hey havnt been doing much but PACKING! i went to new york yesterday with my mom and sis. it was my sisters 25th birthday. it was so much fun. we got like a million pina coladas. texas style. haha but im leaving tomorrow. i cant explain how much of a relief it is. but i must say im going nuts like trying to let the time passby. well. just wanted to say im leaving tomorrow lol. ill write on like thursday or something. about how wonderful my in n out hamburger was. lol. now i have to go dye my hair red. lata!

you gotta heart me

x33 Shaina

Currently Listening Monkey Business By Black Eyed Peas see related

- My lumps

Yeah so last night i went bowling with Andrea Sugar and her lil sis. It was a veryyy fun night. i love hanging out with just the girls. bowling can be used to describe so many things. and i can think of a million now. but i dont think im gonna bore you. 5 MORE DAYS TILL I LEAVE BITCH! aww man its goingto be great. well yeah not much to write. lataaaa

you gotta heart me!

shanayna x33

Currently Listening Love. Angel. Music. Baby. By Gwen Stefani see related

- cool

oh lord. im dying thinking ofthis too.

wow i just wrote a crapload of shit. but i just deleted all of it. it was too deepe for eyes to see. ill write more tomorrow. ok goodnight now.

you gotta heart me. . . at least i hope so

Shaina x33

So basically. Im sitting here. thinking of random things. listening to slow songs. and songs that basically make my cry for different reasons.

could anyone explain to me why life is so complicated? i love my life so much but then i hate it. dont take it personal to anyone reading this. but dont you think its normal to long for something so much? i just wish i could take everyone back with me. loving two different worlds makes my life so complex. one world is great. i have some people  ive learned to love here. theyve made it so comforting for me to live here. i drive down the streets here and look at al the beauty. look at the old barns and green for miles high. all the the trees sparkling with its tremendousness. its so breaktaking.but only secretly. while im sitting in the car. i think to myself. wow im gonna miss this damn state. but this is the first im ever admitting it publically. ive practially become one of a local here. i mean ive been here so long ive lived half of my life here already. tears are aboutto come out as im listening to my chemical romance. you people may think the beauty here is shit. but you should be lucky you at least have beauty here. its been amazing. and im glad to spend a lot more time here. i think moving here defines who i am now. this place has met some of my needs. but it doesnt fullfill my everything...

and theres another world that i would give anything for my loved ones in the first world to see. everyone i know in this world loves me no matter what. they stay true to who i am and what i do. and always love for me to visit. youd be amazed how beautiful the cement here really is. its everything ive ever wanted. cept for not staying there permanantly. i cant describe how this world makes me feel. its like the only place i can forget about everything. and no matter what always have a smile on my face. it sets my soul free to an extent no one truly knows. things have happened to me here that i willl never in a million years forget every detail of. two worlds ive finally come to realize i love. wow. ive said it. i love both of them. i love all the trees. i love this stupid town. i love my friends. i sometimes even love my school. i love my boyfriend. ahhoh so amused with myself right now. i dont know what the fuck im trying to say. i guess it all comes down to this.

ill miss this. but when im here. i miss that to an overextreme. ugh i hate this feeling. ive just figured out that im a city girl to no extent and belong there but no matter what, there now has been a little piece of country girl molded inside my heart and itll never leave my system no matter how city like my life turns out to be. ok now im thinking about something different. next entry.