next year, a junior will ask me, "what'd you do on senior walk out"

and i will answer, "i spent half of it in the emergency room."

i'm noticing a trend here. good things are always followed by bad things. i get into college, i get no financial aid. we have senior walk out, i get knocked into the ground and hit my head. my mom comes home and for once in my life she doesn't kill me...we go out to dinner and then i slip and fall on the ice. again.

wtf?

my fucking head is fucking POUNDING. how much trauma could a girl suffer in a day?

so...to squash any rumors that anyone might have heard...and to reassure myself that no, i did not croak (...thanks a lot keith ukrisna)...
we are frolicking in the snow because it is senior walk out. ...well more like tackling each other and throwing large snow balls, aiming at people's faces. after about twenty minutes of this we all get tired because we're old and frail. then all of a sudden eric, who has been tackling people the whole time, tries to knock zitlali to the ground...but sadly eric is smaller than zitlali so he fails. he ends up pushing her...and zitlali then slips...and then she crashes into me and i fall backwards and land on my head.
does that sound painful? well it should. because it HURT. and for the first time in my life. i saw STARS. they're very shiny.
so since i had no idea i was heading for the ground anytime soon, i was in complete shock. and my head was in great pain. and it was cold. and raining/snowing. and i was like, ugh what a great way to end my senior walk out. so mosco, nurse etc come running and they're like, "CALL AMBULANCE" and i'm still lying there because i'm like, "omfg wtf just happened." then after a few minutes, my brain starts working again and i'm like...i'm really cold. i'm really cold because i'm in the snow. so i try to get up and dry myself but the nurse doesn't let me move. so i'm there. in the snow. for half an hour. and mosco calls my MOTHER...who's like, WTF HAPPENED, and i'm like blehhhhhhhh. while we wait for the ambulance. which i didn't NEED. but no. they HAD to call it.

so yay my first ambulance ride! i never thought i'd be the one they were bringing to the hospital...quite interesting. and we sat around in the ER and i was bored and i got impatient and i started whining. and then the doctor came over and had me checked out...no CAT scans...nothing like that. just some reflex tests. then we sat around to wait for my mom...who actually didn't leave work for a WHILE...so that when i was ready to get discharged, she wasn't even there yet. so i called her and told her not to bother coming since i was going back to school anyway. yah. she was annoyed...b/c she was already in the tunnel so she had to turn around and drive back to work.

yep. so nurse denmark and i walked back to school. ::sigh::

and five minutes ago, when i was getting out of my car i slipped on a nice smooth patch of ice under my car and went WHOOSH. and fell. again. at least it was my butt this time. and my butt has lots of fat :) great cushioning.

god i am so stupid. must be a tiny bit of brain damage.

i stole this idea from allen zhang...but whatever. i thought of it first. although i will quote him anyway:

"I'm going to make a pledge, that I will do whatever in my power to help anyone get in their respective college, because I think everyone should experience the same feeling that I've experienced. Whether it be prepping for the SATs, tutoring, or college essay editing, I'll help. Please take me up for my offer, because I really really want to you guys all to get into your schools."

i couldn't have done it without you guys. i couldn't have done it without my friends. in fact, i don't think i did anything at all - i didn't really deserve it but i got it because you were all there for me. you supported my decision even though my counselor made it obvious she thought it was all impossible. we sure showed her, didn't we? you calmed my ass down when i was so fucking freaked out about apps and ssrs and all that shit, and now i'm finally at peace.
but i'm not done. there is so much more to do. not for me...but for you all. i will do anything i possibly can to have you guys feel the way i do right now. anything. because i don't care about anything else anymore...besides passing physics because ms roque is so great and i feel bad for failing her class.

anyway. i have been referred to as a "great interview" and i think i'm not too shabby. i think of some good/hard questions :)
and honestly, i know more about colleges than any of stuy's counselors. as in, the actual colleges themselves. not the process. i've memorized fiske like crazy unintentionally...after reading it so many times.

so. all you have to do is ask. and i'm praying for you all and HOPING that you all get in next week...next next week...march...april...whenever.

thank you for loving me and caring about me and supporting me and believing in me. and if you doubted me even a little, thanks for not mentioning it :)
i love you :)

Dartmouth '10
(...if i find the money to pay for this school)