rest of you... at some point we'll be an a similar stage in life. I think its an advantage of mine that I have different clumps of friends care for me and are willing to share with me their take- it's not bad to be a floater. I can sense your genuine concern and growing curiosity. You've made a point that I've got this tragic combination of being disarmingly charming because I come across bubbly and gullible and vulnerable, but I've also got a spine and a finger and I'm not afraid to use it! (not like that)
At some point though, I want to run off and learn from my own experiences and mistakes, because I haven't had that many yet. This is definitely a work-in-progress. (ei. What not to do; why 6 shots in one night is a bad idea for a woman of my stature; when to have in depth discussions about why women will and will not admit to flatulence.)
I will, however, keep you all posted.
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| Pick your battles.Have you ever felt the vicious fangs of jealousy pierce into you like hot knife into butter? Its potent venom steadily spreads throughout your existence no matter how hard you try to keep your cool. You're fighting to keep a normal blood pressure and if you succeed, maybe your head will stay on your shoulders.
But why does it feel like a losing battle? I shouldn't feel this way, not when there's no reason to.....
I guess you don't realize how much you do like someone until you feel yourself warping into this...thing.
It's sooo ugly. It's fugly.
I need it to leave my system. I need to get out.
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| What is your favorite movie quote?
"It seemed like a good idea at the time." Live Free Die Hard
I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too! I like watching movies. It distracts me from the pain I've had from oral surgery. I went out yesterday and today to run some errands- so very exhausting. After an entire week of being in bed, sick and/or stoned, my body feels really weak. All the muscles are like "Work? Movement?! Yeah, good luck with that!" It turns out I've lost like 5 or 6 pounds worth of good humor to disease and drugs.
For those of you who don't know:
I had oral surgery last week- implant and bone grafting. My specialist put a metal bolt through my jaw, cut open a flap of my gums, put in a piece of cow bone, and sewed the flap back up very intricately. When I wasn't knocked out from painkillers, I was awake and nauseous from antibiotics- followed by an inability to chew. I was on a liquid diet for a week.
Needless to say, I was ecstatic when someone offered a burger patty on Sunday.  When my mouth doesn't hurt again, I'm going to get some toasted wheat bread and chew gum all day.
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| 3 months later....I think I did good.....
I went on a date a while ago.... went well.
If you don't date at all, you're wallowing in your own unhappiness- and you'll be bored. If you date everyone who might ask, then you'll probably have a lot of crappy dates- poo.
I'm just glad I can have fun again.
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| Dating for Bunnies- er, Dummies
I realize the Declaration of Independence was just that for me-
declaring myself as an individual, seperate from the DuoThatOnceWas . I
like the Idea of
dating again... pleasant company, food, talk, fluffy happiness that might follow- but I realize I've racked up like only 3.5 experience
points in the game of dating and that's like not even enough to take on
a boss.  How does this go again?  How do I sit still and not be fidgety and talk about happy things and make eye contact for X amount of time and not be like in a staring contest cuz I'd lose or be super-uninterested looking cuz too much eye contact is really weird or do I just keep rambling on and on and on and end up choking on my food/coffee/water/soda/pretzel and shoot food chunks out my nose from laughing at something stupid and then keep thinking about all this shit all at once until my head completely explodes??!
Yeah, it kinda scares me. "What, you want a date??! ( *gasp* The D Word) With me?! Look what's that over there?" *runs off- me-shaped dust cloud remains*
Do you settle for going on multiple Interviews(semi-date) with prospectives (other single guys) with ppl you're not even interested at all just because it's a chance to put yourself out there? Or while being bored for a while do you just hang onto being singleness with a deathgrip until a compatible person shows up (and then put on your running shoes?)
Cuz for me, it's either (A) that person was nice.... or (B) WOW he's so cool I like him and I want to jump up and down and give him this cool candy wrapper I kept that has cute colors printed on it!!
Or if you've met RightMan at the wrong time, do you politely ask for friendship at the possible risk some other lucky woman will have him before your heart can even reopen its petals to take in the light? (More than 5 seconds at a time?) Or do you force yourself to date him even though you're not ready cuz you don't want to pass up the chance on an awesome fellow serial-monogamist? Or do you say, "I like you lots, let's just be friends right now cuz I'll have to wait 'till later to be a good dater?"
Fucken ChikenShit Shit. *head explodes*
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