Graduation

Lonely

Well I have not posted on here in forever.  I have been posting mainly on myspace.  But, I would not mind a few coments so I figure I will post on here.  I am really strugling right now.  I am extremely lonely.  figures with Valentines day being this wednesday.  The worst holiday.  I hate this time of year.  It is cold which would be great weather if you where coupled up but I am not so it sucks.  I mean it seems like every one is finding love these days or at least affection from the oposite sex.  My brother has even started flirting again and he broke up with his fiance a few months ago.  I don't know how Tim Green does it.  What is even worse is that I can't even gather up the guts to ask any one out on a date, even a simple casual one.  Sometimes I ask myself why I couldn't be more like my brother.  I know the right pearson is out there.  I just wish I knew.  I just would like to have someone who I can hold and spend time with.  Someone who I can stay up talking to or sit outside on a nice evening and look at the stars or even just watch a movie. Again I am just really lonely.  I even feel many times that i am not apreciated.  I mean I have alot of friends here at Trevecca but very few close ones.  I don't know.  This is just ramblings.  It may not make since.  I just need to get this out and writing helps.  I woud like it for once if someone liked me who I would actually be possibly interested in dating.  I probably would not be able to tell if they did because i am a moron in that category.  Well this is just ramblings.  I hope everyone is having a good day.  Goodnight y'all time to go be productive.

This is the short man signing off.

Home Sweet Home

Well for all my readers.  The few of y'all who still exsist you may also see a version on Myspace because I am not sure which one y'all read more.  Well here goes anyway.  Well I was able to go home this weekend.  Yes, I no fall break was last weekend.  But, I was not able to go because I had to go to a weeding plus my parents where gone on a cruise so there was no point.  Well, Scott had gone home and picked up my brother so naturally I get the privelage of bringing him home.  So instead of meeting my parents at the atlanta airport I just brought him nack the whole way because they where getting in later on saturday anyway.  It was nice to get away from campus I was able to hang out with some friends back home and get to relax.  The only downside was that their was no food in the house because my brothers and our friends ate everything the weekend before.  I was definitly glad to get away from campus and be no where near school.  Now I am back and I think I am energized to start really pluging hard.  Hopefully I can get caught up on some stuff and really do well this semester.  I still have the potential to pull my grades up from last year.  Anxiety is still high with me graduating in the spring/summer.  Now I hope to get into a school and persue an RN program and them maybe go do some mission work.  Who knows.  I am trying to leave that up to God.  Which by the way y'all can pray for me about.  I am realizing I am having a hard time giving God my life.  I continue to doubt him and I really don't spend any time with him.  I use him when I need him and then put him back on the shelf.  Wow I was not intending to get very deep.  I am also dealing with some feelings as my family is concerned.  It is surprising how many people I know and am friends with Got married in the past few years.  Wedding bells are definitly in the air.  The 2nd of my engaged roomates last year are now married.  Which reminds me I have to get a gift for one and actually give the gift to the other one.  Well I am going to go.  I am going to either do some reading or work on some other work.  Well this is the short man signing off.

I figured it has been almost a month so I thought I probably should update y'all on what is going on in my life.  The year is going by alright.  I am still strugling with procrastination but I am getting a little better.  I am taking small steps at a time.  I keep saying this that this is going to be an intersting year.  I have this feeling that something big is going to happen this year either to myself or the entire campus.  I think God is trying to prepare me for something.  I am begining to get a little more comfertable in what I want to do after I graduate.  I have been telling people I want to go back and get my RN and people are saying that they think I would be good at that.  So, that is very reasuring.  There is another intersting thing that is happening to me.  I have been nominated for the homecoming court.  I ave been nominated before but I think I have a good shot this year because the senior class gets three male delegates.  There is also a chance that I get voted as King.  Wouldn't that be funny.  There is acually a group of people who are trying to get me elected as king.  They have been telling people to vote for me.  By what I hear people actually are.  So that is exciting.  I am strugling with the fact that I am a senior and still don't know what it is like to be in a relationship.  Love is all around me.  My brother is in a serious relationship.  My best friend/ sister figure is in a relationship and now even my roomate is starting to date someone.  What is my problem.  Is it the fact that I am not very outgoing.  Is it because I am short and most girls want someone taller than them.  Or am not that good looking which I don't think is the case because I have been told I am decent looking.  Who knows, well God does but we all know that.  Its funny my brother continues to remind me how he is glad that I haven't lowered my standards for a girl.  I would not be surprised if my future spouse is right infront of my nose I just don't know it yet.  Well I am going to go and try to get caught up some homework. 

This is the short man signing off. Goodbye

I'mmm baaack

Well after a long slumber the ranting is back.  For those of you who may have missed my rants on politics or the world well this is for y'all.  I just read an article saying that Kidnergardeners and firstgraders are having a much harder work load then what we got when we where younger.   In this article kids are being tested every so often to see if they are up to a certain reading and writing level.  This is then causing a competive spirit to where parents want there kids to be in the top of there kidnergarden class.  Some experts where saying that at that age social skills and how the kids interact are just as important as reading and writing.  Teachers are forced to try to teach kids these curiculumso that they can do well on these tests.  There even talking about substituting more reading and writing and replacing things like music, art, recess, and even social studies.  Which is funny schools are going health crazy but ignoring the fact that kids need recess a time where they can have fun but excercise at the same time.  Sounds like a double standard to me.  Some of this comes from Bush's No Child Left Behind Act.  Don't get me wrong I love Bush and think he's a great president and agree with most of what he has done.  But this No Child Left Behind thing is a dumb idea.  Like communism it is nice and theory but can not be acted out.  Come on by filling these kids with all this knowledge there only going to change into big snobs with very little friends.  There really is not much we can do now since we don't have kids and are still in school.  But to you education majors and future parents see to it that your kids get a good balance and when y'all are sitting on a school board see to it the elementary schools have a good balance.  Well I will talk to y'all later.  This post will also be on my myspace.  This is the short man signing off 

Ben