| im gonna try to express my feelings and it seems dang near impossible now.
more than anyone i hate myself, more than anything i need someone else. i dont know if i can deal with it. i honestly for the first time in my life do not feel like i deserve to live. and quite honestly i dont want to right now. the best thing for me to do is to just go to bed. itll save me alot of trouble and pain. i feel so worthless and theres no way i can be any different than anyobdy else anymore. everything just dropped and i dont feel like being here. im so empty right now. this has got to be one of the worst nights ive ever had. i have truely screwed up and i cant fix it. this feeling is the worst thing ive ever felt and its nobodys fault but my own. i disappoint myself in so many ways and this shouldnt be of any surprise. |
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| hmm it all happened so fast. its interesting and leaves much to the mind all at the same time dont ya think? |
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| well is there anybody else who would like to express how much they hate me? im here and im listening so come on and why doesnt everyone just tell me what they think about me? life sucks and it seems pointless anymore. |
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| its good to have you back. i was sooo lost without you. like you said it still feels like theres some tension but we will work it out, i promise you that. weve already talked more in an hour than we have the whole time weve been fighting. i mean everything ive told you. i only say things i dont mean when im mad. and you know i cant stay mad at ya forever. even when im mad at ya i still care about ya. well i feel alot better now that were talking. |
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| well great day i tell ya. me and a so called "friend" got into it. shes gonna have a boyfriend shes never even met before and tell me she is just friends and she didnt talk to him for two days and she could use the break from him. haha she sure told me what i wanted to hear. oh well i hope hes worth it. she was my friend for two years and we was real close. but as soon as some random cock comes along she doesnt want a thing to do with me. oh well i guess its like she said, im just like all her other friends. well whats left of them anyways. all the other ones have either been shot or committed suicide. and i finally realize why. maybe i should join them. she wouldnt miss me and even if she did i wouldnt care. i am too dumb to realize when im getting screwed until its too late. maybe one day hell screw her like she did me. nah, i doubt it. i cant get that lucky. all i know is i wont be around to see it happen. two years getting close to someone and for what? all just another big upset. maybe ill stick around for one more. like they say though, three strikes and youre out. and ive only got one more strike. then i will be out. maybe thats what this world needs. is less of me. im sure thatd make alot of people happy  . haha yea that sounds like a good idea.whatever though im done. |
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