blur

This weekend is going to a blur of driving between Cleveland, Columbus, and Pittsburgh.

Tomorrow I’m headed to Columbus to play Santa for my niece and nephew.  Us siblings all decided we weren’t going to go two crazy with gifts for the each other’s kids (I have none, so that was easy for them!) but I had to pick up a thing or two.  Mostly, I just love giving the gifts (that I force Frank to wrap!)…

After a night in Columbus with my sister/spouse from Tennessee, then I’m off to Pittsburgh the next morning.  That’s about a 3 hour drive – which is a real pain in the ass.  It’s also my least favorite drive because there are so many assholes on Interstate 70.  Either they’re going 15 under the speed limit or they’re trying to ride my ass because I’m ONLY going 15 over!

I’m also playing Santa with my folks.  My dad is the hardest to shop for – he never seems to put anything on his list.  Plus, he and I don’t really talk much and my mom didn’t even bother to give me his list (not that I asked, I guess), so I kinda improvised.  I feel confident he will enjoy what I settled on – but who knows?  At Thanksgiving I saw last year’s gift still in shrink wrap covered in dust. 

How do you find gifts for your parents?

After Pittsburgh on Sunday, it’s another 2 hour trip back to Cleveland – to play a very different kind of Santa for Frank.  I owe him some big thank-you’s for all his work around the house this week.  He’s started to organize the office (what a mess) and wrapped most of the gifts for my family (except for the ones I’m giving him!).  But with all this traveling in just one weekend, he and will be able to enjoy the rest of the holidays undisturbed.

So more than likely, I won’t be anywhere to be found but the bedroom until Dec 24.  And sorry, but you’re not invited…

xoxo

my friend sabrina

If any of you get a chance, check out my friend Sabrina’s blog and web site.  She’s a damn fine writer (fellow graduate of the U of Pitt) and she is desperately trying to bring in a little extra cash from her site. 

So if you like good blogs (e-hem, you’re reading mine, so that should tell you something!) then subscribe to her myspace blog where she will regularly give you links and tips on finding her most recent posts.

Or you can visit her web site directly: http://www.sabrinaspiher.com.

Oh, and in case you’re not regularly checking the What’s New page on Freeboi, I just posted the Featured Blogs for this week.  Enjoy, because I did.

Ok, now I’ve need to get dinner with Frank (it’s date night) and make some phone calls.  And tomorrow is my last day of work until January 2, so I’m super happy. 

xoxo

confidence

After all the drama with my car last week (fuel door has been fixed but the rattle lives on…) and then a stressful week at work and now a ridiculous spat with some friends about things I really don’t give a crap about – and now having slid so far behind in comments and Freeboi updates due to the whole friend thing – I’m going to use this blog to cheer myself up.  Or at least boost my confidence.

That’s been my problem recently – a complete lack of confidence, questioning every last thing and doubting every decision I make.  It’s been happening a lot at work, especially when I have to tackle a big project.  I agonize over the preparation, I over-analyze every angle of the project, and I worry about the “what-ifs”.  It doesn’t help that I don’t like confrontation – damn those account managers with all their wily confidence and fast talking.  I catch myself tripping over my own thoughts as they manage to stumble out of my mouth.

The confidence just kinda oozed out of me, slipping away gradually.  I don’t know when it started – probably back when I first changed jobs and had to face a task I wasn’t fully equipped to handle.  Or maybe I could blame it on my boss for being so damn controlling – micromanagement stifles independent thinking!  But it really just comes back to me – I didn’t realize until a couple days ago that the confidence was gone and I was nothing but a ball of nerves and worry.

Today I did my best to take charge.  I tried to force myself to keep moving with projects – there is such a thing as too much analysis.  I pushed up some short-term targets and psyched myself up to start working on new long-term targets.  And I bit the bullet and made my best attempt to be more aggressive with account managers.  Now that I’m writing all this, I feel a little better, just a wee bit proud of myself.  I’m making progress rebuilding that confidence.

I’ve also tried to put aside the self-doubt – both at work and over Freeboi.  I’m a smart guy and I know what needs to happen to get results at work.  I know where the results should be and I know who is responsible.  *gulp*  And will aggressively chase those results regardless of confrontation.

This blog is probably mostly meaningless to you – but that’s ok.  I need to put some of this on paper (or at least into a word document) and then save and close and forget.  I need to pretend that someone else is listening (I know some of you are), but it’s really just about letting myself work through the complexity of emotions.

Freeboi has been a struggle recently.  The site has become fragmented, divided into “sections” with different individuals providing content for “their” pet sections without any interest to the other sections.  Rather than having a cohesive message or focus, the site feels like many different pieces cobbled together to form some kind of limping creature.  And I guess, considering that all the help in volunteer and the site has only been live for about 1 year, maybe this creature is ok. 

But here’s where I must have confidence in my own gut – Freeboi must change soon and it must change rapidly.  No more disjointed fragments, no more loosey-goosey, no more limping along.  Freeboi is going back to basics – helping the community.  And it must happen as a cohesive site with a cohesive focus and purpose.  If I can’t pull it off with the help of my team of volunteers, then at least I will have done all I could. 

Sound grim?  It’s actually a huge motivation to get it right and to refocus.  And I feel so much better having just written all that out.  It’s been building up for a while…

I still want to buy a couple more gifts for Frank, but otherwise all my shopping is complete.  Some packages still haven’t arrived, but I’m an Amazon Prime member, so I’m confident they will show up in plenty of time.  I’m a little concerned about some things I ordered through American Eagle, though… They CLAIM the packages should arrive by Dec 24 – but will they? 

My problem with Xmas shopping is that I hate having to quit.  I like to ignore my credit card bills and pretend I have gobs of cash just burning a hole in my pocket.  Like with American Eagle – if you spend $100, you get free shipping.  So I treated myself and Frank to a few extra presents to hit the free shipping, even though I probably would have saved money by just picking up the two original items and paying the $10 shipping…

I think I’m done for tonight.  I just remembered I need to pay a credit card bill and I still have time to watch a couple DVR shows while I wrap up some odds and ends online.  (I can’t write while the TV is on, so I have to suspend my shows while I type up these blogs.)  But I think from now on I will sign my blogs (and comments on myspace) with the below signature.  I’ve used it before, but from now on, it’s my official signature.  Let’s see if I can remember to post it each time I blog…

bite me honda

This is going to have to be quick because my battery is dying and I’m in the only room of the house with a decent hot-air vent.  And I love hot-air blowing against me – especially if I can cuddle up by the vent with a book or hot chocolate and a blanket.  But the point is, once my battery dies and I have to leave this room, this blog will take a nasty turn for the worse.

Just to prep you for where I am going with this blog, industry analysts predict that in the very near future, customers like me will buy cars not based on brand or technology or horsepower or any of that, but based on the customer service provided by a brand’s dealers.  Seems reasonable to me – if I’m not treated right, why would I want a car with 500 horsepower?  Who’s gonna fix it when the timing belt snaps?

I started leasing my new 2008 Honda Accord at the very end of September.  (You can look back in my blog history and you’ll find when I started…)  From the day I got the car, the fuel door would not open properly.  When I would push the release on the inside of the car, the fuel door wouldn’t open – well, not until I pushed about 20 times and cussed it over and over!  Problem 1.

An annoying rattle started appearing in the rear of the car about 3 weeks after I took possession of the car.  It’s not a constant rattle and it took me a while to isolate where it was coming from and when it occurred.  But it has gotten progressively worse and seems to come from inside the seat-belt housing behind either front seat.  I hear a rattle when I go over the right bumps or when I slam my door.  Problem 2.

I took my car in two weekends ago to have the fuel door fixed.  The serviceman watched me push the release 20 times before the fuel door finally opened, examined the fuel door latch, and then accused me of “bending” the latch and causing it to malfunction.  Yes, because when I get bored at home, I look for random ways to sabotage myself and my transportation!  Problem 3.

The serviceman then began rather violently nudging and bending the fuel door release to “fix” the problem I must have caused.  He closed the fuel door and asked me to push the release again.  I did and of course the fuel door flies right open as it should.  The serviceman says the problem is fixed and sends me on my way.  When I get home 20 minutes later, I decide to test the fuel door again – you know, just to be sure the whole bendy-bendy fix really worked.  20 pushes and twice that many expletives later, I fuel door finally opens again.  Clearly, the car’s flawed fuel door required more than a vigorous bend.  Problem 4.

Last Thursday I decide to try and schedule a real appointment and get the door fixed.  So I log into my Honda Owner’s Link site, confirm that my deal accepts online appointment scheduling, and confirm that the dealer has an available opening on Saturday.  I meticulously fill out all my information and even provide a detailed description of the problems.  I click send, check my email for Honda’s confirmation email, and sigh a breath of relief.  I have a real appointment scheduled – at last.  The next morning before work, I decide to check my email and as I am reading my mother’s Xmas list email, a new message from Honda floats into my inbox.  My scheduled service at my dealer has been canceled.  Problem 5.

Around noon on Friday, I decide to call the dealer and find out what happened with my appointment.  So I call the dealer, give them my name and appointment confirmation number, and the woman on the other end makes an exasperated sound.  “I haven’t received any appointment for you, sir.  Did you want to schedule maintenance?”  So I explain the problems with the car, I explain that it’s important to be able to access my gas tank, and I explain if I cannot get in on a Saturday then I will need a loaner car or transportation to work while my car is at the dealer.  Abruptly the woman cuts me off, “Hold please.”  I’m making this call from work because the dealer canceled my appointment – what the hell am I holding for?  Problem 6.

I am transferred to the service manager, but the woman hasn’t told him any of what I have told him so I have to repeat myself.  Now I’m in a hurry and starting to really feel the frustration.  When I get to the part about needing a loaner car, the service manager cuts me off just like the woman before him – “Honda won’t provide a rental while a vehicle is still drivable.”  Did I ask him what Honda would allow?  Do I care?  Here’s what I asked instead: “This is a design flaw and if I’m already paying for a car I can’t drive, why should I have to pay for another rental?”  There was a long pause and then the service manager says all he can provide is shuttle service – a driver to drop me off and pick me up.  I’m pissed but I agree – I just want the damn car fixed.  Never mind those errands I normally run on Mondays or going home at lunch – at least they can give me shuttle service… Problem 7.

So Monday rolls around, I drop the car off, explain about the fuel door and the rattles once again, and get dropped off by the chauffer after a less-than-enjoyable riding experience.  (See Monday’s blog…)  Later in the afternoon the service manager calls to tell me my fuel door has been fixed and the parts to fix the rattle are on order.  I’m so relieved, I agree to have the car dropped off at my work.  An hour later the car arrives – the speakers are on full blast, both car seats are moved way back, and the engine feels raspy – like it’s been driven hard by a 19-year-old like the one who climbs out.  Never mind.  At least the fuel door has been fixed – right?  After I park the car (the drop-off team has now long since sped away), I check the fuel door release just to make sure.  20 pushes later…yeah.  Problem 8.

I call the service manager back, explain that the fuel door still will not open properly, and explain that I want to get it fixed ASAP before it becomes a safety hazard.  And I explain that when I bring in the car I will again need transportation.  “We have a shuttle service,” he tells me again, confirming once again that Honda will not pay for a rental while a car is drivable.  I’m starting to wonder what Honda will think of a dealer who can’t fix a simple fuel door latch.  “Fine.  When can I bring it in?” I ask.  To minimize MY wasted time, he suggests waiting until the parts for fixing the rattle come in.  Fine.  He hangs up and I’m left quivering with frustration – how much am I shelling out for this damn car?  Problem 9.

Tuesday, around noon, I get a voice mail from a lovely woman calling to verify the quality of my service visit to the dealer.  I was scribbling down her digits so fast you would have thought I was a straight boy about to get some action!  I called her back and poured out my soul to this woman.  I explained how I had brought in the vehicle twice for the same problem, how the problem still was not fixed, how I had to beg just for shuttle transport, how I was having to pay for a vehicle I wasn’t able to drive.  She genuinely sounded sad and concerned, assured me she would talk with the service manager, and asked if she could call me right back.  And she did.  Christmas came early this year – a new fuel door was now on order AND I would get a loaner car the next time I came in for service.  I just about asked the lady what SHE wanted for Christmas I was so happy!

Now I’ve really stretched this blog out for too long, but I’ll confess right now: as much as I love Honda, if they fuck this up again, I don’t need to buy from them again.  Hell, I don’t even need to buy foreign – that new Malibu keeps whispering sweet nothings in my ear…The right service will sell the metal.

i work for a cult

I don’t love my job.  It’s not a job you can love unless Access and Excel give you a boner.  But I’m only 25, so I guess I still have time to find the job I love.  Not so for one of my coworkers who was celebrating her retirement today.  37 years with the company – you’d think she would be ready to experience life OUTSIDE the four partial walls of her cubicle.  But she was weeping on and on, hugging each of us in turn, mushing on about coming back as part of the cleaning staff.  Oh, somebody please, PLEASE put a bullet in my head if I ever get to that point.

She called us her family – I’m not her family.  Works is NOT my family.  It’s work and it will ever only be work.  If I manage to find a friend or two along the way, all the better.  But there’s no way in hell I will devote my life to a job or a company – no matter how good they are to me.  In the end, what do you get from the company?  A cake?  A plaque?  Knowing that someone younger and faster will do your work in half the time for a third of the money?

Apparently she has been working from 5 AM – 8 PM 6 days a week for 37 years.  That’s not normal and it can’t be healthy.  Maybe it’s because she doesn’t have any children or any hobbies or any secret obsessions.  But how do you become that employee who weeps at their retirement party and fantasizes about returning as a member of the cleaning staff?

I promise I’ll fill you in on my car in my next blog.  Right now I need to make some phone calls and finish prepping the Featured Blogs for this week.  The GLBT News won’t be available until tomorrow – Frank has been busy with creating and proctoring the final for his class, so he hasn’t been able to complete the summaries yet.